Reasons You're Not Getting Interviews; Plus Some Crazy Real Resume Mistakes 246
Yvonne Lee, Community Manager at Dice.com writes,
"Not using standard job titles, not tying your work to real business results and not using the right keywords can mean never getting called for an interview, even if you have the right skills to do the job. I once heard advice to use the exact wording found in the ad when placing your keywords. I think you're even more unlikely to get a job if you do some of the things on this list."
LMFTFY (Score:5, Funny)
Again? (Score:5, Funny)
Another link to dice.com? That must be a great site! No time to comment! I'm heading over there RIGHT NOW!!
It All Started Last Year ... (Score:5, Funny)
Yvonne Lee: Well, really all you need is eyeballs that people will automatically use to read whatever you put in front of them.
CEO of Dice: Yes, but how do we do that?
Yvonne Lee: Um, you could purchase a tech blog site like Slashdot.org.
CEO of Dice: "Slashdot"? Sounds violent
Yvonne Lee: Yes, everything that goes up on there is widely regarded as fact by millions of idiots every day.
CEO of Dice: Very well, one slash dot dot org, please! *holds up $137 in small bills and drops some change on the table*
Dice.com (Score:5, Funny)
After study a couple of of the weblog posts on your internet site now, and I genuinely like your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark web site list and will probably be checking back soon. I certainly will be recommend dice.com to all friends and good family.
News for nerds, stuff that matters.
Can someone point me in the right direction? (Score:5, Funny)
I need to know where /. moved to. I didn't realize this url was now the Dice.com blog.
Re:Again? (Score:5, Funny)
I know what you're thinking, and they don't sell actual dice.
Re:HWGA (Score:5, Funny)
Seconded.
Still, may as well try to make the best of it. Joey Coumeau wrote some pretty funny job applications:
http://www.asofterworld.com/oqarchive.php [asofterworld.com]
Re:HWGA (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Again? (Score:4, Funny)
Someone who is a libertarian ought to complain to the UN/WIPO/ICANN/whatever and try to get it taken away.
Re:To Yvonne Lee from all slashdot readers, (Score:1, Funny)
Dear Anonymous Coward. Thanks for your comment. I read it and enjoyed it. In fact, I did follow your advice. After work I went home and got out the 15" DilBlastastic and did fuck myself. It was very enjoyable. I will be repeating the experience again this evening. Thanks for the comment and I'm glad you enjoy my work.
Yours,
Yvonne.
Re:LMFTFY (Score:4, Funny)
Not going to touch "increase user stickiness" with a ten foot pole.
I see what you did there.
Anyone else "trying" to quit? (Score:5, Funny)
University of Nix (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Meme alert. (Score:4, Funny)
Yvonne Lee, Community Manager at Dice.com writes,
Re:LMFTFY (Score:5, Funny)
The problem with all these stories on how to write your resume is that they're written by people who are fundamentally useless and are stuck writing puff pieces and managing someone's twitter account.
The bigger problem is that the people who review your resume are fundamentally useless and are stuck writing puff pieces and managing someone's twitter account.
Re:HWGA (Score:4, Funny)