TSA Pats Down 3-Year-Old 1135
3-year-old Mandy Simon started crying when her teddy bear had to go through the X-ray machine at airport security in Chattanooga, Tenn. She was so upset that she refused to go calmly through the metal detector, setting it off twice. Agents then informed her parents that she "must be hand-searched." The subsequent TSA employee pat down of the screaming child was captured by her father, who happens to be a reporter, on his cell phone. The video have left some questioning why better procedures for children aren't in place. I, for one, feel much safer knowing the TSA is protecting us from impressionable minds warped by too much Dora the Explorer.
Metal detector (Score:3, Funny)
Does she have some kind of mutant superpower where emotional distress causes her to manifest lumps of metal inside her body?
As for the rest of this, yeah, this shit is sick. Pat-downs were invasive even before, and now they've turned them into non-consensual erotic massages.
Re:What's the deal with the rush of TSA stories re (Score:2, Funny)
In other news, it is now possible for an individual to have their NAMBLA dues deducted directly from their TSA paycheck.
Re:Lots of pilots and flight attendants... (Score:5, Funny)
And there's a reason for that. Check out the "buxom younger woman" in this video:
http://www.boingboing.net/2010/11/16/the-inevitable-taiwa.html [boingboing.net]
There are those who say the terrorists have already won.
Re:What's the deal with the rush of TSA stories re (Score:3, Funny)
The worst part is when the TSA goon sniffs his fingers after fondling people's genitals.
They must be sniffing for explosive residue.
Terrorist anchor babies (Score:5, Funny)
And if we think this anchor baby threat is to be taken lightly, realize that we have at least on anchor baby in congress. This anchor baby has access to the top leaders of the US and all our security plans. In one step, he could give Cuba, who is still under the same government that wanted to kill every man, woman and child in US, the means and opportunity to kill every man, woman, and child in the US.
I never have problems with TSA anymore (Score:5, Funny)
I simply wear a kilt and go commando.
Re:What's the deal with the rush of TSA stories re (Score:1, Funny)
Re:What's the deal with the rush of TSA stories re (Score:2, Funny)
I'm not sure how I'd handle a pat-down from a Marlon Brando lookalike.
Re:My First Cavity Search (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Terrorism is EXTREMELY RARE (Score:4, Funny)
"If you are really afraid of terrorism, don't travel by airplane, travel by bus. You ever been to a bus station? People walking around all dirty, in rags. A terrorist goes to a bus station and sees this and thinks, 'damn, someone already did up this joint'"
Re:What's the deal with the rush of TSA stories re (Score:5, Funny)
You're right. The whole thing is security theatre at its finest. That's been true for years. Does anybody really think that an old ladies sewing needles are a threat to the airplane?
Of course they are, they could knit an Afghan... thanks, I'll be here all night.
Re:TSA applying pressure to submit to AIT (Score:5, Funny)
OMG, you just gave me a good idea. As soon as the screener's hand "meets resistance", curl up in a ball and start crying, "No, Father Jim, no!" Probably get a meal voucher and a free flight.
Theatre ? (Score:3, Funny)
Does anybody really think that an old ladies sewing needles are a threat to the airplane?
Didn't you hear about the Sleeping Beauty [wikipedia.org] fairy tale ? The needle is poisoned. Excepted that instead of a 115-year-old lady looking like a 15-year-old girl, you would have a 15-year-old-girl looking like a 115-year-old lady [slashdot.org].
Re:I never have problems with TSA anymore (Score:2, Funny)
I have this mental image of the look on a TSA employee's face as they see the be-kilted bandsman approaching and realize that the rest of the pipe band is waiting in the line.
"Och nae laddie, nothing's worn under the kilt... we're all traditionalists!" :)
Terrorists Scaring America (Score:1, Funny)
I've always wondered why terrorists didn't just blow themselves up in the airport at the screening center. Just as effective, just as terrifying, etc. However, I just realized why they don't... They'd be killing their allies, the TSA! What's the definition of a terrorist anyways? Something about striking fear into the hearts of people? What's the TSA doing? Hmmm...
TSA has a new mascot (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Does this count as molestation? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:What's the deal with the rush of TSA stories re (Score:4, Funny)
Before the "take off your shoes" nonsense, I used to wear lightweight hiking shoes when flying. Better ankle support. So, one time I'm flying out of PDX (Portland OR) and I go through the metal detector -- BING BING!
I get wanded, and when they get to my feet, BING BING! They make me take them off and then carry them over to another Xray machine. The dope is telling me "your shoes have metal plates in them. " I know that is ridiculous. It's a lie. I say so. The dope tells me, well, sometimes they put a metal plate in the sole of one "by accident". I say that he's full of shit.
So, to prove me wrong, he takes me over to the xray machine where he says the image from my shoes is still on the screen. Except what is on the screen is obviously a full-sized, calf-high boot -- not like mine at all. Complete bullshit.
What this dope did not know, or did not admit, is that the metal wanding process at Portland Airport was being done without raising your feet off the floor, and the wand was reacting, every time, to the REBAR in the concrete flooring. EVERYONE who got wanded had metal-shanked shoes! Obviously!
Security theater at its best. Or worst.
Now we xray all boots, even metal containing ones, so all a bad guy has to do is put his knife in the sole of his boot and take it out when he gets on the plane. Oh, wait, this is clearly impossible. Never mind.
Re:What's the deal with the rush of TSA stories re (Score:3, Funny)
Reminds me of the scene in Airplane 2 [imdb.com] where the TSA pulls an old lady out of the line and puts a gun to her head while terrorists walk through the metal detector with machine guns in the background.
Kiddie Cavities (Score:3, Funny)
Re:What's the deal with the rush of TSA stories re (Score:3, Funny)
You're absolutely right, thanks for the reminder. I get a demerit on my geek card, but still get to keep it, right?
Re:I never have problems with TSA anymore (Score:5, Funny)
Ah, it's the True Scotsman Phallacy.
Re:What's the deal with the rush of TSA stories re (Score:4, Funny)
The rule works in principle, but we all know the part about best-laid plans.
They usually involve your mom?
Re:What do we expect? (Score:1, Funny)
"The kind of people we can trust not to pat down every hot chick"
Funny you should say that, take a read of this
http://barbaradiamond.blogspot.com/2010/11/how-to-beat-tsa-screeningi-did-it-today.html
"How to beat the TSA screening...I did it today.
Really simple. Stand in line behind the hottest women you can find...they will always get pulled and you get to move to the metal detector. I did this yesterday at PVD. Saw two gorgeous 20yr olds, so I moved into there line.
Both of them were complaining to each other that they thought it was strange they always have to go thru them - and like clockwork they got pulled - had to strip down to their tshirts...and went in the machine...since that was busy they directed me without a thought to the metal detectors."
Re:TSA applying pressure to submit to AIT (Score:4, Funny)
That is a pretty good idea.
I think the next time I'm (fucking) forced to fly (for work), I'll do something similar: I'll insist that I must be frisked by nobody other than a member of the opposite sex (assuming there is one) due to past traumatic experiences of abuse.
Even better, I'll get a note from a psychologist friend of mine who hates this kind of shit saying that anything otherwise might result in a psychological regression.