Spam King Escapes From Federal Prison 596
Bobfrankly1 writes "The FBI, IRS, and the Rocky Mountain Safe Streets Task Force are helping the US Marshals search for escaped 'Spam King' Edward 'Eddie' Davidson. He apparently jumped in a car with his wife, changed clothes at home, and hasn't been seen since." Update: 07/24 22:20 GMT by T : It seems that Davidson has been found, victim of a murder-suicide which also left two others dead.
If only (Score:5, Funny)
;-)
He is innocent! (Score:5, Funny)
The one-armed man did it!
On the next Prison Break... (Score:5, Funny)
Incoming! (Score:4, Funny)
Clothes? (Score:5, Funny)
I thought that changing clothes only worked if your wanted level was 2 stars.
Silver linings (Score:5, Funny)
On the upside, I'm pretty sure it's legal to shoot escaped convicts.
He escaped because (Score:2, Funny)
Oops (Score:5, Funny)
That Bastard (Score:5, Funny)
He's going to totally ruin the honor system for everyone else.
Obligatory... (Score:5, Funny)
My inbox is full. (Score:5, Funny)
In real jail, your inbox is crammed full of unsolicited male.
Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Funny)
Nah, Arrested Development taught me that you can escape as many times as you want, and they'll eventually let you go home with an ankle bracelet.
Moving to Nigeria (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Incoming! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Federal prison camp? (Score:1, Funny)
Yeah, real prison is where people learn how to make weapons grade email.
Re:Clothes? (Score:5, Funny)
I thought that changing clothes only worked if your wanted level was 2 stars.
And the FBI doesn't start chasing you til 5 stars! WTF!
A Letter (Score:5, Funny)
Dear Batman,
You protected Gotham from the personification of fear, the Scarecrow.
You protected Gotham from the personification of chaos, the Joker.
Now a new threat has arisen.
Your people need you now, more than ever for the personification of annoyance, irritation and aggravation has escaped his just imprisonment, the Spam King!
While I know how adverse you are to taking a life even in the most dire circumstances, in this instance I believe I speak for everyone and say that this man is a threat to sanity itself. So, should he threaten innocents with p3n1s en1argm3n7 or heirs to Zimbabwean fortunes, we'll understand if you have no choice but to drop him off of a building or something. Pummeling him to death would be acceptable too.
Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Funny)
Dearest,
I greet you in the name of God.I also want to sincerely apologies for and discomfort or embarrassment may cause you.As I am quite sure that you will be surprise to receive this message from me, i got your email address contact after a critical search for someone reliable with a good heart with whom i will be able to transact business with. I am spiritually assured that you will be capable of assisting me,this is why i have taken this step to contact you and hopefully get your attention to assist me in a certain business transaction that will be of benefit to you and I.
My name is Edward Davidson and I have substantial funds and assets to a value of US$ 1 billion within the United States of America that I need to have transferred out of the country in the form of cash or other high-value items. Please send an email to eddie@spamk1ng.org if you are interested in helping me. You will get a share of 30 percent if you are successful in helping me with this!
Please keep this confidential!
Re:Federal prison camp? (Score:5, Funny)
One possible benefit is that on coming out of jail he might be a little less keen to help people enlarge their penises.
Re:Editors (Score:3, Funny)
Thanks internet tough guy!
Or do you talk to people like that in real life too?
Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Funny)
If we're assuming archetypal prison behavior, wouldn't it be his outbox that gets stuffed?
Here Is His Description (Score:5, Funny)
Be on the lookout for a man with a large penis and breasts, lots of mortgages, sexy naked teens, and a bottle of v1@grA. He was last seen with the ex-Minister of Finance for Nigeria, Dr Mugotumbe.
Re:My inbox is full. (Score:4, Funny)
Your outbox may also be affected.
Re:Editors (Score:5, Funny)
His "inbox"... (Score:5, Funny)
Soon to be crammed full of unsolicited MALE. Once they catch him and send him off to REAL prison!
What a maroon! He get's sent to the country club you aren't allowed to leave for a less than 2 year vacation and he ESCAPES? He's gonna get EXACTLY what he deserves now.
Re:My inbox is full. (Score:5, Funny)
Wouldn't that technically be your "sent" folder being crammed full of unsolicited male? I mean, in my case that particular ummmm..."folder" is reserved for "outbound correspondence."
Maybe *you* receive inbound messages via that folder. Not that there's anything wrong with that...I'm not going to judge how another man handles his mail. Well, unless he's willfully running an open relay. That's just immoral.
A proposal of mutual interest (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Funny)
He'll probably also have plenty of male in his outbox.
How to Escape from Prison (Score:4, Funny)
1. Have Wife (sic) drive up to your cell
2. Jump in wife's car
3. ????
4. Get Away! (Profit?)
Wrong direction of cash flow (Score:5, Funny)
I heard that he is about to recieve eleventy jillion dollars from a Nigerian prince.
Re:Regrets? (Score:5, Funny)
Of course there are. He should email everybody to apologise!
Re:Editors (Score:5, Funny)
Expect him to talk tough to you too since Internet should be capitalized. (douchebag)
Re:Editors (Score:5, Funny)
Here on Slashdot, a Wife is at the very least a mythical creature like a Gorgon or a Chimera, if not an actual Deity. Capitalization is required.
Re:The FBI press release (Score:3, Funny)
Not to mention additional time for the felony of escaping in the first place. He'll most likely end up in a maximum security prison with a roomie who was a violent offender. I hope the first thing he hears is 'Boy, you sure do got purty eyes.'
Re:Silver linings (Score:5, Funny)
Spam King season!!
Re:The FBI press release (Score:5, Funny)
From the press release:
On April 28, 2008, Davidson was sentenced by U.S. District Court Judge Marcia S. Krieger to serve 21 months (just under 2 years) in federal prison.
I'm sure glad they did that math for me. o_O
Re:He is innocent! (Score:5, Funny)
The one-armed man did it!
Since his crime involved the Internet, it was more likely the one-hand-free man.
Re:Silver linings (Score:3, Funny)
Sounds good, but how do we get all convicted spammers sent to a prison staffed with blind guards next door to a rifle range?
Re:Editors (Score:5, Funny)
I think you're thinking of Digg ...
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Editors (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Editors (Score:1, Funny)
For some reason, your post made me think of Hans Reiser.
Re:The FBI press release (Score:5, Funny)
Now the real question is... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:His "inbox"... (Score:5, Funny)
Samir: They do?
Michael Bolton: Shit. I'm a free man and I haven't had a conjugal visit in six months.
Samir: I have a question.
Peter Gibbons: Yes?
Samir: In... in these conjugal visits, you can have sex with women?
Peter Gibbons: Yep, you sure can.
Samir: OK, I'll do it.
Re:His "inbox"... (Score:5, Funny)
Wouldn't that be his "outbox"?
Re:His "inbox"... (Score:0, Funny)
"...not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no. We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison."
Re:What to do next? (Score:3, Funny)
Nah, Arrested Development taught me that you can escape as many times as you want, and they'll eventually let you go home with an ankle bracelet.
Only if you have a lawyer like Barry. He's very good.
Re:His "inbox"... (Score:2, Funny)
This was funnier when it was a headline on fark.
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3753488
'"Spam King" sentenced to 47 months of having his inbox filled with unsolicited male'
Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Funny)
For example, a 17-year-old boy was gang-raped in prison [nytimes.com] after he robbed a guy with a toy gun.
I don't know how many times that is, but it sounds like a lot.
Re:Editors (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The FBI press release (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The FBI press release (Score:5, Funny)
Maybe it's for the benfit of the Yurpeans. I here they have metric time over there.
Yup - We just recently converted. 10-hour days, 10-day weeks, 10-week months, and 10-month years. Sure is funny weather we're having this Winter...
Re:Editors (Score:3, Funny)
I live with my dad, fag. He's been known to masquerade as a women though.
Here we go again.
Re:Editors (Score:5, Funny)
But if you're equating wives to deities in the sense that they're mystical infallible ideal beings
Is it odd that I read "inflatable" rather than infallible?
Re:He is innocent! (Score:3, Funny)
oblig (Score:2, Funny)
best spam king quote ever -- (Score:5, Funny)
http://talkback.zdnet.com/5208-12691-0.html?forumID=1&threadID=50057&messageID=938515&start=0
Re:His "inbox"... (Score:5, Funny)
if understand($POPCULTUREREFERENCE)==FAIL {
postobnoxioustroll(slashdot.org);
feelsmug();
checkpostreplies(slashdot.org);
noticedupe(http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=624513&cid=24319179);
noticefail(http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=624513&cid=24320141);
stopsmug();
feelshitty();
return(1);
}
Re:The FBI press release (Score:5, Funny)
>>Sure is funny weather we're having this Winter...
I think you meant Wintre.
-b
Re:Editors (Score:4, Funny)
Here on Slashdot, a Wife is at the very least a mythical creature like a Gorgon or a Chimera
Hey, even mythical creatures [giantitp.com] can have problems relating to the fairer sex.
Re:If only (Score:3, Funny)
To: *@*.*
Yikes, that photo... (Score:4, Funny)
But based on that mug shot, I would think was guilty of making Spam (the meat) out of his victims.
Is this what I have to look forward to in my IT career? To end up looking like Jeffrey Dahmer?
Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Funny)
And I thought the only reason they were trying to sneak into this country was to get a Visa card..... hmmph, guess it must be something else ;)
Can't really blame the Mexicans though. They want to escape their downtrodden country and go somewhere with economic security and prospects for the future..... and the only way to get to Canada from Mexico is to go through the United States ;)
Re:best spam king quote ever -- (Score:3, Funny)
Your inbox AND your outbox are crammed with unsolicited male. This is federal prison!
Re:Editors (Score:5, Funny)
Cue the 400 posts arguing whether or not "Internet" should be capitalized.
1 Internet = 8 internets
Spam Assassin (Score:3, Funny)
Looks like it works as advertised, after all