DHS Sends Tourists Home Over Twitter Jokes 709
itwbennett writes "In a classic case of 'we say destroy, you say party hard,' the U.S. Dept. of Homeland Security detained a pair of British twenty-somethings for 12 hours and then sent them packing back to the land of the cheeky retort. At issue is a Tweet sent by Leigh Van Bryan about plans to 'destroy America,' starting with LA, which, really, isn't that bad an idea."
Death, Strife, Destruction! Film at 11: (Score:5, Funny)
"starting with LA, which, really, isn't that bad an idea"
Certainly has worked for a lot of movies.
But somehow, it doesn't quite rate up with Godzilla's thing for stomping Tokyo.
In other news... (Score:4, Funny)
itwbennett, the author of this story, is now on the DHS no fly list.
I guess the DHS . . . (sunglasses) . . . (Score:1, Funny)
. . . destroyed their vacation
WAAAAaaaaoaooooooh!
Next up: (Score:5, Funny)
I, for one, am happy they took it seriously (Score:5, Funny)
Given rampant celebrity corpse theft [wikipedia.org], you can't really be too cautious when investigating a tweet about a plot to steal Marilyn Monroe's remains. Kudos for defending our dead actors, DHS!
Re:The next time... (Score:4, Funny)
That's why you should vote for Newt... to finish the job.
Re:Context is important (Score:0, Funny)
Re:Everyone in the USA feel safer? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Context is important (Score:5, Funny)
Indeed - one of my best friends is a Brit - when her brother came over here, the first thing he said after giving her a big hug was "God, I could murder a fag right now".*.. he got some strange looks.
*- A colloquialism for "I really need a cigarette" seeing as he'd been on a plane for 7 hours... needless to say, she had to quickly explain to him that this means "kill a gay person" in America.
Re:The next time... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Joking about this is the height of stupidity. (Score:5, Funny)
... the other tweet in question was a Family Guy quote ...
Ah, copyright infringement. No wonder they were kicked out.
Re:Joking about this is the height of stupidity. (Score:4, Funny)
If I said "I'm dying for a cigarette" would you immediately put me on suicide watch or would you recognize the cultural meaning of "I really need a cigarette"? In British parlance, they'd say "I could murder a fag" (fag means cigarette there, and the usage of "destroy" or "murder" can mean "ravenously consume"
Maybe they should say "I could suck a fag" which clarifies the intent?
Apocryphal Australian customs/immigration story (Score:5, Funny)
Someone swore to me that their brother saw this happen in Sydney in the customs/immigration line.
The story was: "I was with a group of people from my flight from Hong Kong to Sydney at the immigration/customs station. The guy in front of me was a British businessman. He was annoyed because of the late flight and the long customs line and was obviously in a hurry.
He showed his passport to the customs officer, who looked it over, paging through all the visa stamps. He sensed the businessman was in a hurry and asked the businessman a lot of questions, superficial and obvious -- do you travel a lot, where have you been, why are you in Sydney, and finally, if he had a criminal record.
The businessman was totally fed up. The late flight, the busy schedule, the long line at customs, and now finally this petty bureaucrat -- he'd had it.
So he answered, "I didn't think that was a prerequisite anymore."
The customs person looked straight at him, and stamped REFUSED ENTRY on his passport and told him he'd have to go back to Hong Kong."
----
There's lots of reasons to not believe it's true -- I'd imagine that the customs process for Commonwealth citizens isn't that onerous, especially for British citizens visiting Australia, especially if they were traveling from another Commonwealth country, and I can't imagine that you could just arbitrarily deny someone entry (well, at least in civilized countries like Australia).
But it's a fun story.
Re:Death, Strife, Destruction! Film at 11: (Score:5, Funny)
No really, no need to destroy America, we'll do it for you.
-DHS
Re:Zeig Heil (Score:5, Funny)
'Emporer' is the american spelling.
Re:Zeig Heil (Score:5, Funny)
despots usually get assinated
That sounds unpleasant.
Re:Weeks before trip (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Context is important (Score:3, Funny)
more likely, what they said actually meant was: I would kill for a gay person.
Re:Zeig Heil (Score:5, Funny)
What, btw, is an emporer?
In the hierarchy of the American oligarchs, the emporer is a most exalted merchant; traditionally, he is also allowed to bear the title of First Citizen of the Emporium.
Re:Zeig Heil (Score:5, Funny)
All people seem to just be born as scared-to-death xenophobes, and most just don't learn any better as they age.
I once thought of taking advantage of that and becoming emporer of the US. Then I remembered history and that despots usually get assinated or at least have to live in fear for their lives.
Then I tought, well I could be a multimillionaire radio talke show host and do spots on Fox News. Then I thought better of that too. I'd be rich but I'd be considered an ass clown by folks who matter and being considered a "hero" by the fans, well, it's like being thought of as a god by your dog.
Almost all of the things you mention would probably require a reasonable level of literacy, which you don't appear to have. So I guess it's a good thing you decided not to become "Emporer." Goodness knows, we wouldn't want you to get "assinated." (is that another word for becoming an ass clown?). Lucky you.
Re:Zeig Heil (Score:5, Funny)
It's the illiterate jackass spelling.
Kinda like "Zieg [sic] Heil," hey?
Re:What Disgusting Moderation (Score:5, Funny)
You can unite a lot of different peoples with hate. Hate the Jews (Hitler), hate the Commies (McCarthy), hate the Rich (currently Obama), hate the Muslims (911 and the Patriot Act), etc.
One of these things is not like the others...
Re:Zeig Heil (Score:5, Funny)
Perhaps to your untrained eyes, the poster appears to have poor grasp of the English language and suffers from frequent lack of accuracy in spelling, but I am entirely convinced that this Anonymous Coward in fact wields English with such Mastery as to dethrone the Bard at his finest!
Let's examine the two examples that you have brought up:
"Emporer" appears to be an incorrect spelling of the word "Emperor". However, I believe the word in fact derives from "emporium", i.e. the "emporer" would in fact mean the "shopkeeper"! It is obvious that he or she is alluding to the rise of USA through capitalism, and making the claim that the ones of stand highest in the land are corporate CEOs!
"Assinated" also appears to be a poor rendition of the word "assassinated". But the correct interpretation is that it comes from the word "asinine", i.e. to be "assinated" means to be made "extremely foolish or stupid", indeed the fate most feared by despots! And ironically, through your ignorance, you were correct in your guess and that the word "assinated" does in fact mean "to be made an ass clown".
I pray that you will careful study this particularly fine piece of writing again and try to divine the finer meanings!