Microsoft In Talks To Buy Claria 352
axonis writes "For the last two weeks, Microsoft has been in talks to buy Claria, an adware marketer formerly called Gator, and best known for its pop-up ads and software that tracks people visiting Web sites. The offer price on the table as recently as Wednesday was $500 million. One person briefed on the deal said there was opposition within Microsoft to the acquisition. Analysts said Microsoft would probably be most interested in the long-term potential of Claria's personalization software rather than its pop-up ads."
I thought that said CHINA! (Score:5, Funny)
It could, of course, be a good thing, if they can buy the company, and use their software for something other than spyware and popups!
What to do with them? (Score:5, Funny)
This will eliminate SPYWare (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft is no longer the Microsoft we all love (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I thought that said CHINA! (Score:5, Funny)
on the bright side... (Score:5, Funny)
I felt a great disturbance in the force. . . (Score:5, Funny)
Bonzai Buddy (Score:5, Funny)
Bad news (Score:4, Funny)
When they combine, they form a new terror, as vast as Microsoft yet as wicked as Claria -- and our weapons will be useless against it. It will destroy all of Meta-Tokyo, unless we can find the Magic Princess in time and give her the Moon Crystal and the Seven Essences! Your quest begins here...
(Press 'B' to continue)
In the related news... (Score:2, Funny)
You can see what's coming... (Score:3, Funny)
Makes sense to me... (Score:4, Funny)
MS=(I'll let you figure that one...)
so, let me get this right.... (Score:4, Funny)
I really want to see how the PR people market this.
Re:Microsoft is no longer the Microsoft we all lov (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Interesting strategy... (Score:4, Funny)
I don't think Steve is smoking pot. It's something way stronger than that. Something top secret and isn't on the streets strong.
Re:I thought that said CHINA! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:This will eliminate SPYWare (Score:5, Funny)
new: We know where you've been!
Re:What to do with them? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Bonzai Buddy (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Wow... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Microsoft is no longer the Microsoft we all lov (Score:5, Funny)
I think you misspelled "crap."
It's a common typo, they keys are like, right next to each other.
(with apologies to bash)
talk about a value-add for the OS!!! (Score:5, Funny)
NWO : "For only $29.99, we won't tell the wife/DEA/Homeland Security!"
Oh damn, forgot to click "Post Anonymously"...
Re:Makes sense to me... (Score:5, Funny)
Q: What is the difference between Microsoft and Claria?
A: One makes software that subverts control, slows operation to a near halt, and generally damages the way your computer functions. The other is just a spyware company.
Re:on the bright side... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Bonzai Buddy (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Another great innovation by MS ! (Score:2, Funny)
"Minion! Get over here!" (Score:2, Funny)
"Yes, Master Gates! We scurry to obey our Lordship's fearsome wrath!"
"Minion, it's been more than a month since I found a way to make myself more evil and I'm completely out of ideas! I was wondering if your abject, toady self could come up with anything better."
"Errrr, Your Worship could turn his steely fist of retribution to the task of creating more Windows security holes, oh Instigator of Mandatory Overtime?"
"Bah, that's an automated process now! Try harder, you pathetic cringing worm!"
"Ummm, you could always give more money to Darl McBride, oh Slayer of Open Source!"
"That idiotic bungler! We were cought faking evidence in the middle of our trial and still came out on top, and he can't even drag his pathetic little farce out three years?"
"Create an iPod clone, oh Exterminator of the Jobsian Herasy?"
"Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Next!"
"You could get William Hung and Billy Ray Cyrus to collaborate on a new version of "Achy Breaky Heart."
Gates fixed his minion with a steely glare. "Even I have limits."
"Well, then what about buying a spyware company, oh Vengeful Wielder of Billiions? One with really annoying popups and tracking software that's impossible to remove."
"What, like RealMedia?"
"Well, that would work, but I was thinking about Gator, oh Bringer of Viruses."
"That's it! Great idea! Good thinking, minion! Tonight you get extra fishheads in your gruel!"
Crow T. Trollbot
Hiring Tactic (Score:3, Funny)
Next, they'll be buying SCO for its executives and legal team. These are the staff they need to fight open source.
(it's a joke people, don't take it seriously)
Re:This will eliminate SPYWare (Score:2, Funny)
Microsoft AntiSpyware? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I wonder.... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I thought that said CHINA! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Wow... (Score:2, Funny)
It looks like you're writing a letter! Would you like me to start randomly adjusting the formatting for you?
Re:This will eliminate SPYWare (Score:3, Funny)
"It looks like you are surfing for pr0n. Would you like help?"
The good news is... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Wow... (Score:3, Funny)
That's a nice thing to think, but you'd also be "buying" the employees who came up with Gator and all that nifty "personalization" associated with it. Personally, I wouldn't want to work with somone that skanky.
Ob. joke (Score:3, Funny)
This is an entry in Bill Gates's diary:
Re:I thought that said CHINA! (Score:3, Funny)
"We have established that much of Google's success is based on their corporate culture. The culture is based on their unofficial motto. We were unable to retrieve a full copy of the motto, but hopefully two thirds of it will be enough to get the point. I recommend basing all future business decisions on the idea that this motto puts forth.
The motto as we know it is "{smudged word} BE EVIL"
Hopefully the smudged word isn't too important...
Re:This will eliminate SPYWare (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I thought that said CHINA! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I thought that said CHINA! (Score:2, Funny)