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Upgrades Technology

'Til Tech Do Us Part 300

Posted by CowboyNeal
from the pvrs-to-match-the-towels dept.
WSJdpatton writes "Marriage often requires coping with the loss of some individuality, whether it's adopting a spouse's last name or setting up a joint bank account. Now, some couples say it can be equally tricky to navigate intimacy in the digital sides of their lives. They are running into thorny questions regarding how much to share and how much to keep separate in areas ranging from email addresses to online calendars. For some young newlyweds, this means a debate over whether to combine their blogs. Longtime spouses, meanwhile, say perennial arguments about who has more closet space are now joined by bickering over which TV shows get deleted to make room on the TiVo."
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'Til Tech Do Us Part

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  • HuH (Score:5, Insightful)

    by kamapuaa (555446) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:04AM (#20113279) Homepage
    The obvious question is, so what?
    • Re:HuH (Score:5, Funny)

      by splatter (39844) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:08AM (#20113299)
      Amen!

      Man I hate when my finance deletes stuff off the Replay before I get a chance to watch it.

      Trust me this was around a 6 month battle, culminating in me telling her that if she didn't respect my Replay shows, I would remove all her Days of our lives and she would never get to find out what happened to Luke and boe or JR and Henry or who ever the hell is screwing the other ones wife /gf.

      "I am root damn it!! quit erasing my shows!"

      Trust me she got the point...

      DP

      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by Anonymous Coward
        "Man I hate when my finance deletes stuff off the Replay before I get a chance to watch it."

        So what ever happen to the age-old problem of leaving the toilet seat up or down? Surely this is still a pressing matter in relationships today, no? And for all those who have had that argument with their better half you can tell them that it is a unisex toilet and who said the default position is down?

        But, obviously, that will get you no where. I have yet to meet male that has won that argument. I guess mostly beca
        • Re:HuH (Score:4, Funny)

          by splatter (39844) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:51AM (#20113605)
          Ahh the toilet seat issue..

          Actually interesting enough on that issue the two warring parties have met and decided on a mutual peace accord. Since both parties would not concede defeat, nor recognize the others principles as better or right to existence, it was issued that the only logical step was to cease warring on this matter, lay down arms & establish normal trade relations until broken by either party.

          Almost 5 years now and the peace accord has held.

        • by quintesse (654840)
          Come on, you really have fight over something as a simple movement of a toilet seat (either up or down)? I must have been really lucky with the gfs I've had (so what am I doing here on /.? ehm well yeah, I'm alone again and no it wasn't because of the toilet seat hehe)

          Now, having fight over leaving the toilet _clean_ after use, that I can understand, but I have that fight with colleagues at work as well.
          • Re:HuH (Score:4, Funny)

            by Lumpy (12016) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @02:01PM (#20114533) Homepage
            No you want a good fight? remove the toilet and install an automatic bidet/toilet without telling her.

            the first time she get's that unexpected squirt you will hear the scream from the garage. It's hard though to say "i'm sorry dear, I though I told you.", when you have a huge grin on your face.

            Ahh, the practical jokes on each other makes the marriage more enjoyable. She scotchguarded all the towels one morning. get out of the shower and cant dry off with any of the towels as they repel water. That one was genius.
        • The Toilet Seat (Score:5, Insightful)

          by theskunkmonkey (839144) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @12:03PM (#20113667) Homepage
          I found the perfect solution to this. The females of the household want the seat down as default so they won't fall in when they don't bother to look first.

          My solution was to close both the seat and the lid. This gives neither side the advantage of default position.
          • Re:The Toilet Seat (Score:4, Informative)

            by bar-agent (698856) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @12:25PM (#20113811)
            My solution was to close both the seat and the lid. This gives neither side the advantage of default position.

            "A good compromise leaves neither side satisfied."
          • This is what I do. I've never had a toilet seat arguement.
          • Re:The Toilet Seat (Score:4, Insightful)

            by Mattintosh (758112) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @01:05PM (#20114085)
            I do that simply to reduce the amount of fecal particles that end up on my toothbrush. Every time you flush, it's a poo fountain (think tubgirl only more diluted). You don't want aerosol feces on your toothbrush, hairbrush, drinking glass, or whatever else is around the sink, so just close the lid when you flush. If you're done, leave it closed.
          • by rk (6314)

            This is our default arrangement, too. It also avoids the potential for a drowned ferret, which would pretty much spoil our whole day.

            To say nothing of reducing toilet water aerosol after flushing.

        • Re:HuH (Score:5, Funny)

          by mh1997 (1065630) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @12:24PM (#20113807)

          I have yet to meet male that has won that argument.
          I have yet to meet a male that has won any argument. Unless you count winning as giving your wife the house, half your possessions, and most of your future income, while getting to keep all the debt.
        • by Joebert (946227)
          Pay some kid to put superglue on the toilet seat in a resturaunt before she goes, guarenteed she'll be more than happy to check the seat every time she goes no matter where she is after she has to be plucked from the seat in public.
      • I laid out a simple decision for her concerning computer resources. Either you can be a Domain User on my domain, or you can be on your own, and have no access to it.
      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        by kbielefe (606566)

        Man I hate when my finance deletes stuff off the Replay before I get a chance to watch it.

        Trust me this was around a 6 month battle

        As someone who has been married for ten years, only the last 3 of which had a DVR, trust me that there is about a tenth the TV arguments with one than without it. First of all, being able to record your preferred show and hers at the same time automatically prevents a ton of arguments.

        Second, if you don't give your wife attention as soon as she wants it — and they do

    • Re:HuH (Score:4, Funny)

      by Eudial (590661) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:26AM (#20113439)

      The obvious question is, so what?


      Indeed, this is slashdot, no one here has a girlfriend, let a lone a wife.
    • I could care less if my wife wants to take up the DVR with her shows, as long as i can get at least one episode of what i want in there. Now, if it were really important to me, we'd discuss it in advance for some particular show. That's called open communication, which is the cornerstone of any marriage. If you can't come to an agreement about which freaking shows go on the DVR, then you probably shouldn't be married to each other.
      • If you can't come to an agreement about which freaking shows go on the DVR, then you probably shouldn't be married to each other.

        Second that, but for a slightly different reason. I'm unmarried, but have had roommates in the past, and had to share the DVR. If the DVR can record 60 hours, and there are 2 people, you each get 28 hours worth of shows, with the extra left for last minute stuff that must be accounted for ASAP. Once your amount of time is full you must delete old shows if you want to record
  • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:05AM (#20113285)
    Get a fucking life. In the end, I don't know a married man on earth who hasn't been completely pussy-whipped. If you get married, your wife will own you; it's that fucking simple. End of story.
    • Re:Jesus Christ (Score:5, Insightful)

      by dhwebb (526291) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:24AM (#20113423) Homepage Journal
      I've been married for 10 years and I agree with you 100%. Men who don't take any crap from their wives normally end up divorced.
      • Re:Jesus Christ (Score:4, Insightful)

        by MidnightBrewer (97195) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @12:28PM (#20113839)
        I don't take any crap from my wife and I'm also not divorced. However, I am also smart enough to concede small things that just aren't worth arguing about.
      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        by lucifuge31337 (529072)
        I've been married for 10 years and I agree with you 100%. Men who don't take any crap from their wives normally end up divorced.

        I've been married for 7, and I 100% agree with you. The important part of that statement that is missing is that Women who don't take any crap from their husbands normally end up divorced as well.

        I have a hard time understanding the motivations behind so many marriages. I'm happy. Do I do absolutely everything I want exactly how and when I want to? No. And either does she
    • Re:Jesus Christ (Score:5, Insightful)

      by OS24Ever (245667) * <trekkie@nomorestars.com> on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:52AM (#20113607) Homepage Journal
      Contrary to popular belief it's not a competition, it is cooperation. I'm not pussy whipped and she's not some 1950s version of a submissive housewife. You don't dominate, you work together, and it works out fine.

      been married 10 years
      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by numbski (515011) *
        So, what....she says "take out the trash", and you say "go make me a sandwich, woman"? :P
        • by dan dan the dna man (461768) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @12:09PM (#20113693) Homepage Journal
          "sudo make me a sandwich" [xkcd.com] I think you mean :)
      • Re:Jesus Christ (Score:5, Insightful)

        by couchslug (175151) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @12:42PM (#20113911)
        "been married 10 years"

        Been together/married for 19 years.
        Cooperation is good, along with having ones own space. "Space" = gear, too.
        Wife and self have seperate workshops, seperate computers and peripherals, seperate vehicles and seperate tech in general.
        Anything that is best set up for one person should belong to that person.
      • by Yvanhoe (564877)
        See ?
    • Spoken like someone either divorced, or since this is slashdot, more likely still living in his parent's basement watching Dr. Who and dreaming of life in a TARDIS.
    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Joebert (946227)
      Exactly why I support my local pre-paid hookers.

      You may joke about me paying an outragous amount for service, but at least I'm not stuck with a long term contract that's guarenteed to suffer a reduction of service quality over the life of the contract.
      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by Eunuchswear (210685)
        Slashdotters - You stand exposed by your own moderation - +4 insightful for a post saying hookers are better than wives.

        Admit it - you don't have the balls to try either option.

        (Let alone both in the same bed at the same time :-))

  • A buddy of mine, when he and his girlfriend split, the biggest argument was how to split the WoW crap that they had accumulated. When my girlfriend eventually corners me into marriage I'm going to insist that we register at Fry's
    • by masdog (794316)
      I already told my girlfriend, and her friends, that we're registering at Best Buy and Toys 'R Us. Nothing says "Congratulations" like a Lego Mindstorms kit and a Blu-ray player.
  • TiVo Issues (Score:5, Insightful)

    by MacEnvy (549188) <jbocinski@@@bocinski...com> on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:11AM (#20113317) Journal
    My wife and I had a problem like that once ... we solved it by upgrading the hard drive in our TiVo so both of us could keep our shows.

    Just like in everything else, it's about creating a solution to keep both people happy. Concerned about merging your blog? How about the two of you just start a new blog together and keep your old ones personal.

    Is this really that hard people? This sounds like an author in search of a problem to write about.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      Is this really that hard people? This sounds like an author in search of a problem to write about.

      Agreed. I didn't RTFA, but after reading the summary I couldn't help but think to myself ... if space on the Tivo is the worst of these couples' concerns then ...

      I don't even know how to finish that sentence!

      It's like a middle aged person listening to a bunch of teenagers whine that they have to do homework. The middle aged adult can't help but think to him/herself "just wait until you have to figure out how yo
    • by gEvil (beta) (945888) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:33AM (#20113491)
      Is this really that hard people? This sounds like an author in search of a problem to write about.

      Look, if the average person out there had basic problem-solving skills, many of us would be out of work... : p
  • BIND (Score:2, Funny)

    by Skinkie (815924)
    Like my DNS cares if it needs to forward two A records to the same number.
  • Simple answer... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by chill (34294) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:12AM (#20113323) Journal
    ...by bickering over which TV shows get deleted to make room on the TiVo.

    Do what I did and buy two. If you're going to argue, at least pick something worth arguing over. Television isn't worth the expended energy.
    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward
      Maybe if these people had cancer, bankruptcy, war casualties, etc., then they would see how trivial their "problems" really are. Pathetic.
      • Mod parent WAY up! (Score:4, Insightful)

        by khasim (1285) <brandioch.conner@gmail.com> on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:30AM (#20113469)
        From TFA:

        Waking up at 5 a.m., while his wife and daughter are still asleep, he pads into the darkened kitchen, logs onto his computer and changes the Netflix order to put his favorite movies on top. He knows the warehouse ships the movies by about 7 a.m., so by the time his wife realizes what he's done, it'll be too late. "It's not grounds for murder, but it is irritating," Ms. De Chellis says.

        Dude, spend an extra $15 a month and get a second NetFlix account.

        If she ends up dying of cancer at least you'll be able to say that you got to watch the movies YOU wanted. What the fuck, people? Get some perspective! Are you that hung up on the trivialities of your life that you can't work around them? Grow up and start acting like an adult.
  • by ClaraBow (212734) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:13AM (#20113327)
    Keep it simple, keep it separate. All I can say is that in marriage you need alone time to do your own things. If couples do everything together, they will burnout on each other pretty fast. Trust me, it happens. You maybe in love today, but tomorrow maybe a different story, so it's much easier and cleaner to leave when couple have separate accounts.
    • by LWATCDR (28044) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:27AM (#20113443) Homepage Journal
      Well my experience is totally different.
      "If couples do everything together, they will burnout on each other pretty fast."
      My wife and I work together, we drive to work in one car. We do the shopping together. It hasn't bee a problem for us.
      "Trust me, it happens. You maybe in love today, but tomorrow maybe a different story, so it's much easier and cleaner to leave when couple have separate accounts."
      That is such a bad attitude it boggles my mind. Why do you want to make it clean and easy to end a marriage? What about if you have kids? Should the wife deal exclusively with the girls and father exclusively with the sons?
      If you are not talking about being married than yes keep that separate but that definition of not being married. I think part of the problem is too many people are becoming sort of married. It is easy to rush in to living together or even getting married of you plan on making it easy to end. That is one of the things that is really messed up about world today. If you are going to get married get married if you are not then don't. Don't sort of get married and don't rush into it.

      My wife and I have separate bank accounts but she is on mine and I am on hers. We have separate email address but I don't find that any stranger than have separate cell phones. As far as blogs and fighting over what gets deleted from the Tivo??? If that is a problem in your marriage or relationship you have MUCH MUCH MUCH bigger problems. The making room on the Tivo should be a five minute discussion. Blogs??? Good freaking grief.
      • by Kjella (173770)
        That is such a bad attitude it boggles my mind. Why do you want to make it clean and easy to end a marriage?

        I guess it depends on who you are and who wants to end it. If your wife comes to you and says "I don't love you anymore, I want a divorce" and your economy is all mixed up and it turns into a bad fight about who's been paying what and who should be left with what, I can easily understand the grandparent who says separate account would have been much better. Most two-income couples I know, both living
        • by LWATCDR (28044)
          "If your wife comes to you and says "I don't love you anymore, I want a divorce" and your economy is all mixed up and it turns into a bad fight about who's been paying what and who should be left with what, I can easily understand the grandparent who says separate account would have been much better."
          Sorry but if my wife says that then I have much bigger problems than the money issues.
          Well if should never get to that point. I don't think that having separate accounts is a bad plan. I think going into a marr
    • by xSauronx (608805)
      i agree. i was married and there was tension over things the entire time because we didnt define things well to begin with. i suffered because she couldnt stick to a budget or do what she said shed do. if i had to do it again id have ONE joint bank account for paying bills, one join savings for whatever, with a determined amount or precentage of incomes to be deposited regularly. then separate accounts for miscellaneous stuff. the bitch i was married to wanted to eat out or go shopping at the worst times an
    • I agree with LWATCDR on this one. I believe that some alone time/personal space is always required, but all couples are different. Before we were married my wife and I worked at the same job. It wasn't really high stress (it was a college computer lab), but I was still a bit nervous that there would be some weird work-relationship conflict, or that we would get tired of seeing each other all day. It was actually great. Now that we're married I see less of her (she stays at home, I work full time) and I
  • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:13AM (#20113329)
    If you're in a solid relationship, then you and your partner should have no problem sharing everything.

    If you're a guy, let your wife know that you like to masturbate to bukkake photos online. In return, she can masturbate to photos of well-hung men of various other racial groups.

    Furthermore, if you're a guy, let your wife know that you send raunchy emails to your secretary from a rather anonymous Hotmail account. And your wife will tell you about how she and her friends from the spa exchange pictures of their husbands' cocks on a phpBB forum they set up.

    So in the end, everyone is open with what they do and what they like. There are no secrets. And your marriage is strong, just because everything is in the open.

    • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward
      If you're a guy, let your wife know that you like to masturbate to bukkake photos online. In return, she can masturbate to photos of well-hung men of various other racial groups.

      Furthermore, if you're a guy, let your wife know that you send raunchy emails to your secretary from a rather anonymous Hotmail account. And your wife will tell you about how she and her friends from the spa exchange pictures of their husbands' cocks on a phpBB forum they set up.


      I'm not sure why you were modded funny. That's exactly
  • is this article questioning what is plainly obvious? *My* shows stay on the DVR and hers get deleted. Let me break it down:

    modern marvels > dr. 90210
    arrested development > love connection
    star trek: voyager, tng, enterprise > real world, honey we're killing the kids, little people-big world

    come on!

    • enterprise > real world, honey we're killing the kids, little people-big world
      I'm not familiar with the shows in question, but I have difficulty believing that there are things worse than Enterprise.
      • I'm not familiar with the shows in question, but I have difficulty believing that there are things worse than Enterprise.
        Try reading the rest of the post then. He did mention Voyager.
  • Vi vs Emacs (Score:4, Funny)

    by The New Andy (873493) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:15AM (#20113359) Homepage Journal
    Fortunately the vi vs emacs debate doesn't cause many divorces, but only because people rarely marry outside the church.

    (but sometimes I wonder why anyone would marry a vi person anyway)

  • The only thing my wife and I had a problem with at first was her difficulties using Linux for her school work. The program she is in has standardized on MS Word and wants everything turned in in that format. I don't care who you are or what you say, OO.o has some issues with formatting when saving in .doc format. Things just come out looking differently.

    We finally came to the conclusion that she needed a system to herself running Windows. Since then, she is happy as can be with our setup. We value our pri

  • by JanneM (7445) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:19AM (#20113379) Homepage
    Moving together or getting married does not (or should not, at least) entail giving up your individuality. If you have a problem sharing some resource, keep it separate. Just because you're a couple doesn't mean that you should be doing everything together, sharing every resource, or emulating Siamese twins in any other way.

    I would say that it it's beneficial for the relationship to explicitly make sure both people have a space (physical, mental and time) of their own that the other does not intrude on without a go-ahead. If you have the space, a room of your own - even if it's the size of a closet - is a great idea. That's where you store all the stuff that's yours (like clothing - no more arguing about closet space), and that's where you can do work, keep your hobbies and so on. And since it's yours, there's no argument about cleaning up or anything. Same thing with having non-common friends, times when you go out for some activity on your own and so on.

    Make sure you both have room to remain yourselves and the relationship will be stronger and more stable for it.

    • by garett_spencley (193892) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:54AM (#20113617) Journal
      In my experience what is "best" is to let each married couple decide for themselves what is "best".

      When my common-law partner and I had children and moved in together for the first time we quickly disolved into a complete mess. I played my fair share in that. My biggest issue, looking back on it, was that I put far too much stock in what other people thought that MY marriage should be. People start treating you differently. Parents and friends try to, innocently, impose their ideals on you regarding what it means to be married and to be a parent and how you should behave and what your role is etc.

      It also doesn't help that not only do you have your own family trying to be helpful, but your spouse's family, who may have been relatively distant before you actually moved in together, all of a sudden begins to act like they've known you all your life and you get the expectations from them too.

      In my case it went down something like this. My family is relatively small and likes to get together every couple of months to celebrate someone's birthday. When multiple people have a birthday in the same month we merge the gathering into one and we get together for 3 - 4 hours and we try hard to plan it around everyone's schedule. The idea of celebrating something like an anniversary was entirely foreign to me. Sure, my marreid relatives celebrated, but they went out for dinner just the two of them. It wasn't a family event. My wife's family, on the other hand, is massive and they get together at every single possible opportunity (birthdays, anniversaries, 'just for the heck of it' bbqs and pool parties etc.) and they make it an all day and all night event and everyone is expected to be there. This wore me out. My wife and I had to balance two family responsibilities, but I never cared much for my wife's family and being forced to spend a great deal of time with them and listen to all of their expectations and 'advice' drove me to the point where I wanted to end it after about a year. If I didn't step up and be part of their family then somehow (in their eyes and, after absorbing so much of their opinions, in mine as well) I wasn't a good husband and father.

      Of course, in the end, we compromised and worked it out. But my point is that I found when we moved in and started treating our relationship as a marriage, that the expectations on us from others grew exponentially over night. I wasn't prepared for that. We've been living together for 7 years now and I found that the most important thing is to concentrate on what the two of you want out of your relationship and to ignore all outside 'advice', regardless of how positively intentioned it may be. Every single person goes into a relationship wanting unique things out of it and most people are a little vulnerable in the beginning because they don't truly know what they're getting themselves into. And so at that point they're more likely to pay attention to what other people have to say. Particularly if there's children involved because (most) people want to be the best parents that they can be. But putting too much stock in what other people, particularly family, thinks can really drive you mad.

      In other words, different strokes for different folks. Some people will want to merge every aspect of their lives and be completely happy with that arrangement, other people will want more independence. There is no "right" marriage or relationship. Everyone needs to figure out what's best for them and ignore all outside influences.
    • by Bazman (4849)
      But you are fusing genetically when you decide to have kids. Has that been explained to you? :)

      I guess nowadays couples have more digital information on their hard drives than in their DNA (3 billion base-pairs)...

    • One of the outcomes of a MAJORITY of marriages is kind of "genetic fusing" -- or haven't you heard? I guess you haven't got to that part yet. I'll let it be a surprise for you.

      The basic problem in all relationships, not just marriages, is a lack of complete understanding. We humans are reasonably good at communicating our mental states to each other, but it's never perfect. We spend most of our lives with nothing more than a "pretty good idea" of what our partner is thinking or feeling. Once you've figure

  • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:21AM (#20113391)
    Let me start by saying that I've been happily married for 7 years now, so I know what I'm talking about :)

    We used to keep separate bank accounts, but consolidating everything helped keep us more organized. That's been the theme throughout our whole marriage. I do think that we play nicer than most couples. There are many things we share. For example I run 4 workstations, and my wife and I use them all. If one of us is on one, the other will go to another one. If we need to use something on box, IE a computer that has a VPN client installed, then we'll switch. We keep common email addresses, and share all the account info... mostly because we know each other's passwords. It's easer that way, and if you can't trust, or play nice with your spouse then you have more important issues.

    We do keep separate blogs, but that's mostly because my wife runs one for her company, and I run a more personal one.
  • Geez. (Score:5, Insightful)

    by kiwioddBall (646813) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @11:24AM (#20113421) Homepage
    Who posts this bollocks to Slashdot?
    Just the same as what radio station will we listen to, what will we both watch on TV, we like different foods, etc. etc. Is this some journalism student trying to come up with an 'angle' on a 'story'?
    • by Kjella (173770)
      Amen, I think this goes back to the cavemen and how the cave should be decorated. That said, it could have been a good article on "old challenges in a new environment", with some good relations to how it was in the past and how it may have changed with digital life. For example, take e-mail. How was it when it was snail mail, did you share a mailbox? Did you get personally named letters, or did it include both? This read more like "annoyances in a relationship in 2007" sorta just listed out. Well duh, livin
    • Who posts this bollocks to Slashdot? Just the same as what radio station will we listen to, what will we both watch on TV, we like different foods, etc. etc. Is this some journalism student trying to come up with an 'angle' on a 'story'?

      Geez indeed. It's somebody noticing that characteristic human behavior is following us to new venues, and doing an article about it. No, it isn't a story about the fall of the Berlin wall, Iran-Contra, or the curing of cancer, but there's room for some inconsequential human

  • "For some young newlyweds, this means a debate over whether to combine their blogs."

    The fun never ends when you hang around with some people.
  • I recently (one and a half years ago) got married. We are both Software Engineers and are both under 25. We haven't really had any problems like this. Maybe because we aren't really into "blogging" or maybe because we aren't the type of people who's real life identity is based on an online persona. If we were the more controlling types, we might have had problems like those described in the article. But that has nothing to do with technology, and everything to do with plain old personality.

    This artic
    • by quintesse (654840)
      You merge real world personalities? Wow. How do you do that? Is it like a Vulcan mind-meld? ;-)

      Just kidding. But for me when people start talking about merging blogs it reminds me of those couples that start wearing the same clothes, color-coding them and such. To each their own fortunately because it gives me the shivers.
  • Reading through the comments here, the general solution from slashdotters appears to be some form of "Just throw more money at it" (buy another TiVo, get a second Netflix account, get more hard drives). Whatever happened to actually talking with the other person and trying to work out a solution to the problem? It seems that many times, just accumulating more "his" and "her" stuff doesn't get to the root of the issue, which is that the two of you supposedly share a life now.
  • Who cares? If your technology is causing problems with your relationship, you need to ditch the technology. Who cares if you share online calendars, email accounts, and blogs? There are more important things in a relationship than some electrons on a computer.

    Sometimes, its best to ditch the technology and use old-fashioned methods to keep track of things. Put a calendar on your wall and use that instead of starting a fight over merging your online calendars. If your SO has a separate email account,
  • by Bananas (156733) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @12:32PM (#20113853) Homepage
    Sometimes, I see how the industry is dying. All of the "smart techies" never reproduce. Because they were to dumb to figure out a simple issue.

    I've had 15 years of marriage (and have two kids). Judging by the character of the posts, I'm pretty much a senior citizen by slashdot standards, because apparently I'm about 13-15 years older than the majority of posters here. I can tell you now, the writer of the original aritcle has their head up their ass. For that matter, anyone who thinks in the terms listed in the article really DO have their head up their ass, and shouldn't even bother getting married.

    There are lots of solutions to the issues in the article, but none of them work as well as "here, just borrow my account to browse instead of me logging out" or "honey, whatcha reading in your email?" or any other form of give-and-take, which needs a foundation in TRUST. It's not "boyfriend-girlfriend on the playground at recess". It's a marriage. There is a simple solution: FOR SHIT'S SAKE, GROW THE FUCK UP.

    Marriage is like a bridge, and each spouse holds one side of the bridge up. It takes both sides to keep it up and going. Sometimes, one of the two has to put the bridge down (for rest, health reasons, "me-time", family emergencies, whatever...doesn't matter, it happens), for just a breather - and the other one has to carry the load. If the marriage is working, that person comes back and picks up their end of the bridge. But the bridge won't stand up forever if only one is left holding everything up, or if both spouses can't agree to share the load and the bridge never goes up to begin with.

    Guess what? Marriage takes an EFFORT. You will do HARD INTERPERSONAL WORK. Work that requires you hold up your end of the situation. It's you and your spouse choosing to share life - all of life - and all of each other, the good parts, and all the bad parts. If she can't deal with those things in you that are a part of you, or you can't deal with those things in her that drive you crazy, then it's just not gonna work. Ever. You need to find - gasp! - compromise. And it seems that the younger groups of today seem to have less and less of this critical quality that's needed for marriage.

    This isn't me trying to troll. It's me trying to slap some sense into someone's thick skull. Seriously. No fool'in. If you have a friend that's about to get married, and they think they way they do in the article, you need to print this out, roll it up, walk up to them, and slap them upside the head - repeatedly. They need to really think about something as serious as this before just waltzing off to the land of eternal Tivo replays and iPod picks. Because it has nothing to do with tech. It has everything to do with "these people need to seriously grow the hell up".
  • Why would you want to consolidate your blogs and e-mail accounts? That just makes it easier for people to get confused who's sending what to who, and what e-mail is coming for who, who posted what, etc.

    It's not like you have to pay extra to keep your GMail (Example.) and Blogspot (Also an example.) accounts set up how they have been. Sure, maybe you might want to make a combined blog IN ADDITION to your personal one, with both set up as contributors, or maybe make an extra "everyone in the family" e-mail ac
  • Say, honey, do we really need TEN FRICKIN' BARNEY'S SAVED??? My frickin' Monster Garage didn't get recorded!!!!
  • by proxima (165692) on Saturday August 04, 2007 @01:12PM (#20114131)
    This article is full of so-called problems with relatively simple solutions with little or no compromise. Having been married for 4 year (this month), tech issues are silly things to get worked up about.

    Let's take a few examples:

    [...]making a folder of family photos on the hard drive available to both husband and wife is still complicated enough to baffle tech-savvy people.

    Really? They're talking about the same computer here. Now, my wife and I both make very heavy use of our computers, so she has her own Mac Powerbook, and I have my own computers. We share common files and have ample storage with a simple Linux server in the basement loaded with hard drives.

    Sherry and John Cheung created a joint "johnandsherry" email address. Ms. Cheung, 28, says the shared address makes her feel more like she's part of an official couple.

    We've set up a mail server with lots of virtual aliases. For a while we had a combined alias, but it started getting spam so we dropped it. We haven't really missed it since. For online accounts (utilities, credit cards, etc.) that we both want to receive the notifications for, it's a trivial matter to have the mail sent to both real email addresses.

    Even if you don't have a mail server, don't gmail or Yahoo or something allow you to automatically forward an address to multiple accounts? I'm sure there's some convenient online resource that does that.

    [...]he pads into the darkened kitchen, logs onto his computer and changes the Netflix order to put his favorite movies on top

    Wow, that's just...mean. We signed up with Netflix after they had the separate queue feature (this was over 2 years ago). For 3 DVDs at a time, we each get one at a time, and we have a shared queue for movies and shows we know we want to watch together.

    Even if they didn't have this feature, it wouldn't have been too hard to share equitably. But getting up at 5am to put your movies on the top of the queue is not playing fair.

    Every couple has to work out their own relationship and budget. Still, tech issues aren't worth causing fights over; they can usually be resolved with a little time to find a fix or at worst, a little money.
  • Marriage is about being a couple and joining your individual resources together. To the extent that happens is up to each couple. Each couple is unique and have their own ways of making that union successful. Problems arise when individual wants are taken at the expense of the union. Making a great marriage takes some work, but it is worth it. Don't let the wants of the "ME" destroy the "WE".
  • 1. Start where the most benefit is (for us, we go joint on almost everything to minimize cost, hassle and clutter).

    2. When we step on each other's toes, go the other way (in most cases, this means SPLIT).

    This has resulted in us doing:
    * (still) joint finance - cheaper than paying for double the banking services, additional credit card holders are way cheaper than additional credit accounts, our combined borrowing power is better (for when you do risky investment), and one single big resource pool is way more

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