Microsoft Zunes Committing Mass Suicide 785
jddeluxe writes "There are multiple reports springing up all over the internet of a mass suicide of Microsoft 30GB Zune players globally. Check Zune forums, Gizmodo, or other such sites; the reports are spreading rapidly, except apparently to the Microsoft official Zune site."
Suicide? (Score:5, Funny)
BZOD (Score:5, Funny)
Blue Zune Of Death!
3 bit years should be enough for anyone. (Score:5, Funny)
I guess they just allocated a 3 bit year, in their systems (starting year 2000). Hey who would think there would still have Zunes around b 2009.
Is this a troll? (Score:5, Funny)
30mb Zune? Micro$oft? Go back to /b/ CmdrTaco
re (Score:5, Funny)
Let me know when one commits homicide. That will be news.
Gotta hand it to MicroSoft (Score:5, Funny)
They've successfully dispelled the rumor that no own owns a Zune.
$la$hdot, your be$t $ource for tech new$ (Score:5, Funny)
Al$o I think $omeone me$$ed around with my keyboard driver$...
Re:Suicide? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Suicide? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Gotta hand it to MicroSoft (Score:5, Funny)
...and replaced it with the rumor that no one owns a *working* Zune.
I heard a song about this once... (Score:5, Funny)
You don't need no entertainment
You dont need no Zune control
No dark sarcasm on the nets
People leave them Zunes alone
Hey! people! Leave them Zunes alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.
song parody (Score:5, Funny)
but something touched me deep inside...the day the 30 gigs died
I started singing "bye, bye MS 30 gig zune"
tried to download from the zune store but the zune store was dry
and the ms fanboys were drinking whiskey and rye
the day...the 30 gigs died
Re:re (Score:3, Funny)
Designed Obsolescence (Score:5, Funny)
Designed Obsolescence.
You didn't really think they'd support this thing through 2009 did you? Oh, go back and read your EULA. It clearly states that at the start of 2009 you'll have to pay a subscription fee for you unit to continue working. You signed it in blood from the paper cut. Legally binding in hell.
Re:Real mature (Score:5, Funny)
That is a common mistake that anyone who is older then 30 years can do. Dag Nabbit, Back in my day I would have pined for a 30 megabyte music player. We had to use instruments fashioned out on animal hides and termite infested wood. Then pay from memory the music. And it never sounded as good as you remembered it.
Re:song parody (Score:4, Funny)
I see the bad Zune arising.
I see trouble on the way.
I see blue screens and crashing
I see bad times today.
Dont turn it on tonight,
Well, its bound to take its life,
Theres a bad Zune on the rise.
If you were a Zune ... (Score:2, Funny)
Would you not want to commit Suicide ?
Re:Suicide? Really? (Score:3, Funny)
Ah, antifreeze. Sinfully delicious...
Zune 3.11 (Score:5, Funny)
Bailout? (Score:5, Funny)
"No one will buy our products ever since the Zune Fiasco! Give us money! WA WA WA!"
Re:Real mature (Score:3, Funny)
You ate a McDonald's Big Mac once. It's well known that their minimum wage employees occasionally jack off into the secret sauce. So it's perfectly fair to call you a cum guzzling jiz mop.
Re:How do I know it's dying.. (Score:5, Funny)
Then you must cut the one ring from Sauron's hand, carry it to the fire of Mt. Doom and cast it into the cauldron.
Re:The Fix (Score:5, Funny)
And all accross this great nation of ours countless tiny screws are getting lost in the carpet.
New Trademark (Score:3, Funny)
In the meantime in Redmond... (Score:5, Funny)
...people see Zunes commiting suicide by flying out from Ballmer's office.
Re:Value did get lost :( (Score:2, Funny)
Leap year bug? (Score:2, Funny)
They are all fine! (Score:4, Funny)
The fact that it doesn't load UI and doesn't play music doesn't mean they aren't working perfectly fine. Apparently, they just gained sentience.
Re:Real mature (Score:3, Funny)
It's already kind of lame when someone spells it M$ or Micro$oft in a comment but... in the summary? Childish much?
My apologies for offending your employer. Speaking of childish antics, I wonder if Steve Ballmer got a new chair for Christmas?
Re:Real mature (Score:5, Funny)
You had wood? Spoiled kid.
Are you kidding? When I was a kid I had wood constantly. Now that I'm [much] older I can only dream...
Re:Checked Google Trends lately? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Real mature (Score:5, Funny)
Then pay from memory the music.
I believe you are mistaken. To my knowledge, it is still free to remember music, but the RIAA is working with the US government to close this so-called 'neural hole'. They're really just looking after the good of the artists. Really.
Re:'Committed Suicide?' (Score:4, Funny)
It might be the DRM code, in which case "suicide" is appropriate.
Re:BZOD (Score:2, Funny)
So instead of saying it's a brick, we can now officially call it a turd?
DRMfail (Score:3, Funny)
I sooo hope this is related to the DRM on the device. That would totally make my day/year, as well as that of every other anti-DRM person.
Re:BZOD (Score:5, Funny)
Re:It's a firmware bug. (Score:3, Funny)
You bought two zunes?
Re:NOT Zune 3.11 (Score:5, Funny)
but... Zune 3.11 for Workgroups
Re:Leap Day... (Score:5, Funny)
Just one (likely) possible cause. If that is the case it should fix its self tomorrow.
Or it could be the Zune Rapture. This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't put Marilyn Manson on it.
Y2K 8 years late? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Xbox,HD-DVD,Zune...Anyone Admit To Owning All 3 (Score:5, Funny)
Every time I hear the name "Zune", for some reason I look around for sandworms [wikipedia.org].
Re:Suicide? (Score:5, Funny)
I think you can get a few bucks for the iPod.
Maybe even enough to buy a decent mp3 player!
Re:Real mature (Score:1, Funny)
there are only 10 types of people in the world, those who get binary and
9 others that I don't care about.
Good thing I've conditioned myself to press the preview button, or I'd have to come up with some witty reply to myself explaining why I forgot to check the AC box.
Re:Real mature (Score:1, Funny)
In Soviet Russia, joke tells YOU!
Re:Leap Day... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:The Fix (Score:3, Funny)
You are overestimating the amount of zune users out there...
Oblig. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:In the meantime in Redmond... (Score:2, Funny)
Zunes are born from Ballmer's orifice. And people wonder why they're brown.
Re:Suicide? (Score:2, Funny)
Score: -1, MS Fanboy
Re:Article summary (Score:3, Funny)
Wait. You're implying that they sometimes do read the entries?
Re:Suicide? (Score:3, Funny)
Score: +5, Apple Hater
Re:Real mature (Score:3, Funny)
I hear Bill got him a few throw pillows for the sofa.
Re:Xbox,HD-DVD,Zune...Anyone Admit To Owning All 3 (Score:3, Funny)
Worst Console Ever.
Dead Movie Format
and a dead 'iPod killer' with a stupid brand name
It's hilarious in a pathetic sort of way to know there are huge numbers of diehard Microsoft fanboys out there who are actually dumb enough to own all three of those Microsoft turds.
If you're looking for a company with a history of failed product launches, look instead to Sony. With their sudden success with Blu-ray, I'm starting to think there's a chance the Cubs might win the World Series.
All thosr MP3 will be lost... (Score:3, Funny)
...like tears in rain.
Re:Suicide? (Score:5, Funny)
Unless he invested that $300 in stocks, then he might be double screwed.
Re:Suicide? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Real mature (Score:5, Funny)
For my next trick, there are only 10 types of people in the world, those who get binary and those who..."
... get laid?
Re:3 bit years should be enough for anyone. (Score:1, Funny)
"Microsoft release the Millennium Bug after 8 year delay"
Re:Real mature (Score:3, Funny)
It's too bad you couldn't simultaneously make that joke and put yourself on the right side of the comparison....
Re:Suicide? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Suicide? (Score:3, Funny)
In addition, it loses value over time. So if he bought a zune for $50 dollars and it comes broken breaks right away, $50 lost(assuming for some reason it cannot be returned or exchanged). But if it works for 2 years and he expected about the same amount of usage, then nothing lost. His $50 was put into use.
WARNING! Car analogy: WARNING! I buy a car for $1000 (so not a good car, shut up it is a car analogy). I use the car for a year and sell it for less than the original value, say I get $750. Did I lose $250 dollars or use $250 to have a working car for a year?
You should've leased that car. For $250/month, you could've had a much sweeter ride. (Sure, you'd have defaulted after that one month...but what a month!)
Re:Leap Day... (Score:3, Funny)
Zune Rapture! Outstanding! One free internet for you.
Sheldon
Re:BZOD (Score:2, Funny)
That requires two Zunes getting close enough to transfer the virus. What's the likelihood of that? And then getting close to other Zunes for this to spread as much as it has?
Hrm.
Re:3 bit years should be enough for anyone. (Score:3, Funny)
Time Quarks? Up, down, top, bottom, sex-appeal and peppermint?
Re:Suicide? (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Open Source Hardware (Score:3, Funny)
If you follow that logic... boarding a jet liner would freak you out.
Does it?
Re:LOL, Retard (Score:3, Funny)
I used to think that, but then I came back.
Re:BZOD (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Value did get lost :( (Score:3, Funny)
looks like it has had -zero- impact on the share price
Kind of like the Zune in the first place?
Re:Microsoft official fix: drain battery. Really (Score:2, Funny)
Look at the bright side: it is the fastest fix released by Microsoft. Ever.
Re:Maybe he MADE $50 (Score:3, Funny)
a brand new Ferrari for $100, and I bought it and drove it for 20 years, then one day it just vanished into thin air
Could be pretty serious if you were doing 180mph at the time...
Re:Suicide? (Score:2, Funny)