Microsofts "Honeymonkey" Project 320
g0bshiTe writes "Ever hear the saying, 'given enough time a room full of monkeys could type out Shakespeare'? Well Microsoft seems to be taking this saying to heart, and taking a cue from the Honeynet project, they have created what they have dubbed 'honeymonkeys.' Security Focus has an article which describes this honeymonkey network, which is little more than a network of virtual Windows XP boxes in various patch states. These boxes are setup to crawl the seedier side of the web in search of vulnerabilities not bieng reported, and are being actively exploited in an attempt to further secure their product. Sounds like a decent idea from the Redmond crew to me."
secret name of the honeymonkeys (Score:5, Funny)
Re:secret name of the honeymonkeys (Score:2)
but BBQ Microsoft Developer would also do
Re:secret name of the honeymonkeys (Score:5, Funny)
No, those are developers. Developers. Developers. Developers. Developers. Developers. Developers.
Re:secret name of the honeymonkeys (Score:2)
Re:secret name of the honeymonkeys (Score:2, Funny)
Re:secret name of the honeymonkeys (Score:2, Funny)
They're known as Summer Interns.
Re:secret name of the honeymonkeys (Score:5, Funny)
I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.
I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.
I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.
Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.
I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.
I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.
I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.
I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.
I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.
I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.
I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.
I like monkeys
Re:secret name of the honeymonkeys (Score:2)
I heard it on the Dr. Demento show.
Re:secret name of the honeymonkeys (Score:4, Funny)
Mod parent +5 funny!
Re:secret name of the honeymonkeys (Score:2, Funny)
Re:secret name of the honeymonkeys (Score:5, Funny)
Get ready for a ton of these (Score:5, Funny)
Just thought I'd head everyone off here...
(lameness filter padding lameness filter padding lameness filter padding)
Doesn't surprise me (Score:2, Funny)
Nope (Score:5, Funny)
It takes a Terminator to defeat Skynet. It takes a script kiddie and a buffer overflow to defeat Windows.
Warning: This Operation Has Side Effects (Score:5, Interesting)
mmmmmm... honeymonkey (Score:5, Funny)
But the real reason they named the project this is because they intend to sting you like a bee and then throw fecal matter at you.
Re:mmmmmm... honeymonkey (Score:4, Funny)
Re:mmmmmm... honeymonkey (Score:2)
Sounds delicious.
Oh, and you haven't tasted... Snake Surprise [imdb.com]!
Good idea (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Good idea (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Good idea (Score:2)
Re:Good idea (Score:5, Insightful)
Not really, as script kiddies, by definition, don't typically discover exploits, they're more thrill seekers looking for an ego trip. When an exploit stops working, they'll just move on to another. When (if?) exploits become hard to find, because true crackers protect them better, the script kiddies will return to their previous pursuits, games and porn.
Re:Good idea (Score:5, Funny)
...
God I'm depressed now.
You have a choice to make young Skywalker (Score:3, Informative)
You can go down the path of the Script Kiddie, Fandom, Techno-Fandom, Programmer, Uber-User or Hacker.
Script Kiddie pretty much excludes being any good at the other paths, but the other paths do not necessarily exclude each other.
Script Kiddie: A worthless waste of skin who considers themselves to be "better" in one way or another because they can download and run the utilities the found listed in their copy of "Hacking Exposed" and type in an obscure dialect of L33t 5p33
Re:Good idea (Score:2)
And that, my friend, is why it would be so excellent.
Stewey
Re:Good idea (Score:2)
Nah, you'll still get to have a few months of fun.
"bieng"? (Score:5, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
Re:New job posting at Microsoft (Score:5, Funny)
Re:New job posting at Microsoft (Score:2)
Mmmmm (Score:2)
Re:Mmmmm (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Mmmmm (Score:2)
Hmm sounds like a great idea (Score:2, Insightful)
Actually attempting to use their product as if they were an end user in the wild of the internet. Seems to me this shows that Microsoft is definately moving towards a more security conscious mindset.
Re:Hmm sounds like a great idea (Score:4, Insightful)
In articles I tend to see just a small fraction of posts showing this supposed typical groupthink... and then a gigantic mass of posts from people who think they're observant and different and insightful for pointing out that it's going on.
Re:Hmm sounds like a great idea (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Hmm sounds like a great idea (Score:2)
Not at all. Although I was under the impression that this was how they wrote most of their software...
I'm available... (Score:5, Funny)
I like to call it, "break time"
This group also did "ghostbuster" (Score:5, Informative)
This is part of the general Strider Project [microsoft.com] in Microsoft Research. They do very good work.
Re:This group also did "ghostbuster" (Score:2)
Do you understand what this means? They're watching us. Tinfoil alone might not protect you from the Evil Minions. There is nowhere safe.
/confused
Download... (Score:2)
Sysinternals has a similar rootkit detector, instead of scanning the registry from safe media, it does it at a very low level as well as high level, thus it is possibly foolable but still pretty good.
You can get a Knoppix CD and do it for Linux: From within the possibly rootkitted system, MD5sum everything on the disk, reset and boot into Knoppix, repeat the MD5 sum process and look for any differences.
I say (Score:5, Funny)
So your saying... (Score:4, Funny)
Exploits on real vs. virtual XP boxen (Score:3, Interesting)
The point is that to the extent that the virtual XP box fails to emulate ALL the features of real hardware, there will be some room for doubt. Despite this misgiving, I commend Microsoft for tackling this problem.
Re:Exploits on real vs. virtual XP boxen (Score:2)
So what else is new (Score:2, Funny)
this news is BIG (Score:5, Funny)
-- someone exploits a vulnerability
-- 2 weeks later someone discovers it
-- half a year later M$ patches it
-- three years later new version of Windows is released and finally the last 80% of users have patched systems.
it took 3 years, 6 months and 2 weeks to patch most computers.
Post-Monkey Era:
-- someone exploits a vulnerability
-- 2 days later monkeys report it
-- half a year later M$ patches it
-- three years later new version of Windows is released and finally the last 80% of users have patched systems.
it took 3 years 6 months and 2 days to patch most computers.
nice PR move though.
Re:this news is BIG (Score:2)
how much thought went into this? (Score:5, Insightful)
1. Are these machines using non-Microsoft IP addresses for their 'net access?
2. If not, how long until the worm authors take that into account?
Re:how much thought went into this? (Score:2, Funny)
Maybe a lot of thought (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:Maybe a lot of thought (Score:2)
You are giving someone too much credit, but I am not sure which one.
-S
Honeymonkey Blacklist (Score:4, Informative)
Disappointing story (Score:5, Funny)
It's a coverup (Score:5, Funny)
What? How dare you? (Score:2)
Sir, you should be taken to the public square and put in the stocks where you will be beaten by peasants for 32 days! How dare you compliment Microsoft on Slashdot? Do you not know that it's considered heresy?
Better Late than Never (Score:2)
With all the hoopla a couple years ago about how Microsoft is serious about security, I had ASSUMED they were doing this! The Honeynet project is coming up on 6 years, s
What shall we do with the drunken customer... (Score:2)
A Little OT (Score:2)
Monkey Shakespeare Simulator! [tninet.se]
Infintie Monkeys (Score:2, Insightful)
I believe the quote is "If you placed an infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters, one of them would eventually produce the collected works of Shakespeare." rather than the grammatical nightmare stated above.
The Infinite Monkey Theorem [wikipedia.org]
Have hackers do it. (Score:2)
Comment removed (Score:3, Informative)
An (im)modest proposal (Score:2)
A Modest Proposal, or not [advogato.org]
The upshot is that (1) the rootkits will close the holes they use, (2) the vulnerable machines will be tucked behind firewalls, infected via the web and e-mail, and (3) the bad guys can send bad e-mail to victims, but the honeymonkeys can't.
New source of zombies; Microsoft (Score:2)
Dedicate a few thousand machine to getting infected, and give them access to the net...
I wonder how long until people start noticing that the zombies trying to compromise their systems are located in Microsoft's network.
Microsoft just made the net even more unsafe.
Let the lawsuits commence.
Re:New source of zombies; Microsoft (Score:2)
Because, of course, not one person at MS has ever heard of egress filtering, right?
I'm Gunna Be A Monkey (Score:2)
For Those in the Corporate IT World (Score:3, Insightful)
Its 'i' before 'e' (Score:2)
Sorry to nit-pick but...
You mean... (Score:3, Insightful)
MS - the security company (?) (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Did the sun rise from the West? (Score:3, Insightful)
Sort of.
A good idea from the MS guys is a really rare thing.
And as such, it is certainly worth the praise.
Re:Did the sun rise from the West? (Score:3, Interesting)
And as such, it is certainly worth the praise.
No its not, from a company that has a 50 billion dollar warchest and can afford to hire the best and brightest, you should expect only good ideas.
Re:Did the sun rise from the West? (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Did the sun rise from the West? (Score:2)
Inferior doesn't exactly mean that windows isn't as good as the alternatives but the coding behind it might not be. At least with free (as in beer) products, this type of initiative has been around and used to make open source software more robust and secure then it once was.
Expecting a company like microsoft with it's large war chest to do somethign like
Re:Did the sun rise from the West? (Score:3, Insightful)
Doing a good thign doesn't address the reasoning behind why they are doing. It isn't like my statment was implying microsoft was being a good citizen on purpose or anytjhing. They are just doing somethign that i as well as othe
Re:Did the sun rise from the West? (Score:2)
Re:Did the sun rise from the West? (Score:2)
Well, that _is_ some quite an optimistic viewpoint. Be that about MS or else.
Re:Did the sun rise from the West? (Score:2)
Clippy. Same lines as Bob, computer is smarter than you. Not the best feature.
Windows 3.1 was not the best in the world, or the entire Win ME series.
I do like office to some extent. LaTeX slides just look like crap, and Word is sufficient for one page letters.
Re:Did the sun rise from the West? (Score:2)
Re:Did the sun rise from the West? (Score:2)
In terms of technical achievement, Microsoft is little more than a third-rate software company that made its pile
Re:Hmm. (Score:5, Funny)
"he is a doubleplusgood honeyeymonkeyer."
"Bluescree! Praise m.s.!"
"MSCalc: 2+2=5!"
Re:Hmm. (Score:5, Funny)
The First Crash (Score:5, Funny)
I think they were computing pi.
New Ballmer's mantra (Score:2, Funny)
Monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey
Virus! Virus!
Monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey
Argh! It's a spam!
Re:Hmm. (Score:2)
The last line is actually Intel's Intellectual Property.
-
Re:Sounds stupid (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Sounds stupid (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Sounds stupid (Score:2)
In addition the the reasons cited by other replies to your question, bear in mind that sometimes when you patch one thing you break something else. If it can happen on something as simple as a website, it can happen on something as complex as an operating system.
This way, they should be able to catch exploits that open up because of poorly designed patches. If a later patch-level machine comes down with something and an earlier version doesn't, they'll know it happened, and that's a first step to making s
Think about the possibilities. (Score:2)
and then you could issue a new patch to fix that exploit.
I'm sure people who didn't apply the first patch would be happy to apply the second patch. Really. I'm sure they'd be happy to.
Re:why various patch states? (Score:2)
Re:why various patch states? (Score:3, Insightful)
Maybe because they're trying to simulate the real world?
Re:why various patch states? (Score:2, Insightful)
A side effect of this may be a smaller, more targetted software defense update which could be applied to *all* versions of XP would help more people.
Normal Windows update for pre sp2 computer = ~200mb
Targetted Surgical update = ~10mb.
Both will prevent the trojans and viruses, but one is easier to apply than the other.
Re:why various patch states? (Score:2)
Wouldn't those be targetted? (Score:2)
If it was me, I'd save the big guns for specific sites.
I'd use the common ones to crack the random boxes and use those boxes to map/probe my specific targets.
Once you start hitting everybody, someone will notice and start digging. Then you'll lose your secret toy.
Re:A good idea (Score:5, Insightful)
""Just by visiting a Web site, (if) suddenly an executable is created on your machine outside the Internet Explorer folder, it is an exploit with no false positive -- it's that simple," Yi-Ming Wang, senior researcher with Microsoft Research, said during a presentation at the IEEE Security and Privacy conference in Oakland last week."
Want this sillyness fixed? Kill the ActiveX shit! Microsoft created that mess in the first place trying to dominate Java and like usual instead of going for the cause they go for the symptom.
B.
Re:Innovation from Redmond? (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Innovation from Redmond? (Score:2)
Blocking people from doing security patches means more infected computers on the Internet, and better odds that one will find a paying customer to infect.
I think software activation is unethical also, but I'll save that debate for another day.
Re:Seedier Side of Web... (Score:2)
Sigh, people are dumb, even when the dialog box says "this may be dangerous!", people keep clicking on "Yes" or "Open attachment". Maybe a new OS/browser should have a quiz when you install/use it for the first time.. when the user is dumb, make it real hard to do something stupid, and when the user is a pro, make it real easy. Maybe the lusers should be put in a
Re: It has to be said (Score:2, Informative)
[2] According to the description, the network is set up to crawl websites looking for vulnerabilities. If one of the websites infects the crawler, then they will have
Re:U LINUX FAGS (Score:3, Funny)
Dude, you're 5 years out of date. India is saturated. My job just went to Beijing in China.