Greek Hackers Target CERN's LHC 445
Doomsayers Delight writes "The Telegraph reports that Greek hackers were able to gain momentary access to a CERN computer system of the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) while the first particles were zipping around the particle accelerator on September 10th. 'Scientists working at CERN, the organization that runs the vast smasher, were worried about what the hackers could do because they were "one step away" from the computer control system of one of the huge detectors of the machine, a vast magnet that weighs 12,500 tons, measuring around 21 meters in length and 15 meters wide/high. If they had hacked into a second computer network, they could have turned off parts of the vast detector and, said the insider, "it is hard enough to make these things work if no one is messing with it."'"
Re:Why is that even possible? (Score:5, Funny)
security updates?
Re:This begs the question (Score:3, Funny)
Windows updates.
Greek Hackers (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Why is that even possible? (Score:2, Funny)
Well the world WOULDN'T have ended... (Score:5, Funny)
but some jackasses decided to mess with things they knew nothing about.
I'll get my towel.
Re:Why is that even possible? (Score:5, Funny)
Vista needs to phone home for activation.
Computer security rocket science (Score:5, Funny)
LHC webcams (Score:5, Funny)
http://www.cyriak.co.uk/lhc/lhc-webcams.html [cyriak.co.uk]
Watch it for a minute, you can see the effects the hackers are having on them.
My BAD.... (Score:3, Funny)
I was told I could download Spore without DRM from that IP.
Epic FAIL (Score:2, Funny)
What could have been:
Cracker1: Cool, looks like we got into the outer network, let's try the inner one.
Cracker2: OK, try this...
Cracker1: What's this program "/staff/sfalken/games/Tictacto.exe [wikipedia.org]"
Cracker2: I don't know, let's try it.
Cracker1: OK.
*EARTH-SHATTERING BOOM*
God: It's the end of the world as I made it, and I feel fine.
Re:Greek Hackers (Score:3, Funny)
Any chance they had a Trojan Horse at the ready?
No, but leave it to them to find a back door.
Did they use a Trojan? (Score:5, Funny)
Sneaky Greeks.
Re:Greek Hackers (Score:2, Funny)
"Any chance they had a Trojan Horse at the ready?"
Maybe, but I think the prospect of penetrating a big, dark tunnel was too much of a temptation.
Re:Why is that even possible? (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, right, as if the LHC has enough horsepower to run Vista!
Re:Why is that even possible? (Score:3, Funny)
Wonder how they broke in? Through the backdoor of course.
In other words: The Large Hadron Collider was Greeked
Are you sure they're Greek hackers? (Score:3, Funny)
Great, a Geek-induced Pepsi Syndrome (Score:4, Funny)
Male Reporter #1: What about the accident here at the plant?
Ross Denton: That what? Oh yes, yes, the accident. Uh, let me give you a little uh, technical, uh, background here. [ shows a diagram of a nuclear reactor pointing to nuclear energy, pointing to a toaster. ] This is a nuclear reactor. Now, the nuclear fuel here is used to generate energy here, which is sent to your homes to make toast.
Male Reporter #2: But what about the accident?
Ross Denton: I was getting to that. Sometime yesterday afternoon we experienced what we like to call a surprise. And, well, we had to release some radioactive steam.
Female Reporter #1: Well, how much radiation are we being exposed to right now?
Ross Denton: Well, I'm sure all of us here have been to the doctor and had our chest x-ray, haven't we? Well, it's just like that, only it's as if the doctor had to give you the chest x-ray over, and over, and over again. Or, it's like falling asleep under a sun lamp for a week or two! Or, it's like drying your hair in a microwave oven! And to give you some idea of how little danger there actually is, President Carter will be here tomorrow. Now, gentlemen, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Yes, I'm sorry I have to cut this press conference short, but now I'd like to hand the stage over to the Two Mile players! They're a pro-nuclear mime troope, and they're going to perform a little skit for you, kids!
*** Ross Denton: Good afternoon, good afternoon, ladies and gentleman of the press. First, as to the president's condition, let me say that the president is feeling certainly "stronger" than he's ever felt. And he would like to be with us right here, in this room if he could. I think now I'll just open the door to questions-
Female Reporter #1: Yes, is it true that the president is 100 feet tall?
Ross Denton: Nooooo! Absolutely not!
Male reporter #3: Is the president 90 feet tall?
Ross Denton: No comment.
Professor Farnsworth would say... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Why is that even possible? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Why is that even possible? (Score:5, Funny)
No, the zeros don't weight anything.
IBM (Score:3, Funny)
Maybe if IBM had been in the LHC business rather than the computer business in the 70s, they'd have been right to dismiss the personal LHC in favor one or two LHCs worldwide that everyone uses.
or somesuch.
you question the actions of the scientists? (Score:4, Funny)
remember: everything PhDs do is art. everything. including using their alma mater's mascot name as their password. art, i tell you!
Re:Why is that even possible? (Score:2, Funny)
Big Bang is trying to access your system.
Confirm or Deny?
Confucius Say (Score:2, Funny)
Confucius Say "large toroidal machine always have security hole in middle."
Re:Greek Hackers (Score:3, Funny)
Or wine trucks, Or what ever European Nerds drink. Does anyone know?
Re:Why is that even possible? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Why is that even possible? (Score:2, Funny)
This simply isn't an acceptable way of distributing information. Their brief notices on minor pages away from the real information are about as useful as a house demolition order being posted in a basement with no stairs or lights.
It was on display on the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the Leopard.'
Re:IBM (Score:3, Funny)
if i use gentoo on my personal LHC, will i have to build the LHC from quarks? and how will i get through all those package incompatibilities? (i love gentoo, but had to poke fun anyways.)
Re:you question the actions of the scientists? (Score:1, Funny)
Guy who used to live near me was an engineer who had worked for a major aerospace company, worked on the Space Shuttle among other things. Guy endlessly fixed his own car (if you'd have known his wife you'd understand why.)
Yet he was unable to properly insert an ink cartridge into his ink-jet printer.
Re:I don't need no stinking forklift (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Why is that even possible? (Score:5, Funny)
Aristotles Revenge (Score:2, Funny)
2300 years later and they STILL carry a grudge against atomic theories.
Can't you just let it go guys? We're not made up out of earth, wind, fire and air. Not even if you succeed at blowing the LHC to Hades.
Re:Why is that even possible? (Score:3, Funny)
Then they can create a one way data warehouse dump of the data on a daily basis.
Just have the LHC create some nice little black holes and dump the data into them. One way data warehouse, with absolutely perfect data security.
(sorry, couldn't resist...)