San Fran Hunts For Mystery Device On City Network 821
alphadogg writes "With costs related to a rogue network administrator's hijacking of the city's network now estimated at $1 million, city officials say they are searching for a mysterious networking device hidden somewhere on the network. The device, referred to as a 'terminal server' in court documents, appears to be a router that was installed to provide remote access to the city's Fiber WAN network, which connects municipal computer and telecommunication systems throughout the city. City officials haven't been able to log in to the device, however, because they do not have the username and password. In fact, the city's Department of Telecommunications and Information Services isn't even certain where the device is located, court filings state."
Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
Power cycle it with a city-wide EMP.
Re:MAC search (Score:5, Funny)
I'd think that a red device would be easy to spot in a server room.
to quote bash.org... (Score:5, Funny)
<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
The scene when they find the server (Score:5, Funny)
As Indy deciphered the symbols, he found the correct sequence of tiles to push. The huge stone door slowly opened. Indy grabbed a torch and headed inside. At the end of the long room, there it was on the throne: A massive server. It was archaic, and it appeared to be attached to a punch card reader. Along the sides of the room, there were two rows statutes of archers pointed at the center. Indy made his way slowly to the monitor and keyboard of the server. He brushed away the dust and hit the spacebar. The screen turned on slowly and it displayed:
SCO Server 1.0
Your license has expired. You owe use $699.
>_
Suddenly the archers rotated positions and were aimed at Indy.
"Oh boy."
Sparcstation In The Wall (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Please - It's San Francisco or simply "The City (Score:2, Funny)
Hey, at least they didn't say "Frisco".
Re:The story keeps changing. (Score:5, Funny)
I CAN find a wireless device It's called Radio direction finding, with the right gear you can do it, and I have located 802.11g devices with it. It's not hard.
so you may start calling me SUPERMAN.
Where to look... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The story keeps changing. (Score:2, Funny)
Um, that's actually an easy one-- he'd zap it with his heat ray vision and then if it stopped, he found it... if not, well-- Ooops!
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Malice and stupidity. (Score:4, Funny)
Why can't he be a bad guy AND be surrounded by morons-- you know, the old "bad guy surrounded by morons" routine...???
Re:Please - It's San Francisco or simply "The City (Score:4, Funny)
No no. "The City" is quite clearly "The City of London". And no where near San Francisco. (I wonder if they use Cisco hardware though, which might make the San Fran - Cisco more apt)
Huh? London is only about 142 miles SE from San Francisco and with a population of about 2000 people barely qualifies as a city, let alone "The City" moniker.
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
Don't forget the obligatory RED and BLUE wires. Every small black box with lone onerous blinking red LED MUST have red and blue wires. Its a rule.
Re:Simple: (Score:3, Funny)
Re:to quote bash.org... (Score:5, Funny)
He placed a rouge device (his personal property) on the SF network
My guess is it'll be next to his guyliner
Re:Malice and stupidity. (Score:5, Funny)
You mean like the VP of the United States? That has been done before.
Re:to quote bash.org... (Score:4, Funny)
What is this fascination with red devices? Should I start painting my network gear red?
Re:to quote bash.org... (Score:4, Funny)
I still don't understand why everyone keeps saying the rogue device is red.
Re:The story keeps changing. (Score:4, Funny)
City of SF Admins, if this proves to be your resolution, you owe me $150 for 1 hour of my time. Sorry, I do not bill in lower increments.
I know nobody RTFAs, but the city is spending $1 million on consultants to rebuild the network, so sorry a guy like is just too cheap for this project.
Road trip (Score:5, Funny)
There are now dozens of cars packed full of cheetos cheap laptops and foul smelling individuals travelling near, or perhaps at the speed limit, towards san francisco. They're full of people thinking the same thing, "Shit if they can't find a wired device, they sure as hell can't find a wireless one!"
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
Onerous (Score:3, Funny)
All they have to do is look for the small black box with a lone, onerous blinking red LED.
I find it difficult to understand how a blinking red LED would constitute a heavy burden.
Re:Onerous (Score:5, Funny)
it's a very big LED.
if they dont find it, I'll be a hacker holy grail (Score:2, Funny)
Re:The story keeps changing. (Score:4, Funny)
Unless your name is "Superman", there's no real way to find exactly where wireless devices are, as far as I know.
So does the blue and red spandex underwear come with the radio signal triangulation gear, or do you have to pay extra?
Q: How much should an airline pilot be paid? (Score:1, Funny)
A: When you have engine trouble at 35,000 feet, you start emptying your bank account
Routine operations takes little skill. It is the ability to revolve a crises that distinguishes an excellent employee from a mediocre one.
Re:The scene when they find the server (Score:3, Funny)
Suddenly the archers rotated positions and were aimed at Indy.
"Oh boy."
You forgot to mention the part where Indy flashes white and is replaced by Dr. Sam Beckett [wikipedia.org].
Re:Simple: (Score:3, Funny)
"Onerous?"
You mean like...I don't know, dictionaries?
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
It could be both onerous and ominous.
Re:Malice and stupidity. (Score:5, Funny)
Why can't he be a bad guy AND be surrounded by morons-- you know, the old "bad guy surrounded by morons" routine...???
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name sir. Asshole, Major Asshole!
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip Asshole!
Dark Helmet: How many asholes do we have on this ship, anyway?
[Entire bridge crew stands up and raises a hand]
Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes!
[Dark Helmet pulls his face shield down]
Dark Helmet: Keep firing, assholes!
Re:to quote bash.org... (Score:3, Funny)
Will you people please learn how to spell rogue correctly?
1. Yuo must be new here!
2. How do you know he wasn't referring to a device for applying women's makeup?
3. Transposition of two letters in a word is a common typographical error and should not be considered idiocy unless the same error is made multiple times in the same post
4. Logged in users don't have to preview before posting.
5. If you're going to be a pedant, well, the word "rogue" in your sentence should have quotes around it =P
The admin thought of this ... (Score:3, Funny)
and changed the MAC address to C0:FF:EE:C0:FF:EE
or
FE:ED:C0:ED:BA:BE ...
Just saying
Re:Simple: (Score:3, Funny)
Reminds me of a high school prank (Score:5, Funny)
The problem was, that all you had to do to get all the bells on campus to ring was to wire the loop back into the mains.
We took a clock from the darkroom in the photo lab, and ran two wires through the face plate. We then ran another strip of wire along the minute hand, so whenever the minute hand swept by a certain point on the clock every hour, it would complete the circuit for about 30 seconds and ring every bell on campus.
We then hid this contraption under a pile of wood in the attic of the wood shop. Right after convocation when I could no longer be expelled, I ran into the building and turned it on.
Apparently the bells rang off and on mysteriously for most of the next month of holiday until they managed to follow the loop and find the device. Good times.
Re:Mod Parent Up (Score:5, Funny)
Their clients, for reasons best left undisclosed, could not upgrade...Start with being 60-1600 meters below the ocean surface...
Good job, tightlips ;)
Re:to quote bash.org... (Score:4, Funny)
Of course you should. It makes it operate at faster speeds. I thought everyone knew this.
Re:Siding with the network guy (Score:3, Funny)
He may be incredibly bull-headed and lacking social self preservation techniques, but he may have been technically right.
I'm guessing he has a four digit slashdot UID!
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
/oblig bash.org quote (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
No, cool would be having the phone ring and the voice on the other end turns out to be Dennis Hopper:
Pop quiz, hotshot: your network's all screwed up! What do you do? What do you do?
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
Could it be related to this firehose [slashdot.org] entry?
Re:to quote bash.org... (Score:3, Funny)
Will you people please learn how to spell rogue correctly?
That's like lipstick on a pig.
Re:Where to look... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Please - It's San Francisco or simply "The City (Score:4, Funny)
Hissssss
Re:The story keeps changing. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Mod Parent Up (Score:5, Funny)
Their clients, for reasons best left undisclosed, could not upgrade...Start with being 60-1600 meters below the ocean surface...
Good job, tightlips ;)
I knew Atlantis was somewhere.
Re:Simple: (Score:3, Funny)
No, no, no! You have to obliterate the planet from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Didn't work in Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.
Re:MAC search (Score:4, Funny)
ITguy1: This is it.
ITguy2: It's not logged in.
ITguy3: Double check the wall plate number.
ITguy1: Yep, that's it. But nobody's logged in?
ITguy2: Pull the cable. [*yank*]
ITguy1: (on phone) That's it? Okay, good.
ITguy3: That's it? Fuck it, take the whole machine.
With that, they grabbed the whole machine and took off. Took them a day or two to figure out what was happening. The couldn't pin it on anyone, as there had been numerous log-ins on the lab machine. However, the gave us a knowing nod of the head and a shake of the finger. I do believe that they appreciated the prank, but couldn't officially say so.
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Mod Parent Up (Score:5, Funny)
When I leave, though, I'm planning on EARNING the blame I'm sure to get :)
Re:MAC search (Score:2, Funny)
Um, do what any network admin does with a rouge device.
Apply it to the cheeks and go out on the town?
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
Pay careful attention to the background music, as it will provide valuable cues on when to run.
Oh, please. Movies like that are soooooo 1990s!
In the new century we handle this sort of scenario with game techniques. You just save the current state of the world every few seconds, while sending your guy out into the field. There won't be any change in the music until it's too late for him, but then you just reload, activate all his power-ups, and go kick the red-eye'd mystery device back to where it came from.
Just be careful if the red eye is moving from side to side and you catch a glint of silver. Those guys from the sci-fi shows are trying to muscle in on our turf.
Re:Sparcstation In The Wall (Score:2, Funny)
I bet when the city finds this box, wherever it is, all it will have is one toggle switch labled "Magic / More Magic".
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
I read about a server that was in a room, and the room had some modifications done to it, and they ended up drywalling the server inside the wall (i dont know know how they did it). It ended up being like 5 years later they had no idea where this PDC signal was coming from and they had to physically follow the network cable to the computer and found it.
I found the story, kind of:
Server 54 [sun.com]
Re:Simple: (Score:4, Funny)
Or the guy defusing it is color blind
(that's why he's wearing orange pants and a lime green shirt).
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
I'm sorry, San Francisco, I'm afraid I can't let you do that.
Re:Simple: (Score:4, Funny)
Oh, good point. Now the onus is on him to explain what he meant.
Re:Mod Parent Up (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Simple: (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
The real question, though, is this: If your alternate personality made the bomb, does your present consciousness have the subliminal knowledge of which wire defuses it?
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
And because of Murphy's law the drywalled server never overheats or has downtime, unlike its well-cared-for counterparts.
Re:Anyone taking bets? (Score:3, Funny)
$30 it's the boss's desktop machine.
Marx Brothers of network admin: whats the passwd (Score:3, Funny)
Cheeky: What's the password ... ...
Dildo: Yeah, that's what I said, what's the password
Bobo: Why are you asking me, I'm asking you
Cheeky: You're asking who?
Dildo: Hu doesn't know
Hilarity ensues??
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
For the love of God, Montressor!
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
Because I'm a fucking dumbass and didn't think about it....
Re:Simple: (Score:3, Funny)
Maybe he knew you'd know, and he spent all day thinking about the wrong wire.
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
With a username like "Lord Apathy", I'm guessing he isn't being paid enough to care that much.
Re:Simple: (Score:4, Funny)
Are you waiting for someone to disagree with you? ;-)
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
Modern rouge networked devices don't have red and blue wires. They vibrate. Usually it's someone's electric razor connected to the network, but ever once in a while, it's a dildo with an IP address.
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
Because I'm a fucking dumbass and didn't think about it....
You should apply for a job at the San Francisco IT department. I hear they are short an incompetent network administrator.
Re:Simple: (Score:4, Funny)
If you're really lazy, you could also unplug their network cables and see what breaks... :P
I figured that once I yanked them out of the racks we would see who bitched first then we would know.
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
With a username like "Lord Apathy", I'm guessing he isn't being paid enough to care that much
And you would be correct.
Traceroute ? (Score:4, Funny)
I must be missing some key information here, but if the thing has an IP address, they should be able to track it down to the nearest router/switch and follow the cabling, no ? It's not like the thing is sitting in some guy's closet.
Re:Simple: (Score:3, Funny)
No, it sounds like they have plenty of those. They got rid of the competent guy, remember...
Re:Simple: (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Mod Parent Up (Score:5, Funny)
Old joke, many variants:
The new _____ finds a note from his predecessor: "There are two envelopes in the upper drawer. When you are in trouble for the first time, open the first envelope. When you are in a big trouble for the second time, open the second envelope." In a couple of years he got into trouble, opened the first envelope he got from his predecessor and read: "Blame everything on me." He did so and got out of trouble. A couple years later he got into a big trouble again and opened the second envelope. It said: "Prepare two envelopes..."
Re:Simple: (Score:5, Funny)
That's enough verbal onanism for one day.
What's in a name (Score:3, Funny)
Because I'm a...dumbass and didn't think about it....
Or could it be that you just didn't care, Lord Apathy?
db
Re:Simple: (Score:4, Funny)
Because I'm a fucking dumbass and didn't think about it....
Finally, proof that slashdot helps you at work! I'll redouble my efforts at spending time on this site during work hours
Re:Simple: (Score:3, Funny)
So you have writing Slashdot posts on your list then?
Re:Simple: (Score:1, Funny)
No, it's in San Francisco--it'll start singing show tunes.
And before anyone gets too pushed out of shape, I'm a third-generation SF native.