How Spam Was Done 70 Years Ago

bitrex writes "Modern Mechanix recently ran a reprint of a 1934 article describing the problem of offshore pirate radio stations broadcasting advertisements and drowning out local, licensed radio programs. 'The primary purpose of the unlicensed broadcast station was to advertise the gambling, liquor, and other dubious pleasure activities of the ship upon which it was built ... they found other sundry rackets, such as a fortune telling program ... After numerous unsuccessful attempts of a local nature, the floating broadcasting establishment was silenced, but only after the state department at Washington, D. C, had made diplomatic representations which forced a Central American country to cancel the ship's registry.' The article also has a great artist's conception of what might be called a machine age 'data haven' bobbing in international waters in the Gulf of Mexico."

Bender Radio

[eldavojohn]

The primary purpose of the unlicensed broadcast station was to advertise the gambling, liquor, and other dubious pleasure activities ...

Fine, I don't need the FCC! I'm going to start my own radio station ... with blackjack ... and hookers. In fact, forget the radio station!

Learned something

[techpawn]

I guess that gives a literal meaning to the term "pirate radio" eh?

I liked the ads in the sidebars

[JoeD]

"New Deal Government Jobs!"

I want me one of them.

The Future of SPAM?

[Mickyfin613]

As per Futurama - In the future, SPAM will be broadcast directly into our dreams. "That's awful!" says Fry. "It's like brainwashing." "Didn't you have ads in the 20th century?" asks Leela. "Not in our dreams!" replies Fry. "Only on TV and radio. And in magazines. And movies. And at ballgames. And on buses. And milk cartons. And t-shirts. And bananas. And written on the sky. But not in dreams! No sirree!"

dubious?

[Quiet_Desperation]

gambling, liquor, and other dubious pleasures

There's nothing dubious about them.

Re:Bender Radio

[stormguard2099]

Lern th quote

eh, screw the whole thing

Re:dubious?

[UncHellMatt]

Yes, but can you imagine what spam could be like back then, if combined with current methods?

"L00k at th3se Ankl3s!"
"H4wt babe shoz her SH0ULDER!"
"Get UR sn4k3 0ilz heer. CH3APZ!"

We Didn't Start The Fire

[davidwr]

With apologies to Billy Joel [teacheroz.com]

Green Cards [wikipedia.org], Spamford [wikipedia.org], Snake Oil [wikipedia.org], these guys [modernmechanix.com],
Michael Lindsay [spamhaus.org], Nigeria [fbi.gov], Get Rich Quick Today [wikipedia.org].

CHORUS
We didn't start the fire...

Re:Gulf of Mexico?

[Yvanhoe]

This is the new Piracy. Spammers of the Spanish Main! Yarrrr!

I think I might have liked that

[misterthirsty]

I for one would enjoy Terry Gross [npr.org] trying to sell me penis enlargement pills. In other news...

Re:And before that

[sm62704]

(you can still see the fading "Post no bills" paint on many old city walls).

I need to put that on my mailbox.

it's a shame this era is lost really

[circletimessquare]

because according to their broadcasts, these guys had perfected a way to increase penis size with nothing but radio waves

1934 form letter

[UbuntuDupe]

Your post advocates a

( ) technical (X) legislative ( ) market-based ( ) vigilante

approach to defeating the menace of playbills. Your idea will not work. Here is why it won't work. (One or more of the following may apply to your particular idea, and it may have other flaws which used to vary from state to state before FDR passed a new law.)

( ) Bill posters can easily use it to harvest better locations
( ) Billboards and other legitimate posters would be affected
(X) No one will be able to find the knave or collect the money
( ) It is defenseless against brute force attacks
( ) It will stop playbills for two weeks and then we'll be stuck with it
( ) Users of large surfaces will not put up with it
( ) Sears will not put up with it
( ) The police will not put up with it
( ) Requires too much cooperation from playbill posters
( ) Requires immediate total cooperation from everybody at once
( ) Many postboard users cannot afford to lose business or alienate potential employers
( ) Playbill posters don't care about unusable surfaces in their plans
( ) Anyone could anonymously destroy anyone else's job or business

Specifically, your plan fails to account for

( ) Laws expressly prohibiting it
(X) Lack of centrally controlling authority for flat surfaces in public view
(X) Undocumented aliens who post the playbills
( ) Ease of searching tiny set of all flat surfaces in the area
( ) Men of ill repute
(X) Jurisdictional problems
( ) Unpopularity of fanciful new taxes
( ) Public reluctance to accept fanciful money not backed by gold
( ) Huge existing capital investment in buildings
( ) Susceptibility of buildings without flat surfaces to collapse
( ) Willingness of users to read playbills whilst passing by
(X) Legions of unattended buildings
( ) Eternal arms race involved in all mointoring approaches
( ) Extreme profitability of playbill posting
(X) Forgery of others' names
( ) Politicians ill-informed of new-fangled devices
( ) Extreme foolishness on the part of people who buy from playbill advertisements
( ) Dishonesty on the part of playbill posters themselves
( ) Labor costs that are unaffected by careful monitoring
( ) Tacks and glue

and the following philosophical objections may also apply:

(X) Ideas similar to yours are easy to come up with, yet none have ever been shown workable
( ) Any scheme based on requirement to leave the program is intolerable
( ) Legislation of bold message headings is not Constitutionally authorized
( ) Blacklists are humbug
( ) Whitelists are humbug
( ) We should be able to talk about alcohol without being censored
( ) Countermeasures should not involve wire fraud or check fraud
( ) Countermeasures should not involve sabotage of public areas
( ) Countermeasures must work if phased in gradually
( ) Posting messages should be free
( ) Why should we have to trust you and your file warehouses?
(X) Jolly-good measures do nothing to solve the problem
( ) Temporary/one-time postal addresses are cumbersome
( ) Killing them that way is not tortuous enough

Furthermore, this is what I think about you:

(X) Sorry friend, but I don't think it would work.
( ) This is a confounded idea, and you're a confounded person for suggesting it.
( ) Nice try, knave! I shall find out where you live and burn your rental down forthright!

Re:1934 form letter

[Bloke down the pub]

While I found your post to be most mirthful you have regrettably caused some of my finest porter, that I happened to be imbibing while perusing this emporium, to spill upon my stenographical apparatus.

To whom, sir, should I direct the invoice?