Disconnecting Telemarketers

Anonymous Scientist at UMass sent in a story about opt-out telemarketing laws, and several people submitted this story about a spam bill in the Senate. New York's telemarketing law does work - since we put our number on the list, we've gotten a couple of calls from charities (not covered by the law) and a couple of calls from Time-Warner Cable, asking us to sign up for cable. Time-Warner's calls would be banned, except that we have a pre-existing business relationship with them - you see, we already have cable. Update: 05/18 15:30 GMT by M : Oh, and if you live in New York: NYNoCall.com.

Spammers, those that keep on giving....

[IHavePowers]

I hate telemarketers they call out the time, but I never answer because of my caller id. Well, I experienced something new a few weeks ago. Phone spam. Having enough experience with spam I didn't fall for it, but my parents did. My caller ID read Moneyclaims or something like that. Well, I knew it was a telemarketer. My dad did not. So he calls them and gets a recording saying go to a website. So he tells me go to the site so he can get his money that someone owes. I'm like, sure... So I go to the site and what do I see, two pairs of large breast staring at me. My parents were shocked, but I laughed out in glee. I said I told you so and they stopped bothering me.

Re:Scams

[shaldannon]

Well...once when I was a missionary in California City, I got a call from someone alledging to be from the Bakersfield FOP. He asked if I would be interested in giving them money. I replied with "I'm a missionary, so I don't have a whole lot of money...but if you're interested, I could arrange to have some missionaries from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints [lds.org] some share a message about Jesus Christ." He hung up pretty quickly...

i hate telemarketers

[DigiBoi]

they try to sell me siding, roofing, windows, remodeling, lawn care, etc. and i live in an apartment.

id hate to see what they try to sell you if you own a home.

The obvious solution...

[NoMoreNicksLeft]

We form vigilante groups of 10 or so, for every major city in the country. We arm them with flechette round shotguns, incendiary grenades and train them for a few weeks. We have the various legislatures authorize law enforcement to investigate spamming, and inform the vigilantes of any known telemarketer lair.

We send in the troops.

Either that, or we pull a Sigourney Weaver... "We go back to the mothership, and nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."

101 Way to Waste Their Time

[Tarquin Sidebottom]

The How Long Will They Wait Test
If telemarketers are prepared to waste your time you should waste theirs. When they call, say you're interested but just a second and lay the phone down. Return a few minutes later and either hang up the phone or laugh at them if they're still on the phone.

The Parrot Approach
Do the old, copy them approach. Once you know it telemarkers, simply repeat them word for word. The conversation will get nowhere slowly and it will put them in the unusual position of having to be the one to terminate the call.

I'm Interested But I'm A Complete Idiot Approach
This involves asking them as many question, preferibly including some rather idiotic questions. Keep this going for as long as you can without ever agreeing to anything or giving them any information. Given that they are generating sales they will happiliy carry on their sales pitch.

The "I'm On Watch Out Jeremy Beadles About, aren't I" Approach
This involves refusing to believe that they are trying to sell something but its really a prank call by a TV show.

The Swithcback Manouver
"I'm afraid not, but while you're on the phone would you like to be some double glazing?" Confuse them switching roles, be "agresive" and make them feel guilty for not taking you up on your sales offer.

Any more suggestions?

Stealing?

[Anonymous Coward]

Isn't that stealing from the telemarketers though? By not letting them call you or avoiding their cold calls, you're essentially stealing their revenue. This is no better than not watching commercials on TV. These people have to make money you know. Quit being so blind and greedy and do what I do, sign up and get as many calls as possible! I LOVE HELPING!

☻ Not First post but First NIGGER

[Anonymous Coward]

First coon!!

Re:Simple solution

[glitch!]

Get rid of the land line. Cell phones are cheaper and easier. Telemarketers don't have cell phone numbers.

That's an excellent point. I carry my cell phone everywhere, and everyone I know has the number. (I guess "they" can track me, now...) Recently I have stopped answering my home phone, and let my 2-year old answer it instead. She loves it! "Hewwwwooo?" babble babble babble. I figure that if she is still talking after a minute or so, it is someone in the family, and I can take over. Otherwise, who cares? :-)

Re:101 Way to Waste Their Time

[Kintanon]

As a former telemarketer I can tell you that the highlight of my night was usually when someone did something like the above poster described. Anything witty, funny, or interesting was a great break from the normal routine of calls. And we get paid pretty reasonably in addition to our comission. So don't feel about about making our night more interesting.

Kintanon
P.S. My favorite phone call is still the one where I called up and asked for some girl, and the guy who answered the phone responds with, 'She's busy sucking my dick right now.'

Military Telemarketers

[IHavePowers]

These guys are the worst to me. When I was graduating from highschool I would get atleast 2 or 3 calls a week from the Marines/Navy/Army. The Army wanted to come to my house and show me videos, uh no thanks. Now the marines tried to convince me going to college was a waste of time. They kept asking what seperates me from all the other people out there. The cocky person I am, I said well i'm just better than them. I still get calls from them every now and then, but now I know its them. The next time they call i'm gonna say sure, as soon as you guys catch Bin Laden.

Re:Military Telemarketers

[stinkydog]

Cure for military telemarketers:

1. Answer Phone
2. Speak in the thickest lisp you can without laughing
3. Tell the recruiter that you are becoming a male ballet dancer or working in a beauty salon "doing hair"
4. Calls from all branches stop immediatly

SD

If you tell telemarkters they are rude

[Anonymous Coward]

They send you letters like this one from Sprint.

Sprint sales letter calling person Dear Asshole [milestonerdl.com]