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Worms Security Technology

Conficker Worm Strike Reports Start Rolling In 508

Nieriko writes "Reports are trickling in about the impact from the Conficker worm, as infected systems passed zero hour at midnight and began downloading additional malicious components. Here are a couple of the more notable incidents caused by Conficker so far, according to published reports: — '... shortly after midnight local time, an ATM in the capital city of Reykjavik began spewing 100-Krona notes. ... A nuclear missile installation near Elmendorf Air force Base outside of Anchorage, Alaska briefly went on a full-scale military alert after technicians manning the bunker suspected that several of their control systems were infected with Conficker.'"
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Conficker Worm Strike Reports Start Rolling In

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  • by SuperBry ( 1242668 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @09:11AM (#27415917)
    All my radio stations were switched to fox news radio.
    • by niskel ( 805204 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @09:22AM (#27416291)

      They just want to make sure you become a properly informed citizen from a reliable and unbiased source!

      • by gollito ( 980620 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @09:31AM (#27416539) Homepage
        No more biased than any of the other stations.

        They all have agendas.

        • by orthancstone ( 665890 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @09:35AM (#27416713)
          All may have agendas (not necessarily true), but some are more biased than others (yes, Fox News fits in that category).
          • by Anonymous Psychopath ( 18031 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @10:53AM (#27418749) Homepage

            The degree of bias from Fox/CNN/MSNBC is subjectively scored based on how much you agree with whatever slop they're dishing out.

            In other words, if you believe MSNBC has no bias, then you will also believe that Fox has an extreme bias. The reverse is also true.

          • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

            by bonch ( 38532 )

            You know, nobody has ever given me an example of how Fox News is biased or twists its news. It's just an accepted punchline that nobody questions.

            A UCLA-Stanford media study done a few years ago showed Fox News was the most centrist, with Brit Hume's show being the fairest of all news shows on TV. Naturally, the media didn't report this study very widely.

          • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

            by CAIMLAS ( 41445 )

            Not true at all. You think it's more biased, but it's most likely just that you're more violently opposed to the particular brand of bias on Fox than on the other channels. I know that holds true for me, but in the reverse: I can't watch most of those other channels because the fundamental principles ('first beliefs') the reporters hold are plainly evident in the "biased" speech they use when interviewing and discussing - or even the particular slant or perspective they decide to take on a story.

            News isn't

    • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

      by GameMaster ( 148118 )

      Sorry, that's just a symptom of your, severe, brain damage.

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      No, I did that on my way out this morning. By the way, tell your mom I said hey.
    • by vlm ( 69642 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @09:41AM (#27416913)

      All my radio stations were switched to fox news radio.

      A station that is not clearchannel still exists?

    • by beadfulthings ( 975812 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @10:12AM (#27417775) Journal

      Oh, it's a lot worse than that! My laptop keeps telling me that all my base are belong to them, but it won't tell me who they are...

    • by Talderas ( 1212466 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @10:16AM (#27417853)

      Some of my scripts spit out 9.5 GB log files.

      See?

      http://img25.imageshack.us/my.php?image=goodlogsgonebad.png [imageshack.us]

  • ATM (Score:3, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @09:12AM (#27415939)
    Why does MY local ATM never spew out 100 euro notes? :(
  • by jollyreaper ( 513215 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @09:12AM (#27415951)

    It's so hard to tell which ones are too stupid to be true and so stupid they probably are true.

    • What if the Singularity went down today?

    • by Sir_Lewk ( 967686 ) <sirlewk AT gmail DOT com> on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @09:20AM (#27416225)

      From the article:

      In case you haven't guessed it yet, APRIL FOOLS!!! Seriously, if we get any real news about outages, deaths, or disruptions actually caused by Conficker today, you will read it here first.

      • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

        Yeah but since a large percentage of the community (let's go with 84.3%) doesn't R the FA then most of us will never know. But of course since there are so many informative people like you who post the stuff we care about then I guess it's a moot point.
      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        by ultranova ( 717540 )

        In case you haven't guessed it yet, APRIL FOOLS!!! Seriously, if we get any real news about outages, deaths, or disruptions actually caused by Conficker today, you will read it here first.

        How do you know it's not that part that is the April fool? That is, rather than publishing a fictitious article, make you believe that a legitimate article is untrue?

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      It's so hard to tell which ones are too stupid to be true and so stupid they probably are true.

      Sad reality is Conficker's authors were smart enough to rely on the stupidity of said news publishers.

      Disinformation with zero effort, for nearly 48 hours, who wouldn't want to launch their malicious plan on this very day?

  • those are worth around 80c, i call shens

  • by Bruiser80 ( 1179083 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @09:14AM (#27416003)
    The true nature of the worm has been discovered. Slashdot will be simultaneously accessed by all the infected computers, making Slashdot.org succumb to its own "slashdot effect"
  • Genius (Score:5, Insightful)

    by MyLongNickName ( 822545 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @09:15AM (#27416037) Journal

    Whoever set this virus up was smart to have things happen on April 1st. I never know if these reports are real or someone is making a joke.

  • Almost worked. There were a few nice parts, but the disclaimer were too over the top, and the thing about Big Ben even more unbeliveable than the oen about Alaska. And if they wanted a game joke, they could have worked better on the Leroy character.

    OMGPONIES, I'm meta-moderating April's Fools articles. That's a low blow in my life.

  • by xmas2003 ( 739875 ) * on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @09:16AM (#27416053) Homepage
    Rick Astly passes away - rolls over in his grave. [wikipedia.org]
  • It is a non-story until my work gets infected.
  • by powerlord ( 28156 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @09:17AM (#27416115) Journal

    The end of the Fine Article:

    Read on after the jump for more Conficker madness.

    In case you haven't guessed it yet, APRIL FOOLS!!! Seriously, if we get any real news about outages, deaths, or disruptions actually caused by Conficker today, you will read it here first.

  • That Bill Gates was finally paying out on his email promises...
  • Reykjavik (Score:3, Funny)

    by Norsefire ( 1494323 ) * on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @09:18AM (#27416131) Journal
    Having an ATM throwing up 100 Krona notes can't be good for the Icelandic economy.
  • Was the result of missile jockeys who'd had a bit too much coffee. Nothing to do with conficker. Not a Wargames [youtube.com] scenario at all.

  • All the Manola Blaniks uploaded themselves to the shop! Hey, do I get achievement points for posting here? Can't we twitter this?
  • Its April first. Was anyone actually thinking they were serious?

  • Changing everyones homepage to a youtube rickroll
  • Not funny... (Score:2, Insightful)

    There's a difference between a funny april fools joke (see StackOverflow's new Cornify feature) and just being annoying by reporting fake news. I hate to be the downer, but I'd still like to be able to watch /. for good info today. Too bad I guess.
    • by Yvanhoe ( 564877 )
      I would add that we have to expect Conficker-related news today... or the usual slashdot lag could factor in and we will get itneresting articles in 2 or 3 days.
    • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

      Well different people have different sense of humor. I think it would presumptuous for you or I to claim with any kind of objective authority that this fake news report isn't funny. I'm sure there are plenty of people who think it is.

      I personally don't think it's that funny--but again my point is just that humor is a variable thing. So just because you or I don't get a laugh from it, doesn't mean it isn't funny.

      What is funny, in my opinion, is reading through the Slashdot comments and seeing how many of the

  • by gurutc ( 613652 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @09:24AM (#27416357)
    Would be if Conficker does nothing after all the man-hours spent preparing for it.
  • I loved this one....

    Banking officials there reportedly said the Microsoft Windows-based based bank system began disbursing the bills after a local prankster crammed an infected USB stick into the maw of the teller machine.

    If your ATM's have usb slots, your bankers need to be killed right now in a giant pyre in the streets.

    And can anyone tell me where the MAW of my laptop is?

  • by spywhere ( 824072 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @09:29AM (#27416501)
    Someone actually shipped a car that was exactly as advertised, and a massage didn't have a happy ending.
  • My PC became sentient today and filed a Cease and Decist against me rebooting it...
  • I must be infected. My XP machine is telling me I may be a victim of software counterfeiting.
  • If it is obvious enough, read the article, specifically the last few lines. For those that are hiding in their bomb shelters
  • The worm infected international banking systems, zeroed all overdrafts for people with a net worth less than 250K USD by netting the amounts against accounts owned by people such as Bill Gates, AIG and banking bonus-receipiants and others. It simultaneously wiped out national debts of the USA and other countries by netting against Chinese and Arab nation sovereign wealth funds.

    Wealth previously locked up in secret bank accounts in Switzerland and elsewhere was transferred 50% to GM and other struggling com

  • by Locke2005 ( 849178 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @12:18PM (#27420337)
    Hey, everyone, listen up, your attention if you please
    Really wanna give you a warning
    'Cause I found out this morning
    About a dangerous, insidious computer virus
    If you should get an email with the subject, 'stinky cheese'
    Better not go taking your chances
    Under no circumstances, should you open it
    Or else it will
    Translate your documents into Swahili
    Make your TV record "Gigli"
    Neuter your pets, and give you laundry static cling Look out!
    It's gonna make your computer screen freeze Look out!
    Erase the Easter eggs off your DVDs Look out!
    Erase your hard drive and your backups too
    And the hard drive of anyone related to you Virus alert!
    Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
    Forward this message on to everybody
    Soon, very soon, it will make all the paint peel off your walls
    It'll make your keyboard all sticky
    Give your poodle a hickey
    And invest your cash in stock in Euro Disney
    Then, it will tie up your phone, making crank long-distance calls
    It'll set your clocks back an hour and start clogging the shower
    So just trash it now, or else it will
    Decide to give you a permanent wedgie,
    Legally change your name to Reggie,
    Even mess up the pH balance in your pool Look out!
    It's gonna melt your face right off your skull Look out!
    And make your iPod only play Jethro Tull Look out!
    And tell you knock-knock jokes while you're trying to sleep Look out!
    And make you physically attracted to sheep Look out!
    Steal your identity and your credit cards Look out!
    Buy you a warehouse full of pink leotards Look out!
    Then cause a major rift in time and space
    And leave a bunch of Twinkie wrappers all over the place
    That's right it's a... Virus alert!
    Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
    Forward this message on to everybody Virus alert!
    Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
    Forward this message on to everybody
    Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
    Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now
    If you get infected, you'll wish you had never been born
    So before it emails your grandmother all of your porn
    Turn off your computer and make sure it powers down
    Drop it in a forty-three-foot hole in the ground
    Bury it completely; rocks and boulders should be fine
    Then burn all the clothes you may have worn any time you were online! Virus alert!
    Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
    Forward this message on to everybody Virus alert!
    Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
    Forward this message on to everybody Virus alert!
    Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
    Forward this message on to everybody
    Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
    Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now
    What are you waiting for?
    Just hurry up and forward this to every single person that you know!
    Hit send right now!

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