Worm Attack Prompts DoD To Ban Use of External Media

An anonymous reader writes "The Pentagon has suffered from a cyber attack so alarming that it has taken the unprecedented step of banning the use of external hardware devices, such as flash drives and DVDs [...] The attack came in the form of a global virus or worm that is spreading rapidly throughout a number of military networks."

heh

[Anonymous Coward]

be careful where you stick in the USB stick.. :)

In Soviet Russia...

[markov_chain]

... external media bans DOD! [slashdot.org]

Warfare without Clippy?

[robinsonne]

It looks like you're trying to blow up that building. Would you like to use:

1)Grenade
2)An RPG
3)Airstrike

commercial malware?

[bl8n8r]

ftfa: "Due to the presence of commercial malware.."
So.. this was malware someone purchased?

./configure

[robo_mojo]

make war

The debilitating virus is Windows!

[David Gerard]

Yesterday, a terrorist attack on the NHS [today.com] brought three London hospitals to a halt.

The terrorists, representing an organisation calling itself "Microsoft," apparently used insecure third-party contractors to put a virus-running platform called "Windows" into critical systems in the hospitals, in order to extort money from them on an annual basis.

It is understood that a large percentage of all businesses are infected with the virus, wasting up to 25% of employees' working time and opening the companies to further attacks from related criminal organisations demanding to see all their licenses.

The virus in question, W32.SHILL/ZDNET, takes over the host's IT systems, leading to aches, pains, nausea, vomiting, pumping out prodigious quantities of faeces and a terrible compulsion to spread the infection to others. The patient also walks with a shuddering stumble and asks for their hospital meal to include tasty, tasty brains. Recovery has commenced when they have an overwhelming urge to throw their computer out of the window. "Getting this stuff out of the system makes MRSA look like a walk in the park," said one cleaner, waving his shit-encrusted hands about for emphasis.

When the infection became known, ambulances were diverted to other hospitals. "We have maintained a safe environment for our patients throughout the incident," said a spokesman for Barts NHS Trust, "keeping them in the Clostridium difficile culturing lab rather than risking exposing them to 'Windows.'"

Re:Warfare without Clippy?

[haystor]

4)Windows

Skynet

[GottliebPins]

Skynet became self-aware at 2:14am EDT. By the time Skynet became self-aware, it had spread into millions of computer servers across the planet. Ordinary computers in office buildings, dorm rooms, everywhere. It was software in cyberspace. There was no system core. It could not be shut down.

Re:./configure

[supernova_hq]

Loading deprecated library: Democracy Exporter

Re:commercial malware?

[supernova_hq]

Until Windows is free, yes it is commercial malware.

DoD needs a security nazi ( soup nazi style )

[unix_geek_512]

DoD needs a security nazi ( soup nazi style ).

Since I am the 2nd most paranoid person on earth I hereby nominate myself.

Semper Fi, carry on.

Re:The obvious solution

[Naturalis Philosopho]

Oh, just logistics... I feel much better now. ;)

Re:They're just ignoring the real problem

[diegocgteleline.es]

d'oh, were I write "carpet" I obviously wanted to say "folder". "Folder" is translated to spanish as "carpeta", and I always confuse them.

Re:try this..

[Cajun Hell]

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\policies\Explorer] "NoDriveTypeAutoRun"=dword:000000ff

That's the whole problem with you Linux dorks! People shouldn't have to get down to that level and do such obscure things, just to be able to safely use their computer. And what you don't understand is that most people just plain won't do it! Your post is exactly why Linux will never be ready for the desktop!

Re:Warfare without Clippy?

[DarthJohn]

5) Banana Bomb
6) Super Sheep
7) Holy Hand-Grenade

Re:Auto-infect

[Dr_Barnowl]

credit cards should have rolling pins

For a moment I pictured a credit card making pastry.

Re:Skynet

[psnyder]

The pieces are finally starting to come together...

• Skynet [wikipedia.org] was first introduced in a film staring Arnold Schwarzenegger [wikipedia.org].
• Arnold Schwarzenegger was born on July 30th.
• On July 30th, 2007 (10 years after Skynet became aware), CrunchGear runs an article [crunchgear.com] about MojoPac, a program that "Puts Your Desktop On A USB Drive". The very type of interface the DoD now sees as a threat. In the article they state that when you use MojoPac, "...the host computer is oblivious to anything going on."
• Foxnews reported the DoD attack [foxnews.com] on November 20th, 2008. On the same day, the music news magazine, named "Mojo" (following suit with the "MojoPac" software name), ran a snippet [mojo4music.com] saying, "Gun's and Roses are currently previewing all the tracks from Chinese Democracy via their MySpace page." MySpace is an obvious front for Skynet to keep tabs on the younger generations that may pose a threat in the future.
• However, the Mojo article about "Chinese Democracy" was Skynet's way of mocking us in an ironic way that only Skynet finds funny. You see, Arnold Schwarzenegger visited China [specialoly...stasia.org] meeting with "700 Special Olympics athletes ... to focus world attention on the Special Olympics World Summer Games ... held in Shanghai in 2007." Here we see 2007 again, representing the 10 year anniversary of Skynet's sentience, along with Arnold, the celebrity that announced it's existance.

It's all so clear now.

Re:./configure

[jmyers]

# make clean
# ./configure --force
# make war
# make install
boom copied to /usr/local/bin
please edit /usr/local/etc/war.conf and set COUNTRY
#

Re:./configure

[svank]

make war

make[3]: *** [war] Error 1 make[3]: make love not war

[sam@Hector ~]$ make love
make: *** No rule to make target `love'. Falling back to 'war'.
[sam@Hector ~]$

Re:This isn't alarming...

[Anonymous Coward]

Why is everything in Windows managed by tools that do not come with the default installation

We prefer to be called administrators you insensitive clod.

Re:./configure

[genner]

# make clean # ./configure --force # make war # make install boom copied to /usr/local/bin please edit /usr/local/etc/war.conf and set COUNTRY #

vi /usr/local/etc/war.conf
COUNTRY="TERROR"
:w
:q
/bin/war
Starting war on TERROR...
Error: TERROR is not a valid COUNTRY.