McAfee Artemis Claims Protection Online, On-the-Fly 107
Seems like McAfee has created a new Internet-based service to provide active protection on the fly when a PC gets hit by malicious computer code. "[Artemis] is a lot faster than traditional methodologies and it closes the gap between when a piece of malware is written, discovered, analyzed and protected against ... Artemis is available at no charge as part of McAfee VirusScan Enterprise or McAfee Total Protection Service for small and medium-sized businesses. Artemis is also available for McAfee's consumer products, where the functionality is called Active Protection."
And I bet... (Score:5, Funny)
* Requirements in Vista may be higher
Re:This is why you read the fine print... (Score:5, Funny)
No, this is why *you* read TFA and summarize it for us. Real slashdotters can't be bothered, you insensitive clod!
Cool ... addvertising (Score:3, Funny)
G
Re:And I bet... (Score:5, Funny)
...it'll only take 128MB of RAM and 30% of your processor!* **
* Requirements in Vista may be higher
**Home users and other non-enterprise users may need to sacrifice a goat for acceptable performance. Please send Proof of Sacrifice to:
3965 Freedom Circle
Santa Clara, CA 95054
USA
In the event that you cannot supply a Proof of Sacrifice: Please wait for Earth to acquire a second moon and we may let your browser connect to websites, in which case you can find more about our alternative methods.
Online, on-the-fly protection by Artemis ... (Score:2, Funny)
... sounds like divine intervention to me :)
Close your eyes, praise the Gods, offer them some CPU cycles. If you're a man of moral virtue, don't tackle Eros too much and make your annual trip to the oracle (not the false ones, those that accept VISA), nothing bad will happen!
*runs in sandals with money clinging under his robes*
Re:And I bet... (Score:5, Funny)
* Customers may opt out of this offer by finding checking the disabled checkbox that says "opt out" on the hidden page on our website. WARNING: If you somehow manage to opt out, we'll take it personally.
(I'm just waiting for the day my account gets automatically upgraded to the point where it starts automatically buying shares in McAfee)
Re:Flawed methodology (Score:5, Funny)
Good security isn't something you "band aid", it's something you design from the beginning.
Yes, but that still doesn't work. You'd have to remove the human element. Enough nuking from orbit should remove both the virus creator and the hapless user, so as long as you protect the actual computer from the EMPs during the bombardment that's probably the safest way to go.
So what are we to take from "Artemis"? (Score:4, Funny)
If your computer is infected by a virus, it prays to be shot by one of Artemis's silver arrows so that it may die a swift and painless death? Is that it?
Re:Flawed methodology (Score:3, Funny)
"By definition, it only 'catches' compromises AFTER THEY ARE SUCCESSFUL."
So if I download "leetwarez.rar" from the intertubes and my AV program flags it as a known trojan, at which point was my system compromised? Was it BEFORE or AFTER I didn't run the infected program?
What a timely announcement (Score:4, Funny)
Spore comes out today: perfect timing!
At last I can install EA games [wikipedia.org] with confidence! And perhaps play a music CD from Sony [wikipedia.org]!