Has Microsoft 'Solved' Spam?

MsWillow writes to tell us the Seattle PI is running a story looking back at Bill Gates promise to have the spam problem "solved" in two years. Well, it looks like time is up, and the verdict is -- an emphatic "maybe". From the article: "Microsoft says it sees things differently. To "solve" the problem for consumers in the short run doesn't require eliminating spam entirely, said Ryan Hamlin, the general manager who oversees the company's anti-spam programs. Rather, he said, the idea is to contain it to the point that its impact on in-boxes is minor. In that way, Hamlin said, Gates' prediction has come true for people using the right tactics and advanced filtering technology."

When you fail,

[w.p.richardson]

try, try again.

Or you can move the goalpost in the middle of the game. That's easier.

Eliminating spam means eliminating spam!

What's this spam?

[Anonymous Coward]

Never heard of it. By the way, visit my blog at dvorak.org/blog [dvorak.org]. Cheers,

John

My Hotmail Inbox

[backslashdot]

My Hotmail Inbox averages about 2 spams a week. However, my "junk mail" occasionally has a legitimate email dropped in there too. However all things considered, 2 spams a week in my Inbox isn't that bad.

So, yeah, Microsoft may have "solved" spam .. but their solution has rounding errors.

Re:In short...

[Anonymous Coward]

You missed one. Microsoft solved spam by ... redefining "solved."

Meaningful answer

[wombatmobile]

"The problem is [bbc.co.uk] solved."

-- Bill

Now I love Bill Gates, he's the greatest.

[svanstrom]

I used to hate Bill Gates, but now I love him... Not only did he fight to stop spam, but he actually managed to do just that for me years before he started working on it. He's a genius!!!

Now, how do I go about paying him for all the hard work he put into all the hours I spent working on procmail-filters, programming and, not to mention, create the wonderful bogofilter-projekt?

What to do with SPAM when you get it

[digitaldc]

Other initiatives by the company include efforts to teach consumers about what to do with spam when they do receive it.

Here [pitt.edu] is an idea:

THREE BEAN SALAD w/SPAM!

7-oz can SPAM, cubed 1/2"
1/3 cup choppd onion
16-oz can cut green beans, drained 1/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup cooking oil
16-oz can yellow wax beans, drained
1/3 cup cider vinegar
1/4 tsp pepper
16-oz can kidney beans, drained
1 tbsp stone ground mustard

In medium bowl combine SPAM, green beans, wax beans, kidney beans and onion. In small bowl combine remaining ingredients; pour over SPAM mixture. Stir gently, mixing thoroughly. Cover; refrigerate 2 to 3 hours or until serving time. Yield: 6 servings.

Business plan

[JabrTheHut]

Step 1: Make outrageous promise
Step 2: Make sure the media pick it up and spread it around
Step 3: Do nothing
Step 4: Redefine what you meant 2 years on
Step 5: Profit!

A bit more complicated than the underwear gnomes' business plan, but much more profitable.

I've got a better idea!

[stavromueller]

Er... how about microsoft just run all its mail through a GMail account? That would filter all the spam.

How Does Microsoft Change a Light Bulb?

[nathanh]

They don't. Instead they define dark as the new standard.

And you thought it was a joke... receiving spam is now the Microsoft definition of being spam-free!

Re:Business plan

[dkleinsc]

Sorry, the Bush Administration has a prior art claim on that business plan, although their version of it has "Step 3: Do whatever the hell we feel like".

Re:Same way they solved Virii

[Anonymous Coward]

"Things called viruseses they go the house?"

Wrong, wrong, wrong

[scottennis]

Hormel [spam.com] is really the ONLY company that can legitimately do something about the problem of SPAM®

Re:Solution ...

[dangitman]

Heh. Set up a captcha that says "enter your password." I bet people would fall for it.

Great timing

[halleluja]

Oddly enough, my Hotmail account filtered all spam automatically for me just until a week ago...

Re:In short...

[FidelCatsro]

That's quite insulting to Microsoft's marketing Department .. They took the time to also redefine "Spam"

Embrace and extend

[Weaselmancer]

Embrace: solve Pronunciation Key (slv, sôlv)
v. solved, solving, solves
v. tr.

1. To find a solution to.
2. To work out a correct solution to (a problem).

Extend: 3. Not actually find a solution to. See half measure, plagarism.

Solving world hunger

[coastin]

"Rather, he said, the idea is to contain it to the point that its impact on in-boxes is minor. In that way, Hamlin said, Gates' prediction has come true for people using the right tactics and advanced filtering technology."

My prediction of solving world hunger has just come true! By contain it to a point for those who chose the right tactics, like having a BigMac for lunch...

I knew it! Microsoft is behind OpenSource!

[u2pa]

SpamAssassin [apache.org] & Thunderbird [mozilla.com] heuristic learning, have been keeping my inbox 99,7% spamfree for the last 2 years.

Stupid as i am, i never realized that i have Microsoft to thank for it.

Re:Same way they solved Virii

[m50d]

We're speaking English, not Latin.

We're also speaking English, not French. So we don't need some committee to tell us which words we can and can't use. Virii makes reasonable sense, sounds cool, and is immediately understood.

Re:Same way they solved Virii

[JTorres176]

According to Wikipedia [wikipedia.org] In the English language, the normal plural of virus is viruses. This form of the plural is correct, and used most frequently, both when referring to a biological virus and when referring to a computer virus. The forms viri and virii are also used as a plural, although less frequently. There is disagreement among users of the Internet over whether these forms should be considered correct. No reputable printed dictionary includes them as correct forms.

Of course, if we're not allowed to use latin in the english language, you should stop using things like et cetera, super, circus, recipe, agenda, ultimatum, versus, or circa.

I'd be a smartass and call you a genius, but since that's also a latin word, you'd probably refuse to accept it as english anyway.

Re:Same way they solved Virii

[Itchy Rich]

We're also speaking English, not French. So we don't need some committee to tell us which words we can and can't use. Virii makes reasonable sense, sounds cool, and is immediately understood.

You're saying we should all use the poncy variant "virii" for viruses because you prefer it. Are you sure you're not French?

Re:Same way they solved Virii

[Imsdal]

Virii makes reasonable sense, sounds cool, and is immediately understood.

It only makes "reasonable" sense with a very loose definition of reasonable. It doesn't sound cool at all. In fact, it sounds like a something a nerd wannabe would say to impress his nerd friends. And it's not "immediately" understood. All normal people will have to think to themselves "Oh, this is nerd speak", which, while not difficult can't be said to be immediate either.

Thus, I give "virii" speakers 0.25 + 0 + 0.5 = 0.75 points out of a possible 3 points. Not good, but thanks for playing! Better luck next time!

Re:Same way they solved Virii

[Xiaran]

[Brian is writing graffiti on the palace wall. The Centurion catches him in the act]
Centurion: What's this, then? "Romanes eunt domus"? People called Romanes, they go, the house?
Brian: It says, "Romans go home. "
Centurion: No it doesn't ! What's the latin for "Roman"? Come on, come on !
Brian: Er, "Romanus" !
Centurion: Vocative plural of "Romanus" is?
Brian: Er, er, "Romani" !
Centurion: [Writes "Romani" over Brian's graffiti] "Eunt"? What is "eunt"? Conjugate the verb, "to go" !
Brian: Er, "Ire". Er, "eo", "is", "it", "imus", "itis", "eunt".
Centurion: So, "eunt" is...?
Brian: Third person plural present indicative, "they go".
Centurion: But, "Romans, go home" is an order. So you must use...?
[He twists Brian's ear]
Brian: Aaagh ! The imperative !
Centurion: Which is...?
Brian: Aaaagh ! Er, er, "i" !
Centurion: How many Romans?
Brian: Aaaaagh ! Plural, plural, er, "ite" !
Centurion: [Writes "ite"] "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home" is motion towards, isn't it?
Brian: Dative !
[the Centurion holds a sword to his throat]
Brian: Aaagh ! Not the dative, not the dative ! Er, er, accusative, "Domum" !
Centurion: But "Domus" takes the locative, which is...?
Brian: Er, "Domum" !
Centurion: [Writes "Domum"] Understand? Now, write it out a hundred times.
Brian: Yes sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.
Centurion: Hail Caesar ! And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.

Re:What happened to the "math equation" solution?

[Weedlekin]

"Microsoft is using Bayesian filtering which way predates Bill's promise."

How can you say such a thing? It is a well known fact that Thomas Bayes plagiarised a
paper published in September of 1744 by Microsoft employees working on a new spam
filtering system for Outlook. The fact that overran estimated release dates by more than
260 years was solely due to the sort of delays that can and do affect many software
development projects.

Re:Same way they solved Virii

[tompaulco]

It's almost as bad as that non-sensical word: irregardless.
Oh come on now. For all intensive purposes it means the same as regardless.

Ugh. now I feel dirty.

Re:Same way they solved Virii

[Red Alastor]

You just wrote : A burn inside hell, boy of monkey.

Don't use translation tools.

Re:Same way they solved Virii

[Confoundit]

The word is poncy, and is a British slang word roughly meaning pretentious.

The word is "Fonzie" and is an American slang word roughly meaning "Arthur Fonzarelli."

http://www.fiftiesweb.com/fashion/fonzie.jpg [fiftiesweb.com]