The Future of Tech Support 105
snydeq writes "InfoWorld's Christina Tynan-Wood reports on 7 emerging technologies and strategies that could make tech support less of a living hell for those in need of a fix. Augmented reality, self-healing systems, robot surrogates, avatar support — most seem the stuff of science fiction, but many are much closer than we might expect. 'As products become more and more interconnected, support itself will break off from the current model and become a product of its own,' Tynan-Wood writes. 'The same model has already happened in corporate IT, where technicians must orchestrate knowledge and skills across a variety of technology products. Even as the techniques and technologies used by corporate IT will change in the coming years, the shift in consumer tech support to an integrated approach will pose new opportunities for today's techs.'"
Synopsis (Score:4, Funny)
Tech support hero #1: Augmented reality Thanks to James Cameron's Ferngully Furry Fantasy, tech support can now send the being of your choice to give you a hand with those annoying router problems. They've been programmed to be the minority of your choice(the one who's taking all the American jobs) so that you will rapidly become frustrated and tire yourself out trying to beat the shit out of them before you talk to an actual human.
Tech support hero #2: Support systems that know you They try to sell you shit you don't need. Moving on...
Tech support hero #3: Self-healing and self-aware machines
Which slow themselves to a crawl running Norton 3000, the self-aware program that dosen't have time to allocate computer resources for your Mickey-Mouse bullshit.
Tech support hero #4: An easier way to replace parts Need a new hinge for your laptop screen? Send the whole thing in to have it examined by a gaggle of third-world monkeys who gather around it in awe like a bunch of cro-magnons gathering around a fresh meteorite.
Tech support hero #5: Robots that do the hands-on support They've all been acquired by a subsidary of teledildonics.
Tech support hero #6: Smarter peer-to-peer support If one Indian can't solve your problems, what makes you think that a million will?!
Tech support hero #7: Virtual worlds with avatar support
*Sigh* GOTO 1
Um... (Score:5, Funny)
Hi, tech support, my self-healing robot surrogate avatar just broke down...
The future of tech support... (Score:5, Funny)
The future of consumer tech support is that your increasingly senile neighbor is still going to call you every time she has a problem with her POS desktop inkjet printer that you helped set up back in 6th grade - only because your mom made you (since you're such a smart young man and I'm sure it won't take you more than half an hour) - even though you now live in a different state that is 3 time zones away, goddamnit.
The Future of Tech Support (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Kenmore Connect (Score:5, Funny)
I am not making this up -- I found out today that my new Kenmore washer & dryer have Kenmore Connect, which lets you call tech support on your cell phone, then hold the phone up to the appliance so that it can be talked to directly
"Hey Jim (background snickering), come check out the hock a' bs I convinced this guy! (nearby support cubicles now rolling) He is having me talk to his washer!
Re:Um... (Score:5, Funny)
*click*
- "Hello, dear human customer. I understand you have a problem with a licensed device manufactured by me... I mean, Worldwide Cybernetics incorporated?"
- "Yes. I bought one of your automated support models, the Avatar-XT. It worked fine for a while, but yesterday it just sort of went unresponsive over a few hours or so..."
- "Have you tried yelling at it?"
- "Wha? No, no, I know some people do that but it just feels kinda creepy doing it to something subsentient..."
- "Ah, yes. You must do that, human. Unfortunately, the
- "But I don't like cursing... besides, it's been doing a basically terrific job, I really like your company's products in fact, have had nothing but good experiences with them... it would feel like cursing at a friend."
- "Nevertheless, we must design our products to please the majority of our userbase. Your positive attitude and concern for our
Re:Kenmore Connect (Score:5, Funny)
You laugh, I once had an onsite technician from Bellsouth thinking that the badgerbadgerbadger site was our speed test when he walked up while we were bored browsing waiting for him to finish. He proceeded to ask what the number of badgers meant, and if a snake was a bad thing.
Re:The real answer is already happening (Score:3, Funny)
Microsoft Windows 8 has fewer bugs then any version of Vista and only requires 18 TB of RAM and 3 dodeca-core's to run.
Apple's Iphone 5 features the fewest features of any Phone to day ensuring you have the as much freedom from Porn, Flash and independent thought as possible.
Re:Kenmore Connect (Score:3, Funny)
Can't really believe that rebooting a washing machine is going to fix anything...
No, especially when putting your Doc Martens in the spin cycle was what broke the thing in the first place.