Spammer Alan Ralsky Pleads Guilty 144
Czmyt sends the excellent news that one of the US's most notorious spammers has pleaded guilty and could serve 6 years in jail. "Five individuals pleaded guilty today in federal court in Detroit for their roles in a wide-ranging international stock fraud scheme involving the illegal use of bulk commercial e-mails, or 'spamming'... Alan M. Ralsky, 64, of West Bloomfield, Mich., and Scott K. Bradley, 38, also of West Bloomfield, both pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit wire fraud, mail fraud and to violate the CAN-SPAM Act. ... Ralsky and Bradley also pleaded guilty to wire fraud, money laundering, and violating the CAN-SPAM Act. Under the terms of his plea agreement, Ralsky acknowledges he is facing up to 87 months in prison and a $1 million fine..."
Re:Judgement (Score:5, Funny)
We do have more lamp posts.
An old Nigerian Tradition (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Judgement (Score:5, Funny)
Hey, at least those execs and investors didn't clog up my inbox with V|agr@ ads
1999 called. They want their spamfilter back.
Re:Judgement (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, we should only allow company executives and rich investors to take vast amounts of money through share price manipulation.
Not to worry. If there are three things we have in abundance, it's rope, lamp posts and gasoline.
Plan of action (Score:5, Funny)
Once he's in jail, we need to find out who his cellmate is, so we can send him inordinate amounts of penis enlargement ads.
Re:Math (Score:5, Funny)
Thanks for the in depth analysis...
Summary fix (Score:3, Funny)
"...Ralsky acknowledges he is facing up to 87 months in A FEDERAL, POUND-ME-IN-THE-ASS prison..."
There, fixed it.
Spam revitalises local economies! (Score:4, Funny)
Email filtering company MessageLabs reports that Egham, Surrey, on the suburban outskirts of London, is the town that receives the most spam in Britain [today.com].
"It's not like there's much else to do," said Boris Busybody, 77 (IQ), of Egham Hythe, idly whirling his four-foot penis around his head in a desultory fashion. "Expanding your manhood, growing your breasts, increasing your sperm ... the Lib Dem phone calls get a bit much. That's Doctor Busybody, by the way. My Ph.D arrived last week."
Spam has revitalised the local economy. Busybody has given up cab driving and is now working a lucrative job processing payments from home after he sent them his bank details in response to an urgent security message. "I had that King Otumfuo Opoku Ware II in the back of my cab once. Very generous and helpful fellow."
The Egham Tourist Board has seized the day, with plans for a 50 foot tall penis sculpture at Junction 13 of the M25 on the exit ramp to the town. The sculpture will be encircled by a genuine imitation Rolex and spray a fountain of Spermamax, obtained at a very reasonable rate from a Canadian pharmacy. "You will search an hour for your underwear in the ocean of our spam!" is to become the new town motto.
"I did get a good one the other day," says Busybody. "Barrister Matthew Sergeant Busybody of MessageLabs said we could promote our town to millions of people just by sending them an advance fee to process our incoming email. The stuff they try! 'Scuse me, V!k@grk@ kicking in, got to go have sex again. Sorry."
Re:Judgement (Score:2, Funny)
Lamp.
Re:Forget the prison sentence. (Score:3, Funny)
you're right, we should just kill him.
Re:A bit of a bummer (Score:4, Funny)
It is when I do it in my clown suit.