Denon's $499 Ethernet Cable

Guysmiley777 writes with what looks like a very late (or very, very early) April Fool's joke: "Denon's $499 Ethernet cable 'brings out all the nuances in digital audio reproduction.' Sure, that seems plausible. After all, nuances in digital signals are so subtle. Oh, and 'signal directional markings are provided for optimum signal transfer.'" Considering that $499 will get you a competent laptop these days, I wonder how big the market is for such a thing — then I look at Stereophile magazine's annual list of recommended components. The "view more images" link shows that they take cable porn seriously at Denon.

It's worth every penny

[Marcion]

...until your cat chews through it.

Ah well, there is a mug born every minute. I start selling $500 USB cables, anyone want one?

A fool and his money

[Anonymous Coward]

Usually fail to make first post.

Cthulhu

[Frosty Piss]

Cable porn. Is that a sub category of tentacle porn? A giant Cthulhu-like monster made of Cat-5?

What happens when everything is wireless?

[linzeal]

Will they try selling us higher quality air to shoot the EM signals through?

Re:What happens when everything is wireless?

[JDHannan]

something has to connect to the wireless transmitter and receiver! And I'm ready to sell that something for $500!

Hey, there's a market for this

[Skee09]

What's the point of using an $800 HDMI cable to connect my media center PC to my HDTV if the content I'm streaming over my network isn't in the high fidelity I can only get with this $499 Ethernet cable?

There is more

[gotw]

While they're at it they should just purchase this wonderful device to demagentize your CD's [6moons.com].

Re:Audiophools

[hack slash]

You have just described every collector of Star Wars action figures.

What a Brilliant Technical Innovation

[OzTech]

These cable will be a great leap forward for Digital Audio.

The arrows to indicate direction will mean that the Electrons wont have to look around before knowing which way they are supposed to be moving. This will allow them to get to their destination quicker and even take a moment to go back and get any stragglers who can't keep up. The end result being that all of the electrons will arrive at the intended destination and as you can imagine this will mean a much better signal.

The next generation of these will probably contain filters to stop those pesky noise electrons making their way down the cable. This will really help the signal to noise ratio, although the commercial development of this is still a little way off yet.

Re:It's worth every penny

[sakusha]

..or until you pull the end through a snarl of cables and the plastic tab breaks off.

Re:Cthulhu

[cthulu_mt]

I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Re:datasheet

[ozamosi]

So a huge markup for a very small piece of tin foil and some cloth. Whee!

That makes you think... How about high fidelity tin foil hats?

Re:datasheet

[sjf]

You're forgetting the signal direction markings: who knew that electrical signals could read ?
I know that before I put little arrows on my cat5 a lot of my ethernet packets were getting lost.

Now I'm going to see if I can do traffic shaping by putting "Slashdot, this way ->" on them.

Compatibility?

[Sponge Bath]

The PDF user's manual does not specify if works with my 1975 Sears all-in-one turntable, tuner and 8-track console.
You can't find that kind of fidelity anymore, at any price.

Re:What happens when everything is wireless?

[mikael]

Will they try selling us higher quality air to shoot the EM signals through?

We Introduce our latest product, the Acme professional EF signal booster. Scientific studies have proven that high humidity levels reduce signal quality of EM signals. After years of painstaking research, our scientists have designed and patented a foolproof system for maximising the quality of EM signals within a internal area. Using our patented process of filtering the air molecules within a building, our system removes all impurities and excess humidity that would reduce the quality of EM signals in your building. Our system also reshapes the air molecules as well as adding specially designed EM friendly molecules which guarantee that your electronic equipment will always receive and transmit the highest quality EM signals wherever you are.

Our system is available for immediate purchase. Just visit our website and select the number of filtering units that you require (ideally one unit should cover every 20 square metres, or one unit per corner of a room), and your order will be despatched within 24 hours.

Signal directional markings

[Myria]

Additionally, signal directional markings are provided for optimum signal transfer.

That statement is quite correct. The plugs have arrows pointing in both directions.

Re:Audiophiles

[belmolis]

Oh, yes, please! Only a high-quality wooden volume control can convey the subtle warmth of audio amplified by vacuum tubes. :)

Re:datasheet

[sjf]

Oh God no. You'll just have greater clarity in the upper octaves and your porn will be more nuanced.

Re:...This got greenlit?

[erudified]

Man, maybe I'm a terrible person, but I absolutely love these kinda scams.

Every time I see something like this, I really wish I'd thought of it.

Re:Wow.

[mikael]

One branch of ComputerWorld used to sell boxes of 10 3.5" pre-formatted floppy disks for 100 pounds/box. This particular branch was next to an oil company headquarters.

Re:Audiophiles

[gardyloo]

Perhaps. What's it go to?

Re:Free with Vista Ultimate.

[Anonymous Coward]

Twitter linking to a page on Twitter? I need to sit down for a moment after that.

Re:What happens when everything is wireless?

[DarkOx]

Not EM, but I let me take a crack at the audio/air biz.

Are you looking to recreat the concert experience at home? Have you already asembled the stero system proffessionals dream of but can't understand why it still just won't sound like its live? The problem is the air in your home. Sound waves propogate through air from the speaker to your air differently depending on the exact chemical make up of the air. If you really want your live recordings to have that same special POP you heard at the concert you need to recreate the air. For only $500 our company can have a air delivered to your home form all major us cities representive of almost any time of day! You can finally recreate that perfect sonic experience you enjoyed at the club last year. Once our custom built to preserve, air canister arrives all you need to do is open the easily turn valve and you can immediatly start enjoying more prefect reporductions of live concerts! Its that easy!

Still need that little extra? Well we also have special modifier canisters availible, that can be added to your order for only a small additional cost. These include botique air qualites such as smoke, and stale beer, which can also subtly change the way sound waves porogate and may be requried for the ideal experince. Stop trying to play your recorded sound into a medium it was never ment to be played in, start enjoying your recordings in the air they were ment for today!

Confession:

[regular_gonzalez]

I actually own one of these. Unfortunately it got bent and now some of the 1s get stuck because they don't slide through the bent area as easily as the 0s :(

Now I think I've seen it all...

[analog_line]

Additionally, signal directional markings are provided for optimum signal transfer.

The first ethernet cable ever with racing stripes.

Someone PLEASE tell me that this is a huge joke.

Re:Cthulhu

[spazdor]

OK, I'm invoking Rule 34. Provide links.

Re:Cthulhu

[Nullav]

Would those be Monster cables, by any chance?

I've figured out the "exclusive difference"...

[Chmarr]

They're not wiring the cable using EIA-568...

If you go to "other pictures" and then the "inside" view, see how they're connecting the cable pairs to the connector: rather than the green pair going to pins 3 and 6 (as per normal EIA-568), they're going to pins 5 and 6.

That will actually reduce crosstalk the tiniest of smidgins (that's a technical term!).

Now, of course, it's MORE likely just a non-impeccable representation, and they ARE wiring it up using normal EIA-568... but wouldn't it be funny if that's the difference they're claiming is "all worth it". Geez... for $500, they could have just commissioned AMP or Foxconn to make a custom connector for them, no?

Re:There is more

[jbrader]

Oh man that's really classic. It says that tiny iron particles in your CDs get spun inside the player and create tiny electric fields that interfere with your gear. Awsome. I'm pretty sure that a person's electrical field is many, many times larger than any field produced this way. That's right all you audiophiles, if you leave the room your music will sound better than ever.

Re:...This got greenlit?

[maxume]

You could always start selling cables that cost $599.

How could they *not* be better?

Re:It's worth every penny

[Blakey Rat]

My audio cables are temporally-shielded to prevent interference caused by the EM wake of time travelers. A steal at only $800. An inch.

Re:Cthulhu

[Oktober Sunset]

A giant Cthulhu-like monster made of Cat-5?

I think you just described what's behind my desk.

Re:Signal directional markings

[symbolset]

How else would the signal know it was supposed to traverse the cable lengthwise, rather than crosswise?

At the very least...

[Nullav]

It is a pretty shade of blue. :o

Re:It's worth every penny

[You ain't seen me!]

I start selling $500 USB cables, anyone want one?

I'll buy one - just tell me it will it make my 1.1 ports run at 480Mb/s.

I'll also buy one of the $499 UTP cables - I'm sure it will make my 640x320 100Kb/s divx films look great on the 50inch Plasma TV.

Re:It's worth every penny

[Usquebaugh]

In free advertising for Denon

1 Advertise cable with crazy price
2 Post story to /.
3 Hordes click to laugh
4 Some buy other cables
5 $$$

Re:It's worth every penny

[fm6]

So, you just secure it in place with duct tape. And for that, you want high fidelity duct tape...

Re:It's worth every penny

[donguru]

There is, however, a significant difference between using two point and four point barbed wire for speaker cables. Per http://www.tinaja.com/glib/marcia.pdf [tinaja.com]

Re:What happens when everything is wireless?

[7 digits]

Well, I am somewhat disappointed: you could at least have tried to sell hot air...

they are amazing

[speedtux]

I'm an audiophile, and I have to tell you, these cables are AMAZING. They bring out nuances in the sound that you never knew were there. Listen to a recording of the Brandenburg Concertos in the classic 1972 vinyl recording with the Berlin Philharmonica, and you'll swear you're sitting there with Christian Ludwig right in the room, hearing his every borborygmus and flatus. These cables are so subtle that they even allow you to separate the overtones from the bass notes of his snart! And the Goldberg Variations with Glenn Gould... just breathtaking. You hear every note he sings (and the piano is pretty good, too).

Usability is great, too: you'll never spend half an hour wondering which way to plug these things in, since the marking on them finally make it clear that it doesn't matter; now, why didn't anybody think of that before?

If you're an audio professional, these cables will pay for themselves in a week. And if you're a serious amateur, they'll give you an audio experience you won't soon forget.

(-; for the humor impaired)

Re:It's worth every penny

[niko9]

Don't laugh.

Check this out: http://www.gizmodo.com.au/2008/03/300_audiophile_grade_power_cable_is_really_worth_15-2.html [gizmodo.com.au]

And the actual thread at Head-Fi: http://www.head-fi.org/forums/f21/my-cat-tore-up-my-virtual-dynamics-power-3-a-293165/ [head-fi.org]

What's surprising about this is some of the comments made by the company rep.

Re:...This got greenlit?

[maxume]

I store them in gold lined boxes to prevent space radiation from degrading them.

Also, they are manufactured in harmony with the orbit of the moon, so the lunar cycle does not impact the quality of audio fed over them.

Finally, the meteoric metal mixed into the alloy used for the cables gives them the power of the universe, preventing them from aging.

Re:Audiophiles

[amRadioHed]

I can sell you some stickers for $800 which will allow your knobs to go to whatever number you wish. Even 12.

Re:It's worth every penny

[markov_chain]

I'll buy one - just tell me it will it make my 1.1 ports run at 480Mb/s.

It will make your 1.1 ports run at 480Mb/s. *holds out hand*

Re:datasheet

[wt29]

Just make sure you use packets with lots of "1"s - those porky little "0"s tend to rotate sideways and get stuck in the wire... Especially if you don't have the direction markings on the cable.

Re:It's worth every penny

[flappinbooger]

I bet it has something to do with the nature of the cable. It is probably the twisted pairs. They are hand twisted by hot 6 foot tall blond virgins with phd degrees.

That way you're guaranteed the best and most precise twistiness for your twisted pairs.

See, they don't tell you that in the ad because it's a trade secret. The other cables are just twisted by a machine or something, thus the mundane pricing.

Re:...This got greenlit?

[amRadioHed]

Damnit. I forgot about the moon. Back to the drawing board...

Re:There is more

[Guppy06]

The best part are the pics that show the guy's room. The only time a woman sees that room is when his mother comes down to do the laundry.

Re:Confession:

[Agripa]

That is nothing. I was running a token passing protocol over one of these cables and one end pulled out allowing the token to fall out on the floor. I still have not found it.

Re:It's worth every penny

[Robber Baron]

I bet it has something to do with the nature of the cable. It is probably the twisted pairs. They are hand twisted by hot 6 foot tall blond virgins with phd degrees.

That way you're guaranteed the best and most precise twistiness for your twisted pairs.

See, they don't tell you that in the ad because it's a trade secret. The other cables are just twisted by a machine or something, thus the mundane pricing.

Even if they were twisted out of 6 foot tall blond virgins' pubic hair, it's still not worth it!

Re:It's worth every penny

[Anonymous Coward]

That's not right. One of the steps is supposed to be:

???

Re:It's worth every penny

[SMS_Design]

No, I'm saving up for a gold-plated toilet.

Gold plated? Peasant.

Re:It's worth every penny

[ShieldW0lf]

Dude, you're missing the point. You hang iPods off the end of them, then hang them on your rear view mirror, like fuzzy dice. It's geek bling.

Read the Amazon reviews, they're hilarious

[John Jorsett]

It gets me closer to the Lord [amazon.com]:

If I could use a rusty boxcutter to carve a new orifice in my body that's compatible with this link cable, I would already be doing it. I can just imagine the pure musical goodness that would flow through this cable into the wound and fill me completely -- like white, holy light. Holding this cable in my hands actually makes me feel that much closer to the Lord Jesus Christ. I only make $6.25/hr at Jack In The Box, but I saved up for three months so I could have this cable. It sits in a shrine I constructed next to my futon in Mother's basement.

I only gave it four stars in my review because I can't find music that is worthy enough to flow through this utterly perfect interconnect.

Disappointing quality [amazon.com]

I was disappointed. I consider myself an audiophile - I regularly spend over $1000 on cables to get the ultimate sound. I keep my music-listening room in a Faraday cage to prevent any interference that could alter my music-listening experience. Sending any signal down ordinary copper can degrade the signal considerably. While ordinary listeners might not notice, to somebody with even a rudimentary knowledge of sound, the artifacts are glaring. Denon should have used silver wiring (hermetically sealed inside the rubber sheath to prevent any tarnishing, of course), which has a significantly higher conductivity than copper. Furthermore, Denon needs to treat the wires they use in the cable with a polarity inductor to ensure minimal phase variance.

Needless to say, I returned the cable and wrote an angry letter to the so-called engineers at Denon.

Re:A fool and his money

[therufus]

If you had one of these cables in question, I'm sure you could post a comment next year and still get first post. The cable transmits bits so fast, they actually go back in time.

$500 cable = first post all the time :)

Re:It's worth every penny

[TechForensics]

Hey, don't joke! This is dead serious! Take a look at this note from the designer of the Tesla Cable series:

On the dawn of discovery I was hoping to develop cables that would be small, light and flexible while maintaining the same levels of performance obtained in our X2 Series cables. What I was not prepared for was the break-through that would become the TESLA Series. After a long trial and error process in developing an electromagnetic lens geometry we arrived at what would become the TESLA Tricon in the summer of 2006. I remember in vivid detail that afternoon when I first connected two interconnects comprised of two TESLA Tricon geometries in parallel, (now the Precision Reference) and listened to a recording I've been using since 1995. Fifteen seconds into the first track I shot up and ran from my listening chair to find Eliott (my co-developer in the TESLA Series). I could not believe my ears and wanted to find out if something had been changed in our system that I was not aware of, (we love to tweak our system and I needed to know if he had changed something). What I heard was unbelievable! The sound stage had moved out so far past the boundaries of our listening room that I suspected a major change had been made to our listening room's acoustics. Furthermore, I was hearing subtle and not so subtle details and frequency extension from bottom to top that I've never before heard from this recording. The truly amazing thing was that this detail and signal speed was presented in a way that was also much more musical than it had been before. By comparison the sound we had been making was grainy, opaque, spatially compressed and slow with ill-defined bass. Now the sound was HUGE with amazing air that seemed to decay into infinity. The sound had a transparent "see through" quality and was absolutely effortless and grain free. The sound stage had also moved back several feet except when instruments were recorded front and center and these were presented further forward than before. I was beginning to realize that every cable I or anyone else had ever developed was spatially compressed- vertically, laterally, and horizontally. I was also hearing images in a near 360-degree sound field that "wrapped" around my listening chair. Before the Tricon we had hints of this envelopment but never to such an extent. Lastly low frequencies, (a long time virtue of Synergistic Research cables) were now tighter and went deeper with amazing power and control. This was major improvement in an area that I did not think could be improved upon.

Sort of opens your eyes, doesn't it?

Re:Is ALL Denon suspect?

[Xyrus]

Dear Friend,

You should be aware that clues are classified as dangerous, and should only be used by trained professionals.

The training to use clues is fairly rigorous and intense, and therefore few of the general public actually have clues.

In fact, GWB has been a great forward thinker in this regard. The actions of his administration, along with help of the media conglomerates have almost eliminated the threat of untrained civilians accidentally stumbling upon, obtaining, or using clues.

We must be ever vigilant in this matter, as clues are direct threat to our way of life. It may be hard to stop getting clues once you start, but think of your family and loved ones. They will help you through this trying and difficult time.

Be aware that there are groups and individuals out there who knowingly distribute clues. They can be family members or friends. They may even be in our schools, despite our best efforts to eliminate clues before children get them.

If you suspect someone of having a clue, here are some warning signs to look out for:

1. Strange behavior, such as exhibiting common sense or disagreeing with a News personality.

2. A peculiar need for facts.

3. Indifference to important events, such as who is currently winning American Idol.

If you, or someone you know has a clue, you should contact the Clue Crisis Center immediately. The people there are trained professionals and will be able to handle clues appropriately. Clues can spread quickly, without warning, and may cause sudden outbreaks of common sense if left untreated so speed is of the essence, especially if you may have come in contact with a clue recently.

Once again I thank you for your support in this matter as a patriotic American. This is a War On Clues, and for the sake of our country we must be victorious.

Sincerely,
The Department of Homeland Ignorance

Re:This is the closest I could think of...

[spazdor]

Henry Ford? Is that you?

(both links go to 'black' ;)

Re:It's worth every penny

[Anonymous Coward]

Didn't you even look at the diagrams? The tab is inset.

That's what the extra $498 is for.

Re:There is more

[Alsee]

They work great on harddrive music collections too!

I was playing John Cage's classic 4'33, and the the audio reproduction has never been more perfect!

-

Re:Nope, no typo, just a thinko :)

[GumphMaster]

Curiously though, they'll only ship this cable within the US because either:

• Only US residents are stupid enough to part with this amount of cash for common or garden variety twisted pair (which I seriously doubt), or
• The cable needs to be specially counter-wound for use in the southern or eastern hemispheres. Even a casual inspection shows that the electrons need to be up-down corrected for the south, and self-censored for the Chinese market.

Re:empoying?

[Anonymous Coward]

The price is obviously a typo as well. It should read $4.99.

Re:Audiophiles

[Alsee]

I want my knobs to go to Pi.
I know, it's an irrational desire.

-

Re:It's worth every penny

[plasmacutter]

No, I'm saving up for a gold-plated toilet.

Gold plated? you cheap bastard!

Re:It's worth every penny

[spike1]

called Sven

Re:Free with Vista Ultimate.

[Bloater]

Don't forget "RAM Doubling driver" - $49

Re:Nope, no typo, just a thinko :)

[WGFCrafty]

The comments are great too.

M. Anderson says: Don't buy these cables. Gold and silver are not good enough. If you're a serious audophile, superconducting cuprate-perovskite ceramic materials cooled to 60 kelvin is what your after. My MP3 collection never sounded better.

Dollar/pound rate

[Alain Williams]

Gosh - I hadn't realised that the dollar had fallen that far recently!

Re:Nope, no typo, just a thinko :)

[knutkracker]

Tags amazon customers have associated with this product:

• snake oil (91)
• waste of money (62)
• ripoff (61)
• unconscionable (54)
• throwing your money away (52)
• stupid (48)
• pure garbage (28)
• cheat (25)
• immoral (20)
• denon (10)
• harry potter (6)

WTF? I can't even think of a stupid reason for tagging this 'Harry Potter', let alone a serious one.

Re:Nope, no typo, just a thinko :)

[LordVader717]

From the Amazon Customers Review:

A caution to people buying these: if you do not follow the "directional markings" on the cables, your music will play backwards.

ROFL

$2 Spell Check

[eples]

Directly from the Denon webpage:

Attention to detail when building this cable was used by empoying high quality insulation, tin-bearing alloy shielding ...

They should have enough money to "empoy" some better writers at those prices.

You just don't undertand. Here is the real science

[earthling1023]

As previous poster remarked, real amateurs! Here is The Real Stuff for a True Enthusiast, very professionally explained, with a good deal of scientific details: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlkD7HNpBP8 [youtube.com] And don't forget about a good power cable - it is essential for high quality sound: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rK02rrp4jIA [youtube.com] I am going to get a couple of power cables. One for my washing machine, it should improve color depth, which is obvious. The other one for the fridge, it should keep products fresher longer. I also _beleive_, that it may prevent cross-contamination of tomatoes by salmonella particles from fish. Beware of fakes though: http://www.audiojunkies.com/blog/1197/virtual-dynamics-power-3-2000-profit-margin [audiojunkies.com]. Now, my tommy hurts and eyes are wet. Must be those cross-contaminated tomatoes..

Re:Audiophiles

[cathector]

.. but the experience is transcendent.