TSA Says Screening Drinks Purchased Inside Airport Terminal Is Nothing New 427
First time accepted submitter lcam writes in with a story about a video that has started a new round of condemnation against the TSA over the testing of drinks. "The video, posted on YouTube on Monday and featured on NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams Tuesday night, has already garnered almost 125,000 hits and nearly 900 comments from angry travelers. It shows two TSA officers swabbing bottles of water, a carton of coconut water and a cup of coffee, among other liquids. 'Now remember that this is inside the terminal, well beyond the security check and purchased inside the terminal ... just people waiting to get on the plane,' YouTube user danno02 says in the video's description. 'My wife and son came back from a coffee shop just around the corner, then we were approached. I asked them what they were doing. One of the TSA ladies said that they were checking for explosive chemicals (as we are drinking them).' The TSA insisted Tuesday that its policy of checking liquids beyond the security gate has been in place for five years now. TSA agents will randomly patrol the gates using a test strip and dropper containing a non-toxic solution, it said."
Explosive (Score:5, Funny)
What about the explosive diaerara you get from eating the junk they have in the terminal?
Re:Explosive (Score:3, Funny)
They test that, too.
Re:I'll say it again.. (Score:5, Funny)
Couple got caught in the airport's bathroom on a blowjob.
"Ma'ham, please open your mouth. We have orders to test every liquid for explosives..."
Consider the security hole this does fill... (Score:4, Funny)
I really hate to defend the TSA but there is a legitimate infiltration vector that this does address - that employees beyond the checkpoint can being in substances and transfer them to passengers.
Now, I do not defend their approach - that the passengers are the ones that get interfered with. The TSA should be working behind the scenes so that dangerous materials never get brought in by employees. Someone could slip some C4 onto a palette which gets passed along to the cashier then to the traveler. Then at another store picks up the detonator, then assembles it all on the plane.
I have no idea what security there is on getting stuff into airports, I figure it's got to be nearly impossible to adequately screen everything. .
And another thing is that you wouldn't put C4 into coffee, you'd put it on the bottom of the cup in that little area created by the seam. Of course, a coffee cup is the last place. You could just cram it in a hollowed out book. You'd fit way more.
So the other give away here is that they are after a liquid threat, and we already know there are no liquid threats capable of being produced in mid-air, or on the ground without raising a lot of suspicion. It'd have to be pre-packaged.
Someone somewhere must have gotten some intel about this vector.
Re:Explosive (Score:5, Funny)
Always bring some Vaseline to the Airports bathroom.
For some reason, the first thing I thought of was Larry Craig.
Anyhoo, make sure it's no more than 3oz of Vaseline.
Re:Explosive (Score:5, Funny)
Always bring some Vaseline to the Airports bathroom. I was told that some TSA agents do a very rough fingerjob.
Yeah - it's not that rough. Typically the screener puts his left hand on your left shoulder, his right hand on your right shoulder, and then will very gently start to finger probe your...
Swab® Brand | Safe© Choice© (Score:5, Funny)
INGREDIENTS: Reclaimed Water, Radiocontrast Agents, Aspartame, MDMA, Potassium Sorbate, Castoreum, Scopolamine, Nano Lead.
How about they actually screen the goods sold? (Score:5, Funny)
Seriously.
If they are going to spot check the liquids, just do it before I purchase said liquid. That's kind of a nice deal, given it actually has some impact on my safety. Random checks after the purchase has a really shitty end game:
1. Liquid found to be benign: "Sorry for bothering you, and trust us the chemicals used for testing are no big deal." Right. Feeling good about that one. NOT!
2. Liquid found to be dubious: "I'm afraid we need to conficate your coffee miss..." She asks, "Well, what about that guy over there, who got one too?" Yeah, that's ugly. Do they go and get his to put up a brave face, eventually just taking all the coffee? Or is it just a lie, or menacing behavior to get her to just shut down? And if she asks, "But you guys certified them for sale inside the terminal right?" Their reply? LOL!!!
3. Liquid found to be dangerous: See dubious, but for a lawsuit. +1 for pain and suffering on all sides. Might as well just start handing out good drugs to prevent the headaches that are going to happen. Here in Oregon, somebody might just strip over it! State law permits nudity as a legit protest. Hello 10 O'Clock news!
There are times when I seriously wonder whether or not anyone actually thinks about these things on more than a basic level.
Of course, the vendors would throw a fit! They need to make the money, so fuck us, right? Right.
Re:Explosive (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Explosive (Score:4, Funny)
What surprises me is that the TSA scenario haven't been used in porn yet. (as far as I know.)
"Would you walk this way for a ... personal screening please."
Re:Explosive (Score:5, Funny)
What surprises me is that the TSA scenario haven't been used in porn yet. (as far as I know.)
"Would you walk this way for a ... personal screening please."
Let's crunch the numbers, shall we:
Traditional pr0n:
-House rental in Chatsworth, California
$600/day
-Pizza box prop
$9.95
TSA pr0n:
-Airport terminal rental
$21,000/day
-Background extras
$3,200/day
-Backscatter X-ray scanner rental
$17,000/day
-pr0n that looks like this:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_0MAh0_Oa3iU/TQLtweY2OuI/AAAAAAAAE00/aomwDmV6nP0/s1600/Backscatter++8.jpg [blogspot.com]
---priceless!
Re:I'll say it again.. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:non-toxic? (Score:5, Funny)
Wrong. The TSA now has "VIPR" checkpoints on the highways.
Those VIPRs aren't any big deal.
I used to bull's-eye womp rats in my T-16 back home.
Strat
Re:Explosive (Score:4, Funny)
Re:I'll say it again.. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Explosive (Score:5, Funny)
If you mean it's funny, say so. Don't use trite phrases that don't even fit.
Well played, sir!