How Do IT Guys Get Respect and Not Become BOFHs? 902
An anonymous reader writes "I work for a small software company (around 60 people) as the sole IT guy. It's my first time in a position like this and after about 1.5 years I'm starting to get a bit burned out. I try to be friendly, helpful, and responsive and I get no respect whatsoever. Users tend to be flat-out rude when they have a problem, violate our pretty liberal policies constantly, and expect complex projects to be finished immediately upon requesting them. My knee-jerk reaction is to be a bastard, although I've avoided it up to this point. It's getting harder. For those of you who have been doing this a lot longer, how do you get a reasonable level of respect from your users while not being a jerk?"
lmgtfy (Score:5, Funny)
How do I get a reasonable level of respect? (Score:5, Funny)
finish complex projects immediately upon them requesting.
Don't avoid it! (Score:5, Funny)
Take pride in being the BOFH. Lusers need to be kept in check. Blog about how you've made their lives miserable.
You want the truth? (Score:5, Funny)
If something was working yesterday and it isn't working today, you broke it.
For example, email. Why does email go down? Why? What's so hard about running a mail server? It was working yesterday, I come in this morning, it's not working.. what did you do? Don't say you did nothing, you did. It was working. You stuck your grubby little paws in there and messed with it, didn't you? Fix it.
You can't handle the truth.
Re:How do I get a reasonable level of respect? (Score:5, Funny)
I try to be friendly, helpful, and responsive
I think we found the problem here!
Re:Huh? (Score:4, Funny)
middle management.
Don't do what I did! (Score:5, Funny)
--
My parents went to slashdot and all I got was this lousy sig!
Re:How do I get a reasonable level of respect? (Score:5, Funny)
Either that or fuck the boss's hot 18-year-old daughter.
Um... you must be new here. This is slashdot.
If I manage to stammer a coherent sentence to a hot daughter, it has never resulted in sex. ...just violence ..from her father.
I do manage to get some amusing facial expressions with the ew...yuck.
Re:lmgtfy (Score:5, Funny)
And if they don't get the hint, try this [justfuckinggoogleit.com] less subtle one.
Re:How do I get a reasonable level of respect? (Score:3, Funny)
Could be worse, it could have resulted in sex... from her father.
Re:How do I get a reasonable level of respect? (Score:5, Funny)
I find multiplying the time estimate by Pi gives a more realistic looking number... :)
Re:Try the slow down method (Score:3, Funny)
Even easier, just tell them its under consideration (Meaning:I have lost the job details).
If they ask again its under active consideration.(I have started looking for the job details).
I mean seriously they are users, they get what I damn well want to give them and nothing else.
At least I dont have to deal with programmers and developers. If I did I would invest in axe, lime and old carpet shares.
(-:
Re:Huh? (Score:4, Funny)
What happens when "middle management" applies to everyone from the CEO down to the managers?
Don't answer that. It was sarcastic. They'd fire me for it, but I was already fired. Now I have all the time in the world to work on my BOFH-isms. :)
"Hello BSA? What's the payout on an anonymous tip these days?"
"Hello DHS? What's the payout on an anonymous tip these days?"
"Hello IRS? What's the payout on an anonymous tip these days?"
"Hello FTC? What's the payout on an anonymous tip these days?"
Ahhh, we see a running trend. And one previous employer was worried about direct retaliation, either through DoS attacks, or a sniper posted within a mile of their front door (the sniper being me). I had more fun doing absolutely NOTHING to them. They were so worried about what I *could* do that they drove themselves nuts looking for my back doors, monitoring for my attacks, and watching for me behind every corner. I didn't even know this first hand. Word got back to me from other people over the years. :)
And for the record, I don't believe in back doors, because they could be a security hole while I'm there. A DoS attack just isn't worth my time. They'll always screw something up on their own, I don't have to help it along in the least. I don't believe in jail time either, so physical violence is out unless they provoke it. (i.e., show up to my house with a gun drawn, and see how long you last.)
Sometimes the best revenge is to do absolutely nothing at all. It'll leave them wondering what I'll do for years to come. :)
Re:Try the slow down method (Score:2, Funny)
I had a system for this. It was a tip jar.
If someone laughed at the tip jar and didn't drop in cash, their request went to the bottom of the pile.
If I heard change hit the jar, they were just above the other.
People got smart. If they had something that needed to be done immediately, they'd show me the cash, and I'd watch them put it in. Priority was dictated by the size of the tip. And, for those who saw my shooting range target hanging on the wall by my desk, they knew better than to pull the money back out once it went in. You can run, it just gives me time to aim. :)
I was once anonymously tipped with two airline bottles of tequila. I wish I knew who did it, they would have gotten better service for a while. It's one thing to tip me cash. It's another to bring my liquid lunch to me. :) I had a sneaky suspicion who did it, and she was always nice to me, so she got good service anyways. :) I did get informally warned about it, but all I could say was "I didn't put it there, you'll have to find who did it."
Stand over me, laugh at the tip jar, and demand it get done now? Sorry, I won't be able to get to this until next week. I have other priorities that have to get done first (like checking my personal email, reading Slashdot, taking an extended smoke break, and maybe a nap).
Re:Fuck em (Score:5, Funny)
Given your post title is "Fuck em", are you're suggesting I have sex with my users and include some spanking with it, in order to put them in their place as it were?
I'm not sure our corporate policy covers this particular situation.
Re:How do I get a reasonable level of respect? (Score:5, Funny)
Re-watch "Real Genius" and brush up on your banter:
Re:Move to a different company (Score:3, Funny)
You were babysit^Wadministrating a Windows 95 machine in 2007?! Yikes!
Re:Be firm.. (Score:5, Funny)
Be reasonable, and honest - justify and explain.
And then, if they still bother you, shoot them.
Re:lmgtfy (Score:5, Funny)
...like locking the volume on their machine at max and setting their screensaver to play "badger badger mushroom mushroom" after 30 seconds' inactivity. If anyone calls to complain, just tell them that it doesn't do that if they keep working... >:-D
Re:Be firm.. (Score:4, Funny)
Heh, I have this image of a man in a white coat with a mouse hanging round his neck, like a doctor with a stethoscope.
Then when people say "my mouse is acting a funny", he take the mouse from around his neck down and plug it in to the machine. "Hmm, seems fine with this mouse, take this". "Oh wow! So quick! You're my hero!"
Re:Fuck em (Score:2, Funny)
Exactly! Half the posts here are exactly what you said! I don't see how people just can't leave insightful comments alone and insist on parroting the good points, as if someone would read the response but not the parent!
Re:Be firm.. (Score:1, Funny)
Man, that almost makes me feel pity for Bush.
Re:Put everything in writing (Score:4, Funny)
assuming you mean to store this electronically. because i just don't have that many notepads
Re:Be firm.. (Score:5, Funny)
Nothing. Capes tend to get sucked into cooling fans.
Re:Be firm.. (Score:1, Funny)
Or worse, Little Suzi's spyware infested computer needs cleaning up yet again because the first thing she does when getting it back is install Limewire, even after being told specifically not to.
That's when I start taking personal bribes and payment (usually in gin). They always ask "wow, you like gin?" and I say "I have to drink a lot to deal with this shit without ending up on the roof with a sniper rifle. What was the question again?"
Being 'friendly' leads down a long road of obligations and no payoff. Even pizza guys get free weed or a look at some middle aged titties once in a while.
Free IT help is for sucker young punk IT guys. They can have that job.
Re:lmgtfy (Score:4, Funny)
Blocked by Websense
Re:Try the slow down method (Score:3, Funny)
I'm guessing you must work in the developing world somewhere, the Middle East or most probably India, am I right ?
Bribery might work for you in the short term but if you really want to turn your country into a viable entity able to compete with the big boys ( the EU, China, Russia ) on the world stage you need to stamp this sort of thing out and organise yourself more intelligently.
Re:Put everything in writing (Score:3, Funny)
NO.
If I reboot, and let the system run for a further 4 months, would the symptoms come back?
Then the problem didn't get fixed.
A reboot can definitely alleviate symptoms of a problem, but if it actually solves a problem, then there are more issues at play.
Fixing a problem means that it wouldn't happen in the same way again. In your example, fixing the problem means that the issues wouldn't show up after 4 months of uptime.
Definitely environmental issues could be a problem that manifests symptoms that can be alleviated with a reboot. I would look at noisy/crappy power before heat, though. If the computer is on a power conditioner/UPS, that generally eliminates issues related to power.
Re:Be firm..and good (Score:2, Funny)
Come over to the dark side... We have cookies.
But seriously, Everything and I mean EVERYTHING is in writing. If you show your frustration they win. If they show frustration you win.
And last but not least, if all else fails blame Microsoft.
Re:Don't avoid it! (Score:2, Funny)
Being a BOFH did not cost them their job, being a douche did. The key here is that the subject of both anecdotes are stepping over the line of legality and into the realm of general ass-hatery.
I'm partly a BOFH, mostly because I can't put up with people who are unable to read simple directions or *gasp* think for two seconds on their own.
Where would we be if carpenters (office workers) learned how to use their hammer (computer) for only pounding nails (day in, day out routine) and were all too afraid to *try* and use the claw side for removing a nail... ?(anything outside of clicking the handful of icons on the desktop)