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Worms Security IT Science

First PC Virus Spreads to Humans 231

Davidlost writes "A PC-to-human virus, known as Malwarlaria.B is spreading in humans after a mass spamming in the early hours of Friday morning. It spreads through contact with keyboards on infected PCs. Be afraid, be very afraid."
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First PC Virus Spreads to Humans

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  • by MoxCamel ( 20484 ) * on Friday April 01, 2005 @02:12PM (#12112619)
    1992 called, and wants its joke back.

    Note to staff: The thing about April 1st jokes is that they should be subtle enough to catch the reader unawares. There's nothing subtle or clever about a constant slew of joke stories, most of which wouldn't fool even my PHB. Consider trying for a ratio of about 5 real stories to 1 "fool" story next year.

    (Yeah, I'm being a curmudgeon, so fsck'ing mod me. I like a good April Fool story as much as the next geek, but it stops being funny after a barrage.)


    • This April fools Feels particularly uninspired
    • by cbreaker ( 561297 ) on Friday April 01, 2005 @02:25PM (#12112818) Journal
      The last few years I've looked forward to trying to guess which Slashdot story was the fake one on April 1st. I think Last Years was pretty good, but I don't really remember.

      But when you try to do it over and over like this it's really stupid and takes away all the fun of it.
    • by mollog ( 841386 ) on Friday April 01, 2005 @02:25PM (#12112826)
      The people who insist on pointing out the obvious fact that these 'news articles' are in fact, gags, are lame. Not only are they humor impaired, they lack the wit to form a thoughtful criticizism of the gags. Please note that there is a difference between being discerning and being critical. Many don't get that disctinction and think themselves clever when they are able to find fault. It's too bad so many of us can't attempt even a minimal retort in the spirit that the slashdot admins are showing. Come on people, are we so weak minded we can't even think up a clever response to this stuff?
    • by _xeno_ ( 155264 ) on Friday April 01, 2005 @02:26PM (#12112836) Homepage Journal

      Personally, I think Slashdot should do a total of two April 1st stories. One should be a Slashdot prank, and be done at or around 6AM GMT. Something like "removing the ability to post anonymously" or "due to an FBI subpeona, we will be retroactively displaying the actual poster of all AC posts starting April 15th" - something that's mildly plausible but clearly not really happening.

      (Actually, they already did the first one. It wasn't that funny because it was buried among a deluge of other April 1st stories.)

      The second story should be done some time later in the day, and should be a wrap-up of the various funny April Fools jokes done on other sites. Simply collecting and reporting on every single April Fools joke out there is, as the parent post says, simply a barrage of pointlessness.

      Yes, we know, it's April 1st. It's deadly obvious. A good April 1st joke requires someone to look at the calendar and say "oh, it's April 1st!" So far, that hasn't really applied.

    • Note to staff: The thing about April 1st jokes is that they should be subtle enough to catch the reader unawares. There's nothing subtle or clever about a constant slew of joke stories, most of which wouldn't fool even my PHB. Consider trying for a ratio of about 5 real stories to 1 "fool" story next year.

      Note 2: Some countries are no longer in "fool" time and as a consequence, I was able to see this "news" article for what it was quite clearly!
    • by Anonymous Coward
      1992 called, and wants its joke back.

      2000 called and wants their insult back......(sigh)

    • They totally catch everyone unaware by posting the article on July 17th.

      Who would expect it then?
    • Posting this as a "good" April Fool's joke is just about the same as posting a "serious" story about a nanotech-based sticker that will improve your cell phone battery [].

      And yes, I'll agree. This doesn't even get up to the PHB level! Slashdot needs science editors with a clue!
    • by temojen ( 678985 )
      Wasn't this a movie plot about that time?
    • "Note to staff: The thing about April 1st jokes is that they should be subtle enough to catch the reader unawares."

      Note to Slashdot readers new to the concept (your UID says one thing, your post says another): Slashdot is a Web Log in the original sense (not the modern "I wanna type where everybody knows my name" sense), and as a result they report on the goings on of the day on the Net. If you have a problem with the idea that people are putting up lame-ass April fools jokes today -- and so that's what th
    • What really disturbs me is that presumably, enough people were taken in by this, [] to justify this [].

      No wonder estate agents and used car salesman have such an easy time

    • I agree, the jokes should be subtle enough to fool at least one person. I like to read something, think long and hard about it, and still not be able to figure out if it's true or not. Like these ones: [] w=2 []

      Real or fake? I don't know. On the other hand, "First PC Virus Spreads to Humans" is so bad that there is no real reason to click the link except that every story on /. is a "joke" today.

    • Oh yeah? (Score:3, Funny)

      by Manhigh ( 148034 )
      1992 called, and wants its joke back.

      Well the jerk store called...and they're running out of you!

      -obligatory Seinfeld reference
    • My doctor just told me I tested positive for Malwarlaria.B, you insensitive clod.
    • Seriously. My pc used to overheat, because of an incompatible cpu/motherboard combination (i think it was a p3 chip in a p2 board or the other way around). So my pc case was always open, with my desk-fan blowing directly onto the board and chip. Because of the setup of my room/desk/fan/pc, the pc had to face away from me, so the ports faced me. My friend lent me a bus-fan one day to see if that would work, as opposed to having to leave the case open all the time with a large deskfan blowing on it all th
    • No offense, but are there *any* websites out there that promise to report actual news on April 1st? This is boring and ridiculous every year.

      Seriously, there are legitimate stories out there. Like the Pope's health. I'm not even Catholic and I'd like to know if anyone would even believe he died today because of all the stupid April Fools crap.

      This gets old. VERY old. If you want to be subtle, like the parent suggests. Do at most one really, really, good subtle joke.
  • Banally overdoing april fools day
  • The whole page is all april fools day jokes.

    I was reading slashdot and my dad just about flipped out when readying 2 of the stories, believing them!

    IT was so hilarious to see him cursing out bush for cancelling the shuttle program
    • by mikael ( 484 ) on Friday April 01, 2005 @02:46PM (#12113029)
      ... the Random slashdot story generator []
      • these are great!

        "Federal Judge John Carmack has ordered the break up of Novell after ruling they are a monopoly. The decision calls for Novell to be broken up into two parts: one to concentrate on manufacturing Tivos the other on OpenBSD development. Competitors such as Boeing and open source projects like vi shuold be very pleased with the decision."

        "Monkey points us to an article over at The Register that has some pretty wicked quotes from Pope John Paul II about AltaVista. He thinks that AltaVista shou
        • My favourites (at the moment, as there is always something new...)

          Microsoft Stopping Development On Windows Media Player
          Posted by brian on Sat April 02, 11:11 AM
          from the have fun hitting reload page dept.
          Jefro101 writes "According to a story on CNET Microsoft announced today that they are stopping development on Windows Media Player. I know most Slashdotters hate MS, but Windows Media Player is used by a lot of Linux gurus who'll have to search for an alternative. Might be a good oportunity for developers
  • by op12 ( 830015 )
    This is getting ridiculous.
  • by Jailbrekr ( 73837 ) <> on Friday April 01, 2005 @02:12PM (#12112631) Homepage
    Christ, if you are going to post an april fools joke, at least MAKE IT FUNNY. Y'know, zombie pope funny.

  • if next we'll find that Windows XP is susceptible to the avian flu pandemic?
  • Then again...
  • A) That this hoax will spread around and find it's way into my inbox daily for the next 10 years...*sigh* set Spam Filter: If messageText="Malwarlaria" then Bounce message.

    B) Eventually some jerk will make a real (even if just computer) virus of that same name.

    C'est la vie....
  • by kk49 ( 829669 )
    In Other News: slashdot can figure out that I have no message body, but can't figure out if a story is a dupe.
  • Was it a virus involving spamming? Slashdot editors seem to have caught it somewhere in the last ten hours or so.
  • geez! (Score:5, Funny)

    by theMerovingian ( 722983 ) on Friday April 01, 2005 @02:13PM (#12112644) Journal

    Now I'm getting diseases from my internet girlfriend too!

    (just kidding if you're reading this honey)

  • Oh NO!! (Score:2, Funny)

    by reidleake ( 818488 )
    I think I already got it.
  • Infectious (Score:4, Funny)

    by fulldecent ( 598482 ) on Friday April 01, 2005 @02:13PM (#12112647) Homepage
    In Soviet Russia, users infect computers...

    ... wait, it's pretty much like that everywhere
  • Zombies (Score:5, Funny)

    by maotx ( 765127 ) <.moc.oohay. .ta. .xtoam.> on Friday April 01, 2005 @02:13PM (#12112650)
    Infected users have been spotted mass-mailing commercial advertisements to residents and buisnesses alike to "enl4rg3 th3ir g1r7h and l3ng7h"
    Some instances have been reported of the infected gathering in large numbers, known as Destroyers of Sells (DoS), at major corporations and retailers to block the the doors allowing noone in. Symptoms include slow performance, to much chatter (blondes excepted), and zombie like movements demanding the brains of a v14gra man.
  • ....and cannot possibly be yet another April Fool's gag. I'm covering my keyboard with plastic right now!

  • Zzz..... (Score:2, Insightful)

    by Seft ( 659449 )
    I'm glad I'm not paying for this junk....
  • wonderful !
  • I guess it's bad luck to do these after 12pm? Couldnt we have standardised on an earlier time zone cos they get rather annyoing after a while.. say 7 hours ago BST :(
  • Er? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by matthew.thompson ( 44814 ) <matt AT actuality DOT co DOT uk> on Friday April 01, 2005 @02:14PM (#12112665) Journal
    Aren't these meant to stop at midday?
  • Come on now, everyone knows April Fool's jokes have to be done BEFORE 12 noon else it doesn't count!


    this must be REAL! cos SURELY CmdrTaco wouldn't make a mistake like that above!!!!! *reaches for alcohol wipes*


  • Come on people.. hundereds of thousands of geeks read slashdot every day, and we can only come up with trash like this?

    Anybody have suggestions

  • gotta love 4.1 humor.

  • In much of the /. reading world and more importanly according to the /. system clock and I was always told that April Fool's pranks played after noon work in reverse, they make the teller the April Fool.
  • 802.11 (Score:3, Funny)

    by NotoriousQ ( 457789 ) on Friday April 01, 2005 @02:15PM (#12112686) Homepage
    Phew. I was afraid that those 802.11 chips I had embedded into myself made me more susceptible to the virus. But seeing how it only spreads through the keyboard...... .....uh oh...... I knew I should have implanted a usb keyboard driver chip as well. Well I will go find a plastic bubble / faraday cage combo, and will sit there untill this thing blows over.

    I will see you later.
  • Aha (Score:4, Funny)

    by John Jorsett ( 171560 ) on Friday April 01, 2005 @02:15PM (#12112692)
    This would explain why I have a sudden urge to make unsolicited telephone sales calls.
  • April Fool's (Score:1, Redundant)

    by balster neb ( 645686 )
    It's bad enough that Slashdot's front page is dominated by April fool's day jokes on this day of the year, but the least they can do is to try to put GOOD ones. Ones that actually make you laugh, for instance.
  • Taco! Can we PLEASE abandon this horrid practice of nothing but bullshit all day on April fools. IT JUST ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE! But I am sure all this hate won't help. Just fix you fscking site! please.
  • Is it fatal? (Score:2, Insightful)

    by 93,000 ( 150453 )
    That would at least spare me the rest of the day reading this bunk.
  • Lame Lame Lame Lame Lame. This is the WORST attempt at humor I've seen in a LONG time.
  • by AtariAmarok ( 451306 ) on Friday April 01, 2005 @02:18PM (#12112736)
    President George W. Bush: "In response to this human catastrophe, I am calling Kuala Lampur right now to recall the ambassador to Malwarlaria."
  • by Anonymous Coward
    Wouldn't a true Slashdot April Fools Joke be one where all the articles throughout the day WEREN'T fake?
  • Thank you for reminding me why I hate reading slashdot on April 1.

    See ya tomorrow!

  • Apparently there was a bmw ad in a british newspaper advertising "the worlds first hands free steering wheel due to a EU ban on right hand drive cars".

    Also on bbc radio 2 they pretended that a memorial to the queen mum was going to be lump of granite placed in pall mall. Lots of of people got quite upset about it, funny really.
  • I hope... (Score:2, Funny)

    by Tribbin ( 565963 )
    I hope I get the Kournikova virus!!!
  • by exp(pi*sqrt(163)) ( 613870 ) on Friday April 01, 2005 @02:31PM (#12112883) Journal
    On April Fool's Day the idea is that you tell people stuff that isn't true so that they are fooled into believing it and we get to laugh at them. The important thing is that they need to be fooled into believing it. Just saying stuff that isn't true kinda misses the point. Admittedly it makes the speaker of the untrue stuff seem like a fool but April Fool's Day is more about make other people seem like fools than being a fool yourself. You're allowed to do the latter any day of the year. Make sense?

    If you lack the skill to fool other people another alternative is to say stuff that's untrue but funny. I've always felt this was a poor substitute for playing a joke on someone else but it is generally considered an acceptable form of April Fool's Day behavior.

    Anyway, now you're ready and armed to properly enjoy this special day that's granted to us but once a year.

    • On April Fool's Day the idea is that you tell people stuff that isn't true so that they are fooled into believing it and we get to laugh at them.

      Here's the way it's always worked for me... My mom calls me at some dreadfully early hour, when my brain is barely grasping at consciousness, and says "Happy Birthday!". She's so clever.

      It works especially well on me because my birthday is actually a few days from now, so it sounds about right, and I get all excited, and... oh... damn you, Mom! Next year I d

  • Slashdot is, as usual, obviously the *last* place I should be looking for tech news today. Guess I don't need to bother with Slashdot, or most other FOSS news sites, until Saturday.

    One joke story, even two, would be funny. Any more is useless, and Slashdot takes it to the point of being pathetic.

    The interesting thing is how "real" tech news sites like don't resort to that crap. They simply do what they do every the tech news. Its too bad Slashdot can't be as mature and intelligen
  • Note to self. (Score:3, Insightful)

    by TractorBarry ( 788340 ) on Friday April 01, 2005 @02:37PM (#12112943) Homepage
    1 Don't bother looking at Slashdot on April 1st again - EVER.

    2 Probably best to skip April 2nd too (that's when the dupes will appear)

    Honestly one well written, slightly believable, story would have been great (maybe two at a push) but today Slashdot smelled worse than a dead Tramps feet dipped in dogshit.

    Stuff like this makes baby Jebus cry...
  • I thought noon was the cutoff point for jokes?
  • We currently double glove, with nitrile over latex, but I hear that gloves made from diamond coated (CVD, chemical vapor deposistion) BeO (berylium oxide) reinforced PEEK (polyetheretherketone) work really well.

  • Very lame...

    Now, the Corrboard put up a notice saying it was closing down because the Webmaster no longer liked the Corrs music. He added a link to his "new" Website.

    Figuring his site had been hacked, or the domain hijacked, I naturally did NOT click the link, as I didn't want to get infected with something on my lame Windows side of the machine.

    So I emailed someone else to find out when the board would be back up, since I knew the message was nonsense.

    Turns out it was an April Fool's joke the site owne
  • On April Fool's Day media run one or two fake stories. As I see all stories on today's /. seem to be fakes. To make it worse, the last one is so obvious it hurts. Come on guys, world doesn't halt for this day - there are even some places where this custom isn't know! There must be some real, relevant news out there!

    I'm tired already of the 04-01-05.

  • Ok, so it's probably not going to make you sick... but I DID bite my tongue trying to pronounce that name.
  • I have already started disinfecting all my keyboards. And, just to make sure, I am sand-blasting my monitor screens to cleanse any viral entities that are there. I always use rubber gloves when using my computer, and I wear an air mask to remove any foreign bodies. I feel much safer now!
  • I'm a Mac.
  • This was practically the plot of independence day
  • My good old IBM Model M keyboard is naturally immune to this new virus, so I don't care about it.

    Back in the day, IBM provided us with the best keyboard ever, and I couldn't be happier.

    I love my keyboard.
  • Snow Crash (Score:2, Informative)

    by NekSnappa ( 803141 )
    I can't believe this stroy has been up this long with out a reference to "Snow Crash" Guess I fixed that!
  • April 1 called, and it wants its prank back.

"Never face facts; if you do, you'll never get up in the morning." -- Marlo Thomas