Microsoft Plans Largest-Ever Patch Tuesday 341
CWmike writes "Microsoft said it will deliver its largest-ever number of security updates on Tuesday to fix 13 flaws in every version of Windows, as well as Internet Explorer (IE), Office, SQL Server, important developer tools and Forefront Security client software. Among the updates will be the first for the final, or release to manufacturing, code of Windows 7, Microsoft's newest operating system. The 13 updates slated for next week, eight of them pegged 'critical,' beat the previous record of 12 updates shipped in February 2007 and again in October 2008." Update Reader Kurt Seifried writes to correct the math a bit, pointing to Microsoft's Advance Notification page for the release, which says that rather than 13 flaws, this Patch Tuesday involves "13 bulletins (eight critical and five important), addressing 34 vulnerabilities ... Most of these updates require a restart so please factor that into your deployment planning."
Re:It fixes EVERY bug? (Score:3, Funny)
So it installs linux?
Yes, and kills problem users.
EVERY version of Windows? (Score:5, Funny)
Does this mean that my Windows 3.1 box will finally get the DST update?
Bad luck (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Autodestruct? (Score:3, Funny)
Nope, that doesn't require a patch; it was built into the original release ...
Re:Autodestruct? (Score:4, Funny)
Will it make every PC that uses windows ME self-destruct?
Not likely, PC's running Windows ME probably don't have the power to do more than to self fizzle at most. I would personally be impressed if they let out the smallest little puff of smoke. I think the reality would be that they just refuse to power up due to shame.
Re:It fixes EVERY bug? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Autodestruct? (Score:5, Funny)
Nope, that doesn't require a patch; it was built into the original release ...
Yup. The hard drive with ME installation will jump out from the chasis, climb the refrigerator and rub itself all over the magnets.
Re:EVERY version of Windows? (Score:2, Funny)
Does it fix Windows 7's problems? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Wring. 13 advisories with 34 issues. RTFM (Score:3, Funny)
So you are going to have to reboot more than thirty times to install this?
Nice! (Score:5, Funny)
So where are the instructions for the patch party?
Re:EVERY version of Windows? (Score:5, Funny)
No, you'll have to move to Arizona. Sorry.
I'd rather use Windows 3.1 than live in Arizona.
Restarts (Score:2, Funny)
addressing 34 vulnerabilities ... Most of these updates require a restart so please factor that into your deployment planning."
Great... 34 restarts... :P
Please patch ALL versions of Windows! (Score:4, Funny)
Or at least patches to Win2K would be nice, maybe some working timezone data.
I also would highly recommend Microsoft release patches for Windows 3.11 to fix flaws in Win32s, and perhaps add IPv6 to Wolverine (winsock 1.1 for Windows for Workgroups)
Re:EVERY version of Windows? (Score:5, Funny)
Coming from someone whose ID is Tumbleweed?
You bet. Arizona's so bad the plants evolved to get outta there!
Re:The more crap you add... (Score:3, Funny)
Wow, yeah, when you said BK, I thought I would take the initiative and get off your lawn.
Re:Long Weekend (Score:3, Funny)
You just remember that next time you come asking for clean water to drink, my friend.
Heard this one from a buddy of mine who lived in Minnesota for a few years: "How do you find a Canadian in a room full of Americans? A: Start stepping on toes. Whoever says 'sorry' is the Canadian." It's funny because it's true.