Vista Post-SP2 Is the Safest OS On the Planet 1010
pkluss noted Kevin Turner, COO of Microsoft making the proclamation that "Vista today, post-Service Pack 2, which is now in the marketplace, is the safest, most reliable OS we've ever built. It's also the most secure OS on the planet, including Linux and open source and Apple Leopard. It's the safest and most secure OS on the planet today."
I have a feeling.... (Score:5, Funny)
That this thread will consist only of positive remarks, and supportive statements towards Microsoft.
Please don't (Score:5, Funny)
In the history of man there have been several cases of fatal hilarity(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fatal_Hilarity) and this article might inflict this seemingly comical effect on technically concious people.
Posting an article like this without thinking about the consequences might actually hurt and kill people. Please don't.
Re:I have a feeling.... (Score:4, Funny)
That this thread will consist only of positive remarks, and supportive statements towards Microsoft.
Well, they make some dandy keyboards and mice, and I've always been a fan of Flight Simulator...
...but that's about all I got here. OS X FTW!
Fools? (Score:3, Funny)
Checks date on the article. No, still not the 1st (though eight days different).
Well, somebody's a fool.
Re:what? (Score:2, Funny)
But it IS the safest - it now fails to boot.
time machine (Score:1, Funny)
What did he compare to, System 7 and Linux kernel 1.0?
post SP2? (Score:5, Funny)
Did he mention that Vista post SP2, there is no network stack? Fwoppies FTW!
Comment removed (Score:3, Funny)
"Cancel or Allow" (Score:3, Funny)
Yep, most secure, indeed!
In further news... (Score:5, Funny)
Richard Stallman announced in a press conference today that Emacs is the safest operating system on the planet. According to Stallman Emacs is safer than Linux, Windows Vista, or Apple's Mac OS X.
There's always a get-out clause (Score:5, Funny)
oops (Score:4, Funny)
"..It's also the most secure OS on the planet, including Linux and open source and Apple Leopard. It's the safest and most secure OS on the planet today.... oh...uh.... i mean NOT including.. NOT including, sorry i misread that part, it actually says NOT including so.... can i start again please?"
Re:today.... (Score:3, Funny)
5 bucks says some exploits launch just to poke holes in their statement.
Next major worm will only target Vista and will spam MS addresses with
EPIC FAIL
This spam was sent from a compromised Vista machine.
I see what you did there (Score:1, Funny)
Flight Simulator ... grounded.
Please leave and never come back.
Awesome! (Score:4, Funny)
Security through obscurity?
Brilliant!
What planet? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Fools? (Score:5, Funny)
Only 8 days late? For M$, that's better than their normal delivery.
In other NON-News... (Score:5, Funny)
Also, Tom Long, CEO of Miller Brewing Company announced, "Our beer is the best tasting beer in the world!"
Here's a template: [Insert Person's Name Here], [insert title here] of [insert company name here] [announced|proclaimed|stated|declared|quothed] "[insert company's product here] is the [insert positive attribute here] in the entire [world|planet|universe]."
Repeat, ad infinitum.
Re:I have a feeling.... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:In further news... (Score:5, Funny)
Richard Stallman announced in a press conference today that Emacs is the safest operating system on the planet. According to Stallman Emacs is safer than Linux, Windows Vista, or Apple's Mac OS X.
Yes, but it's missing a decent text editor.
Re:is the safest, most reliable OS we've ever buil (Score:3, Funny)
Yes, it can. It just has to run over a few cars first. :)
Why is it secure? (Score:1, Funny)
Thats because we are never going to let SP2 out of our vault ... that's why!
Re:See a problem? Check Vista SP2's release date (Score:5, Funny)
You are missing the point. SP2 is secure because no one can hack it. No one can hack it, because it hasn't been released. Microsoft has finially discovered how to ensure their products are invunerable to hackers, simply never release anything.
I pray they will only roll this technology forward to all future product lines...
No shit? (Score:1, Funny)
Probably because nothing runs on vista. Not even viruses.
Unsupported claims. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I have a feeling.... (Score:5, Funny)
Socialism is a form of government not a software license.
Windows Rulz! (Score:2, Funny)
Oh, wait this is Slashdot! Sorry.
Linux rulz and Windoze Sux! If you use Windows you're a luzr!
---
Posted on my iPhone.
Re:I have a feeling.... (Score:4, Funny)
He seems to always be spouting drivel and trash.
It's true! (Score:3, Funny)
Dave Barry to the rescue (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I have a feeling.... (Score:5, Funny)
IE will NOT fill your computer with child porn! (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft is reeling from the vicious and unwarranted slanders [today.com] of security companies and the US government's Computer Emergency Response Team that its Internet Explorer web browser has alleged "security holes" or is in any way less than the finest software known to mankind and excellent value for your money.
The festering paedophiles of CERT have gone so outrageously far as to make the ludicrous claim that just viewing a malicious webpage in IE could leave your computer open to being hacked and turned into a Russian Mafia spam server. "We don't know what could have triggered such vindictiveness," sobbed Microsoft marketing marketer's marketer Steve Ballmer. "Do they hate free enterprise that much?"
There are things you can do to make your computing experience even more secure. Microsoft's official suggestion -- make sure your anti-virus software is up to date and using an entire CPU doing nothing much, click through five screens to run IE in "protected mode," click through four screens to set zone security to "high," click "JUST BLOODY DO IT WILL YOU" when the User Access Control asks if you really want to do this, enable automatic updates with the minor side-effect of installing Microsoft DRM on your system or Windows Genuine Advantage randomly turning your computer into a paperweight, and sacrifice a goat to Microsoft at midnight on a moonless night -- is simple and straightforward. "It's the quality you're paying for."
On no account should you consider that there might be other web browsers out there, as researchers have demonstrated that all of them automatically download the cover of Virgin Killer. "I saw a report," said marketing marketer John Curran of Microsoft Completely Enderlependent Analysts, Inc., "that another browser had more vulnerabilities than ours! People would be very foolish indeed to move from the latest IE to Netscape 4.01."
"These CERT wankers are Mactards and trolls," said Guardian marketing marketer Jack Schofield. "They just want to take IE users out, brutally sodomise them, gas them in concentration camps and" [This comment has been removed by a Guardian moderator. Replies may also be deleted.]
Re:I have a feeling.... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I have a feeling.... (Score:2, Funny)
Not all of them.
I paid her 5 dollars and all I got was syphilis!
Re:In other NON-News... (Score:3, Funny)
Killmenow, user of Slashdot, stated, "My template is the best in the entire world."
Re:I have a feeling.... (Score:5, Funny)
in the olden days... *snigger*.
In the real olden days it was mislabeled reel tapes
Re:I have a feeling.... (Score:5, Funny)
amazing framerates of 1 and maybe 2
Would I be correct in assuming the obvious of 1 to 2 frames per pineapple, or are we dealing with a non standard unit here?
Re:I have a feeling.... (Score:3, Funny)
Age of Empires [badgods.com] was fun.
Re:The problematic truth (Score:4, Funny)
Re:I have a feeling.... (Score:1, Funny)
I resent that accusation.
Hah! Beat tat Windows suckers (Score:4, Funny)
I installed Zenwalk Linux on my 79 year old Mom's compromised (by malware) XP computer two weeks ago.
Linux can run on 79 year old hardware.
Re:The problematic truth (Score:4, Funny)
I'm sure I can't speak for everyone here, but I have Vista simply because it works. No, it's not perfect. Yes, Microsoft always seems to fall a bit short when polishing their GUIs. But even though Vista annoys me, it annoys me less than XP did and far less than any Linux distro I've ever tried.
Seriously, if all the major Linux distro groups would just quit their bitching and work together, it could be amazing. But there is just way too much fragmentation right now. I really wish Red Hat would have absorbed Suse instead of Novell.
Re:I have a keyboard... (Score:1, Funny)
Seriously, though, XP supports 5-button mice and out of the box. Not sure about keyboards
Xp supports 5-button keyboards out of the box too.
Re:That's great... (Score:1, Funny)
>I'm actually typing this in Internet Explorer 8 on Windows Vista Business SP1 32-bit on a Pentium M 1.4 GHz with 1 GB RAM, and it's actually quite snappy.
Pics or it didn't happen.