Times Are Tough For Nigerian Scammers

The Narrative Fallacy writes "The Washington Post reports that online swindling takes dedication even in the best of times but succeeding in the midst of a worldwide economic meltdown takes patience, resolve, and hard work. 'We are working harder. The financial crisis is not making it easy for them over there,' said Banjo, 24, speaking about Americans, whose trust he has won and whose money he has fleeced, via his Dell laptop. 'They don't have money. And the money they don't have, we want.' US authorities say Americans — the easiest prey, according to Nigerian scammers — still lose hundreds of millions of dollars a year to cybercrimes, including a scheme known as the Nigerian 419 fraud, named for a section of the Nigerian criminal code. 419 is cemented in Nigerian popular culture. and the scammers, known as 'yahoo-yahoo boys,' are glorified in pop songs such as 'Yahoozee,' which gained even more fame after former secretary of state Colin L. Powell danced to it at a London festival last year."

Well, obviously...

[fuzzyfuzzyfungus]

If these Nigerian scammers were any good, they'd be working at Goldman Sachs, not pulling penny-ante internet operations...

I can stop this!

[assemblerex]

Hello I am a Nigerian judge Mumbasa Mfune III. I am collecting funds to create a task force to reclaim lost monies in Nigeria.

If you have lost monies in Nigeria, for the low donation of $2500, I can reclaim ALL lost assets.

Please contact me immediately at [e-mail]

Re:Why didn't the interviewer kill the guys?

[Anonymous Coward]

I am sorry what happened to you. There's a guy on this thread, Judge Mumbasa Mfune III. He can help you to recover your lost money!
Stop having these feelings of revenge. You can have your money back, now! Just Call Judge Mumbasa!

Re:I can stop this!

[The Grim Reefer2]

Hello I am a Nigerian judge Mumbasa Mfune III.
I am collecting funds to create a task force to reclaim lost monies in Nigeria.

If you have lost monies in Nigeria, for the low donation of $2500, I can reclaim ALL lost assets.

Please contact me immediately at [e-mail]

Dear honorable Mumbasa Mfune III,

Please relay your GPS coordinates so that I can send you a package from orbit..Err I mean airdrop the cash.

Kind regards,

TGR2

Re:Why didn't the interviewer kill the guys?

[Culture20]

He probably thinks of himself as a neutral party just reporting the news.

"With enemies you know where they stand but with neutrals? Who knows! It sickens me."
"What makes a man turn neutral ... Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?"

Tough indeed...

[neokushan]

There must be some kind of famine or something in Nigeria, I've received about 15 emails in the last 3 months, all from people telling me their father/brother/uncle/etc. had "caught death". Terrible!
And to make matters worse, they can't get the money that's rightfully theirs from the banks! Honestly, something should really be done about this.

Re:Why didn't the interviewer kill the guys?

[LearnToSpell]

I don't know... living in New York myself, sweat like a pig in the swampy hellhole, where he gets to slap some stupid jitney driver in the unending clusterfuck they call traffic, and suck down a lukewarm coke in the muddy concrete and cardboard dump he calls home sounds exactly like here. You get those locales backwards or something?

Re:I can stop this!

[cbraescu1]

Your honor,

Could you please reclaim monies lost by Madoff?

Awaiting your reply,

John Doe

You can make it out to me! :)

[Shakrai]

Who should I make the check out to?

My name is 'Shakrai' but my good friends call me 'Cash' :)

Re:Well, obviously...

[fuzzyfuzzyfungus]

The former live in a backwater that escapes the label "dystopian" only through lack of technological development, while the latter have a revolving door between Wall Street and government all across the first world?

Re:Well, obviously...

[oldhack]

Damn straight. Nobody scams better.

USA! USA!

Damn.

Re:breaking my heart

[Tubal-Cain]

I was going to make a post that indirectly pointed out that "Internet Scams" would be a little out of place on a Class Schedule, but then I realized that school calls it "English 101".

Scammers getting scammed

[mnemotronic]

When I read the article, the thing that struck me was that the scammers are so desperate, they trying voodoo majic to boost their believability. One guy has a live tortoise hanging around his neck to boost his mojo. Sounds like a market ripe for a new product idea:

Your sma11 unit sales got you down? Bulk up that member ship!

Girls find you more attractive with our herbal honesty reproduction enhancer. Get more faith-time from those gullible Americans with new ultra power Premier gold medal deluxe Truth Be Told powder. Distilled from the pulverized testicles of tobacco company lawyers, this is genuine disingenuity at it's most potent concentration. Guaranteed to have them eating out of the palm of your hand, you will be invincible in email encounters.

http://gxzyxkqkdjh.cn/ [gxzyxkqkdjh.cn]

Blame Nintendo and Rare software.

[dicobalt]

Imagine being tricked by a con artist named Banjo. I wonder if he has a friend Kazooie.

Re:Interesting Difference in Genetics

[Anonymous Coward]

I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Re:Interesting Difference in Genetics

[Philip_the_physicist]

Whatever happens, we have got
the Gatling gun, and they have not

- from a poem about the Abyssinian campaign

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:breaking my heart

[ta bu shi da yu]

I don't know - but when you read that the scammers are being effectively scammed themselves, it warms my heart.

But in these tough times, the scammers said, they are relying more on a crucial tool: voodoo. At times, Banjo said, he has traveled six hours to the forest, where a magician sells scam-boosters. A $300 powder supposedly helps scammers "speak with authority" when demanding payment. A powder, rubbed on the face, reportedly makes victims viewing the scammer through webcams powerless to say no.

"No matter what, they will pay," said Olumide, a college student, adding that he is boosting his romance scams by wearing a magical, live tortoise hanging from a cord around his neck.

Re:I can stop this!

[Anonymous Coward]

Good Day Judge Mfune III,

I am acting as administrator for a large US company with millions of dollars in Government Bailouts as well as valuable IP. The company is seeking to move large sums of capital offshore before any chapter 11 action is taken.

Please provide your bank account no.
name and address
telephone number
credit card details
mothers maiden name
pets name etc.

You will be reimbursed 10% of all transactions routed via your account as compensation for your services.

Blah, Blah, blahdy Blah.

An American CEO.

Re:Interesting Difference in Genetics

[Hatta]

It's like a radio call in contest, once you win you have to let someone else have a chance.

Re:Interesting Difference in Genetics

[Arcady13]

Now I have a machine gun.

Ho Ho Ho

Re:Too bad, niggers

[Shakrai]

It is actually mildly amusing. I was just annoyed because I haven't seen a single mod point in almost a year and yet someone mods up nigger jokes is apparently getting them. Maybe that's what I should have been doing more of back when I was getting them :)