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Microsoft Zunes Committing Mass Suicide 785

Posted by CmdrTaco
from the i-bet-a-bricked-zune-is-still-warm dept.
jddeluxe writes "There are multiple reports springing up all over the internet of a mass suicide of Microsoft 30GB Zune players globally. Check Zune forums, Gizmodo, or other such sites; the reports are spreading rapidly, except apparently to the Microsoft official Zune site."
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Microsoft Zunes Committing Mass Suicide

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  • Suicide? (Score:5, Funny)

    by catbertscousin (770186) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:05AM (#26279807)
    It's a Stand Alone Complex!
    • Re:Suicide? (Score:5, Funny)

      by retyurecvb (1442035) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:11AM (#26279907)
      My Zune was among the affected. In my defense, I got it from a fire sale for 50 dollars, so either way, no big loss. Farewell, sweet PMP, you were taken from us too zune.
      • Re:Suicide? (Score:5, Insightful)

        by Poltras (680608) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:24AM (#26280073) Homepage

        Except that, if it had been a Creative Zen or an iPod, you'd still have it to play your favorite music. No big loss? Come on... You now HAVE to buy a new one.

        And here's to Microsoft recognizing the problem (they didn't yet) and fixing it.

        • Re:Suicide? (Score:5, Informative)

          by InlawBiker (1124825) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @12:21PM (#26280997)

          Mine's doing the same thing. I've used the crap out of the thing for about 18 months and it has worked flawlessly.. until now that is. This is appearing on the support site now.

          "Status: Customers with 30gb Zune devices may experience issues when booting their Zune hardware. Weâ(TM)re aware of the problem and are working to correct it. Sorry for the inconvenience, and thanks for your patience!"

          I got a 120gb iPod for Christmas so I'm watching this fiasco with a smirk. I had hoped to get a few bucks for it on ebay though.

    • by impaledsunset (1337701) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:46AM (#26280429)

      The fact that it doesn't load UI and doesn't play music doesn't mean they aren't working perfectly fine. Apparently, they just gained sentience.

  • BZOD (Score:5, Funny)

    by Subm (79417) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:06AM (#26279825)

    Blue Zune Of Death!

  • by jellomizer (103300) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:07AM (#26279829)

    I guess they just allocated a 3 bit year, in their systems (starting year 2000). Hey who would think there would still have Zunes around b 2009.

    • by Svippy (876087) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:34AM (#26280215) Homepage

      I guess they just allocated a 3 bit year, in their systems (starting year 2000). Hey who would think there would still have Zunes around b 2009.

      I think your issue may more likely be a leap year issue, with the Zune calculating the length of the year in seconds, but did not take into account that 2008 is one day longer because of 29 February.

      Which would explain why they are failing before new year's, rather than after.

  • Article summary (Score:5, Insightful)

    by phasm42 (588479) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:07AM (#26279837)

    Micro$oft 30Mb Zune

    Nice to see the editors are on the job.

    • Re:Article summary (Score:5, Insightful)

      by d3ac0n (715594) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:19AM (#26280009)

      Indeed.

      How does crap like this make it to the front page?

      Can we get an edit on the summary? Not only are there spelling mistakes, but the summary is just flat wrong about how Microsoft is reacting to the problem.

      Look, I have issues with Microsoft as much as the next geek, but this summary is just moronic and childish. Can we get a fix please?

      • Re:Article summary (Score:5, Informative)

        by k_187 (61692) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:35AM (#26280231) Journal
        You must be new here. The editors are such in name only.
      • Re:Article summary (Score:4, Insightful)

        by ari_j (90255) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @12:27PM (#26281071)
        The summary also doesn't explain what "committing suicide" means in the context of a Zune, and the headline has an exclamation point. The fix we need is moderation of front-page stories so that crap like this goes away.
        • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

          by MikeS2k (589190)

          Yeah, it's quite amazing really, even more so when the Firehose had 4-5 different submissions all based upon this story, and they chose the worst (poorly worded, factual errors, "Micro$oft", inflammatory headline) of them all!

          I do like a good MS bash every so often (stress relief from dealing with their products) but I do prefer it to be at least semi-intellectual, rather than just throwing around silly insults...

          Oh yeah, and my cheap Chinese £20 Ipod knockoff is still functioning well... plays .ogg t

  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:08AM (#26279841)

    30mb Zune? Micro$oft? Go back to /b/ CmdrTaco

  • by Enoxice (993945) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:08AM (#26279845) Journal
    ...but it doesn't tell me what's happening, sounds sensationalist, and actually uses "Micro$oft" - who types that???
    • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

      by Rary (566291)

      ...but it doesn't tell me what's happening, sounds sensationalist, and actually uses "Micro$oft" - who types that???

      It also claims that the reports are spreading to everywhere except the official Zune site, but the forums on the official Zune site have these reports as well. Apparently the article submitter would expect Microsoft to put a massive panic-filled announcement on the front page: "OH NOES TEH ZUNE$ ARE ALL TEH SUX0RZ!!!11!ELEVEN"

      Basically, a few people are having problems with one particular Zune. Some on the forum have fixed it themselves, and I couldn't help but notice that at least a few of them are refurb

  • re (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:08AM (#26279849)

    Let me know when one commits homicide. That will be news.

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by geckipede (1261408)
      You just need a few tens of thousands of them stacked together so they can use their wireless as a directional maser array. More than that would be needed against a target that takes less than 24 hours to move out of range.
  • by larry bagina (561269) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:09AM (#26279859) Journal

    They've successfully dispelled the rumor that no own owns a Zune.

  • by sundarvenkata (1214396) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:11AM (#26279887) Homepage
    I turned on my Zune (bought for 90$ last year) today morning only to find it die a sad death with the hard disk humming in the highest pitch. I do not think the hard disk will survive 3 more hours of such grueling ordeal. I feel sorry for MSFT. Best of luck, guys.
    • by Just Some Guy (3352) <kirk+slashdot@strauser.com> on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:29AM (#26280135) Homepage Journal

      I feel sorry for MSFT.

      Really? You have a broken player and they have your money, but you feel bad for them?

  • by kbrasee (1379057) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:11AM (#26279905) Homepage
    $top the pre$$e$, thi$ ju$t in -- $la$hdot ridicule$ Micro$oft!

    Al$o I think $omeone me$$ed around with my keyboard driver$...
  • by eclectro (227083) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:14AM (#26279955)

    You don't need no entertainment
    You dont need no Zune control
    No dark sarcasm on the nets
    People leave them Zunes alone
    Hey! people! Leave them Zunes alone!
    All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
    All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

  • song parody (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:14AM (#26279957)

    but something touched me deep inside...the day the 30 gigs died

    I started singing "bye, bye MS 30 gig zune"
    tried to download from the zune store but the zune store was dry
    and the ms fanboys were drinking whiskey and rye
    the day...the 30 gigs died

    • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:21AM (#26280039)

      I see the bad Zune arising.
      I see trouble on the way.
      I see blue screens and crashing
      I see bad times today.

      Dont turn it on tonight,
      Well, its bound to take its life,
      Theres a bad Zune on the rise.

  • by neo (4625) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:15AM (#26279967)

    Designed Obsolescence.

    You didn't really think they'd support this thing through 2009 did you? Oh, go back and read your EULA. It clearly states that at the start of 2009 you'll have to pay a subscription fee for you unit to continue working. You signed it in blood from the paper cut. Legally binding in hell.

    • by manekineko2 (1052430) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:54AM (#26280551)

      You joke about this, but Microsoft actually has the best track record for non-designed obsolescence among all the digital audio player manufacturers out there. When they came out with new generation Zunes, they rolled out all the updates to older generation owners as well.

      These updates were also free, unlike the updates for the iPod Touch (interesting how some companies supposedly have to charge for updates with new features under accounting rules, and others don't).

      I don't approve of a lot of things Microsoft does, but I have to say that objectively, they've been a real class act as far as supporting older Zunes goes.

  • Leap Day... (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Manip (656104) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:16AM (#26279983)

    This year has 366 days in it instead of the normal 365.

    So if you did (365-day) you could end up with -1 which might cause either a crash or freeze.

    Just one (likely) possible cause. If that is the case it should fix its self tomorrow.

  • The Fix (Score:5, Informative)

    by lhaeh (463179) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:21AM (#26280037)

    According to Herman at gizmodo, this is the solution:

    "Your zune will need a "hard reset."

    To do this, use a small screwdriver to pop off the plastic shielding where the zune cable plugs into and remove the two screws on either side of the plug. Next pop the cover off and locate the battery plug at the top left corner of the zune, using your screw driver, pop the cable connection half way off, and do this to the other plug on the right side. Wait 3 seconds, then push down the right connector and then the left battery connecter. Your zune should start up immediately. Press the backing of the zune down (make sure headphone jack is aligned) and put the screws and cover back in place.

    It's an easy process but if you're unsure don't attempt it if you think you'll screw it or something. :)"

    Not pretty, but it might help those of you who have this problem.

    According to others on the forum, it is caused by the new firmware, so you might not want to update it. Changing the clock might be a temporary fix if you want the new firmware.

    • Re:The Fix (Score:5, Informative)

      by elrous0 (869638) * on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:33AM (#26280191)
      Actually, this only works if you never connect it to your computer again. Even if you don't update your firmware, just running the Zune software causes it to wig out again (probably has something to do with the clock sync).
    • Re:The Fix (Score:5, Informative)

      by dcdruck (1442199) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:38AM (#26280295)

      According to Herman at gizmodo, this is the solution:

      "Your zune will need a "hard reset."

      To do this, use a small screwdriver to pop off the plastic shielding where the zune cable plugs into and remove the two screws on either side of the plug. Next pop the cover off and locate the battery plug at the top left corner of the zune, using your screw driver, pop the cable connection half way off, and do this to the other plug on the right side. Wait 3 seconds, then push down the right connector and then the left battery connecter. Your zune should start up immediately. Press the backing of the zune down (make sure headphone jack is aligned) and put the screws and cover back in place.

      It's an easy process but if you're unsure don't attempt it if you think you'll screw it or something. :)"

      Not pretty, but it might help those of you who have this problem.

      According to others on the forum, it is caused by the new firmware, so you might not want to update it. Changing the clock might be a temporary fix if you want the new firmware.

      According to several users in the Zune thread at Zune.net forums, even Zunes running original or other older firmware is affected.

    • Re:The Fix (Score:5, Funny)

      by eclectro (227083) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:40AM (#26280323)

      And all accross this great nation of ours countless tiny screws are getting lost in the carpet.

    • Re:The Fix (Score:4, Informative)

      by arkhan_jg (618674) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:51AM (#26280505)

      Others have reported [zunescene.mobi] that the hard-reset only works until you try to charge or sync it. Zunicide 2008!

    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      Where's the part where you sacrifice a chicken, your friend's iPod, and an Ubuntu CD?! I have been working off of the assumption that this is SOP for the MS Resurrection Ritual...it's not?! Oh...those poor Ubuntu CDs...
  • It's a firmware bug. (Score:5, Informative)

    by Lumpy (12016) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:24AM (#26280065) Homepage

    I have 2 of them. 1 for hacking the other for my daughter. Her zune locked up, I went downstairs and dug out of the box the old zune that has never been updated. Yes date and time are pretty close to accurate.

    MSFT drones mucked up the clock ocde in the firmware over the past year.

  • Firmware Problem (Score:5, Informative)

    by Kintanon (65528) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:27AM (#26280095) Homepage Journal

    Zunes with older firmwares are unaffected, a hard reset will blow away the current firmware and get your Zune working again.
    Already have the fix posted at The Tech Empire [techemperor.com]

    Whoot, go me.

  • Zune 3.11 (Score:5, Funny)

    by kbrasee (1379057) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:29AM (#26280129) Homepage
    If the Zune 3.1 firmware turns out to be the problem, then I assume the patched version will be Zune 3.11. Hey, this sounds familiar.
  • by clickclickdrone (964164) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:30AM (#26280151)
    Boy, this site has really started to slip, quality wise. The Zunes have failed, stopped working, anything but committed suicide. Jeez.
    Have to say though, I'd hate to be MS Zune support at this point - most of the staff will be off or in serious party mood, not what you need when something this big happens.
  • Bailout? (Score:5, Funny)

    by El Torico (732160) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:30AM (#26280153)
    So, how long before Microsoft has to beg to Congress for a bailout?
    "No one will buy our products ever since the Zune Fiasco! Give us money! WA WA WA!"
  • by Dwedit (232252) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:37AM (#26280261) Homepage

    http://www.google.com/trends [google.com]
    At the time I loaded the page:
        1. zune frozen
        2. reset zune
        3. zune locked up
        4. zune troubleshooting

  • by DieByWire (744043) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:41AM (#26280335)
    Played For Sure.
  • by neonux (1000992) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @11:42AM (#26280359) Homepage

    ...people see Zunes commiting suicide by flying out from Ballmer's office.

  • DRMfail (Score:3, Funny)

    by Rinisari (521266) * on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @12:00PM (#26280649) Homepage Journal

    I sooo hope this is related to the DRM on the device. That would totally make my day/year, as well as that of every other anti-DRM person.

  • by tacokill (531275) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @12:14PM (#26280869)
    It's 2008/2009, right?

    Please explain to me how Microsoft bungles such a simple thing. Do they really not test this crap or what?

    I mean, it would be one thing if it was some unknown, unforseeable bug -- but this is a fucking leap year problem. Hell, we studied that problem back when I learned Cobol. In 1991.

    So again, how does this happen this day and age? Even for Microsoft, this is so far below "acceptable" that I can't believe it happened.
  • by angelwolf71885 (1181671) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @12:22PM (#26281011)
    due to lousy programming MS cant even git the Y2K bug in the right year
  • by Alex Belits (437) * on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @01:19PM (#26281785) Homepage

    ...like tears in rain.

  • by muel (132794) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @04:38PM (#26284621)

    The big question is, why the hell does an MP3 player care about the days of the year? For some, it's as simple as having date/time info on the player, but let's not forget, the Zune is also packed with new DRM to ensure people do not abuse the Zune Pass (flat monthly fee introduced in November for unlimited tunes and some TV shows). DRM, again, is epic fail.

    Huh. Microsoft has some cool new thing they want ready by the holidays. They rush it, there's a tiny bug, and it costs the company zillions in $ and PR headaches. Familiar, much?

  • by Animats (122034) on Wednesday December 31, 2008 @10:46PM (#26288001) Homepage

    Microsoft has announced their official fix: [zune.net]

    1. Disconnect your Zune from USB and AC power sources.
    2. Because the player is frozen, its battery will drain--this is good. Wait until the battery is empty and the screen goes black. If the battery was fully charged, this might take a couple of hours.
    3. Wait until after noon GMT on January 1, 2009 (that's 7 a.m. Eastern or 4 a.m. Pacific time).
    4. Connect your Zune to either a USB port on the back or your computer or to AC power using the Zune AC Adapter and let it charge.

    Really. That's their fix.

    If you have a Zune, but haven't used it today, don't turn it on before 0000 UT 01 JAN 2009.

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