Spam King and Family Dead In Murder-Suicide 1081
Lt.Hawkins was one of many readers sending in word that the escaped spam king discussed yesterday was found dead in Colorado, after apparently killing his wife and 3-year-old daughter. A teenager was injured, and an infant was found alive in the car.
beware (Score:5, Funny)
spam kills
The King is dead (Score:1, Funny)
Long live the (Spam) King!
Comment removed (Score:4, Funny)
So this is the guy that inspired the name... (Score:5, Funny)
SpamAssassin
The sign on the way out (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Coward. (Score:5, Funny)
You're just jealous because he went one better than you. Right, Hans?
Re:Coward. (Score:5, Funny)
As an atheist, it does make me wish there really was a hell for guys like this.
The christians have it so easy sometimes :)
Re:A couple more details (Score:2, Funny)
A raft of products? Where do they get these units of measurement?
Re:Woo! (Score:2, Funny)
Chastising someone for celebrating someone killing their family. Fuck you.
Re:I understand running away from prison... but (Score:5, Funny)
He got tired of having his box filled with unsolicited male?
(Shamelessly stolen from Fark)
Re:This quote says it all (Score:3, Funny)
if you're not one going in
Que?
Re:So this is the guy that inspired the name... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Coward. (Score:5, Funny)
I always say that I'd like to meet the Atheist who doesn't say "god damn it" or "go to hell," and he lesbian that doesn't use a dildo... but they both seem to be very elusive specimens.
Re:This quote says it all (Score:4, Funny)
There are no guilty men in prison, haven't you heard? Everyone in there is innocent...
Re:beware (Score:1, Funny)
If I'd only enlarged my penis, this wouldn't have happened!
Re:I understand running away from prison... but (Score:5, Funny)
Re:This is on all of us (Score:3, Funny)
*twists open the throttle on the Karmacycle* WEEEE!!!
Re:yes yes YES!!!!! (Score:3, Funny)
Dude, have you even been there? The chair looks merciful by comparison.
Re:Coward. (Score:2, Funny)
The right metaphor for the right time (Score:5, Funny)
Well, "Flying Spaghetti Monster damn it!" doesn't really roll off the tongue that well, plus he's not as much into fire and damnation. So, you know, it would end up a bit on par with, "Dear Enemy, I curse you and hope something slightly unpleasant happens to you. Like an onion falling on your head."
And the Invisible Pink Unicorn is too cute to be taken seriously when it comes to damning, so that one's out of the question too.
Tooth fairy? I suppose she could get scary if you speak with your head under your pillow, but a damnation that depends on that is kinda unreliable.
Santa Claus? What's he going to do if he damns you? Bring you a lump of coal? With the prices of energy lately, being damned by Santa might actually be a blessing these days, if you know what I mean.
So, you know, as non-existent personifications go, the Christian god wins hands down. Now _that_ guy can damn properly. It still doesn't mean we _believe_ in him, but he's the right non-existent guy for the job.
Re:I understand running away from prison... but (Score:5, Funny)
I spent a week in a loony bin myself once. We had the same problem with the cards. Apparently nobody in there ever played with a full deck...(wait for it)...
Re:beware (Score:3, Funny)
New ads maybe?
"Before SpamAssassin", "After SpamAssassin"?
Sad joke comming your way (Score:0, Funny)
Dont't look behind you now, but there's a huge spider
Re:Coward. (Score:4, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I understand running away from prison... but (Score:3, Funny)
No, that was yesterday's gag. Today, it seems he was actually worried about having his wife's inbox filled with unsolicited male!
(She not only gave sexual pleasure to a spammer, she helped propagate its DNA. If she and her kid didn't want the bullets, they should have opted out...)
Re:Jesus (Score:3, Funny)
It should also be a lesson to all you married folks out there that feel you should help your spouse break jail...
No offense, but that doesn't really come up all that often.
Re:Coward. (Score:5, Funny)
Do I detect the start of a new /. meme?
Re:I understand running away from prison... but (Score:5, Funny)
Canadian antidepressants tend to require the use of an inordinate amount of Visine and Oreos, he may not have had ready access to these suppliments.
Re:Call for respect (Score:1, Funny)
"Wow man, the Spam King just killed himself and his family."
"Wow, Awesome! Respect!"
Is that what you mean?
Re:I understand running away from prison... but (Score:3, Funny)
What the article didn't mention was that he was shot at 101,897 times. 1,566 of the shots hit, the rest either missed or bounced back at the shooter. The bullets were marked as coming from China but actually originated in the US. I think the killing was done by a rogue bot net.
Re:Coward. (Score:3, Funny)
God dammit, Slashdot!
As an atheist, I prefer to blaspheme dead religions. "By Odin's beard!"
Re:Coward. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I understand running away from prison... but (Score:1, Funny)
Re:I understand running away from prison... but (Score:1, Funny)
Unfortunately his spawn rate is awful and everyone already had the gear he dropped.
Re:I understand running away from prison... but (Score:5, Funny)
I, for one, am sorry to hear about Spam King's passing. I never read any of his books, but I watched "The Shining" once on TV. America has lost one of its most prolific horror writers. ....
What? Oh. Sorry. Never mind.
Re:I understand running away from prison... but (Score:3, Funny)
Speak for yourself, heathen!
Re:Error: Order of Operations (Score:5, Funny)
Blond comes home, finds her husband in bed with another woman. She bursts into tears, pulls a gun from the bureau, and points it at her head. The husband shouts, "No, don't shoot!" The blond replies "Shut up! You're next!"
Re:I understand running away from prison... but (Score:3, Funny)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Tripp
The man's name was Peter Tripp, and it was 1959... I should have Googled before posting, but I'm a little out of it... I didn't get much sleep last night.
Re:I understand running away from prison... but (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I understand running away from prison... but (Score:2, Funny)
What we're not telling you is that Slashdot was behind the hit... :)
Re:I understand running away from prison... but (Score:3, Funny)
I have no problem judging. He was a degenerate scumbag and I'm glad he's fucking dead.
Since this remark was modded troll, I had this weird visual of an 8' tall regenerating green monster blowing smoke off of a hand buzzer....
I-need-lots-more-coffee.....
Re:I understand running away from prison... but (Score:5, Funny)
I've worked in telemarketing. About half of them are just regular schmoes, but the other half, well, let's just say that if they were suicidal, you wouldn't expect them to stick a gun in their mouth at home, they'd more likely bring it in to work first and "share".
You were happy when I brought in donuts for everybody. Now I bring in bullets to share and you're upset? Geeze, people are so flighty and fickle, such hypocrites, sometimes it just makes me want to snap!
In memory of Edward 'Eddie' Davidson (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I understand running away from prison... but (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I understand running away from prison... but (Score:1, Funny)
Sounds a lot like college.
Re:I understand running away from prison... but (Score:3, Funny)
> I'm a white guy and my girlfriend is African. I have to wear sunblock ... she doesn't. Is that a racist comment?
Man, that's not just racist but also sexists! Next you will declare that one of you is not a Christian!
With such lack of morale, you probably don't even think about the children!