Intel Buys McAfee 377
Several readers have noted that
Intel has agreed to buy McAfee, the computer antivirus software maker, for about $7.7 billion in cash. There is also a press release available if you are into that sort of thing.
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Intel Buys McAfee
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If all else fails, lower your standards.
Finally... (Score:5, Funny)
McAfee is finally in the hands of someone qualified to figure out how to completely uninstall it.
Wow! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Will they kill it? (Score:5, Funny)
All part of their core business (Score:5, Funny)
Intel plans to release a final update to all Mcafee users that will force uninstall the software from their machines, increasing the performance of Intel systems by 300%.
Re:Finally... (Score:5, Funny)
McAfee is finally in the hands of someone qualified to figure out how to completely uninstall it.
Or at least 99.999967217864781687% of it.
Re:Holy cow (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Finally... (Score:5, Funny)
They intend on replacing the software with a looping .gif that pretends to scan your computer when you click on the icon in the systray. Thus they will continue to provide the same core functionality* at a fraction of the processor capability
*core functionality may consist of, and won't exceed convincing idiots that their computer is secure
What to do, oh what to do... (Score:4, Funny)
A list of better things you could do with $7b:
1. Fill a swimming pool with $100 bills and go nuts.
2. Buy several sky scrappers and blow em up, just for shits and giggles.
3. Buy Kaspersky.
4. Nothing. Absoluetly nothing. Ever again.
Any other suggestions?
Re:Strange (Score:5, Funny)
Makes perfect sense (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Holy cow (Score:3, Funny)
That junk is worth $7bn?
No... Intel was up too late and made an impulse buy. It is trying to see if it can throw in McAfee with its sham-wow and shake-weight to trade for the neighbor's old lawnmower.
Re:Uh (Score:5, Funny)
Assuming they were classy and used $100 bills (volume: 0.69 cubic inches), it would occupy about 4,427,500 cubic feet. Anyone care to take a swing at the weight? d:
mcafee corporate is better then the home ver (Score:3, Funny)
mcafee corporate is better then the home ver and has less bolt in it.
Direct quote from my boss (Score:5, Funny)
"I've got a quarter we can flip to see if this is a good or bad thing."
Re:Wow! (Score:5, Funny)
You could buy a cross country railroad for that kind of money!
Finally, some standard units instead of all this USD nonsense!
Re:Finally... (Score:2, Funny)
Now if you'll excuse me I have to go find my placebos, I mean pills!
Re:mcafee corporate is better then the home ver (Score:4, Funny)
Yep, welded software is way stronger.
Re:Why? (Score:5, Funny)
It's just a research venture. Intel is trying to figure out how McAfee can use up so much of a CPU that it should be put out of its misery.
Nah, Intel actually bought HP - McAfee just came bundled.
Re:Finally... (Score:5, Funny)
Do you mean 1998.999967217864781687?
Re:Finally... (Score:5, Funny)
Do you mean 1998.999967217864781687?
--
My 0.02 cents
Well, that's where your 0.02 cents come handy as:
1998.999967217864781687 + 0.0002 = 1999.
Re:Why? (Score:5, Funny)
But it's only a trial version. After 60 days Intel will have to pay again to keep McAfee for a year.
Re:Strange (Score:3, Funny)
2) Give McAfee Antivirus away free with every AMD based system sold 3) Wait for masses of users to start complaining how slow and unstable the new (McAfee bundled) AMD based systems are. 4) PROFIT!
Re:Why? (Score:4, Funny)
I don't think either would be a wise choice if you're looking for a swift anything.
The login back in the day (Score:3, Funny)
ftp.mcafee.com
licensed
321.
That right there made them more popular than they ever should have been. "everybody had that login"
Re:Why? (Score:3, Funny)
I figure they'll "optimize" it for Intel (read: "detect AMD chips and add delay loops when they find them") then use it as a benchmark in the sort of magazines that pointy haired bosses read.