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It's funny.  Laugh. Microsoft Security

Microsoft Security Makes "Worst Jobs" List 177

Stony Stevenson asks, rhetorically, "What do whale-feces researchers, hazmat divers, and employees of Microsoft's Security Response Center have in common? They all made Popular Science magazine's 2007 list of the absolute worst jobs in science." Quoting: "The MSRC ranked near the middle as the sixth-worst job in this year's list.. 'We did rate the Microsoft security researcher as less-bad than the people who prepare the carcasses for dissection in biology laboratories,' Moyer said. Moyer didn't have to think long when asked whether he'd rather have the number 10-ranked whale research job. 'Whale feces or working at Microsoft? I would probably be the whale feces researcher,' he said. 'Salt air and whale flatulence; what could go wrong?'" Here's the Popular Mechanics list all on one page.
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Microsoft Security Makes "Worst Jobs" List

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  • Odd... (Score:5, Interesting)

    by ForumTroll ( 900233 ) on Wednesday June 27, 2007 @02:11AM (#19659741)
    Microsoft actually has security researchers? What do they actually do?
  • by iHasaFlavour ( 1118257 ) on Wednesday June 27, 2007 @02:48AM (#19659935) Homepage
    Many years ago in my former career I had to treat a guy who had been in a ditch comotose for so long he had maggots well established in every available cavity. Took a while that did.

    Not, it has to be said, my fondest memory of that time. It ranks right up there with the odd fact that all tramps poo contains giant lentils.
  • by pbaer ( 833011 ) on Wednesday June 27, 2007 @02:53AM (#19659961)
    Am I the only one who thinks those jobs sound fairly interesting? The NASA 0g tester would be miserably boring but it pays great, over 120k for 21 days of work. All the other jobs seem pretty interesting and don't seem to be exceedingly dangerous. Considering this is their "worst" job list, I'd love to see their "best" job list.
  • Re:I call whaleshit (Score:5, Interesting)

    by BlueTrin ( 683373 ) on Wednesday June 27, 2007 @02:53AM (#19659965) Homepage Journal
    From http://abcnews.go.com/WN/Technology/Story?id=32909 63&page=4 [go.com]

    2. Oceanographer: Oceanographers' jobs are "getting harder and harder every year," said Ward. Faced with the predictions that by 2048 seafood will no longer exist, coral reefs will vanish in the next decade and that an ever expanding mass of garbage the size of Texas in the North Pacific has caused irreparable damage to the world's water supply, these scientists are charged not only with protecting the health of the ocean, but also with turning the prognosis around.

    "Oceanographers are really tasked with just analyzing sad facts on deoxygenating oceans, increased pollution, whole masses of garbage swirling in the middle of the ocean. What it really is, is a testament to how devoted and loyal a bunch of people they are.

    "They're working extremely hard on a very difficult problem, but they also are very optimistic people. They believe that we can turn it around and the ocean is a very dynamic living environment and they feel that with the proper care, we can turn it around, but so far that has not been the case," said Ward.
  • by ozmanjusri ( 601766 ) <aussie_bob@hotmail . c om> on Wednesday June 27, 2007 @03:10AM (#19660045) Journal
    The OS should be broken up into fairly independent services and the protocol of each service known, shown, and loggable.

    Trouble is, that model's incompatible with Microsoft's business, and it's customers' requirements for DRM.

    They need the OS to be black boxed and inscrutable to prevent people hacking things like WGA and product activation. They also need obfuscated protocols and formats to stop people like WINE from reverse engineering their APIs.

    The clearer and easier to understand MS makes it's system, the worse it is for their business model. That's why there's no way they'll do as you suggest, despite being ordered to by the DOJ and the EU.

  • by BiggerIsBetter ( 682164 ) on Wednesday June 27, 2007 @03:22AM (#19660103)
    I fully expect a 'Microsoft = Ass' article by 2010.

    After reading this, I fully expect one by lunchtime tomorrow.

  • by mastershake_phd ( 1050150 ) on Wednesday June 27, 2007 @03:30AM (#19660135) Homepage
    Every now and then my harddrive will start whirring away, when it shouldn't be, and as far as I can tell there is no easy way to tell which process is the culprit in XP. Hell, you ever get one of those "this file is being used by another program" messages and have no idea what program is responsible? I've had to boot into safe mode just to delete a file. And it was an .avi not a system file or anything.
  • Re:Humm. (Score:4, Interesting)

    by timmarhy ( 659436 ) on Wednesday June 27, 2007 @04:14AM (#19660349)
    why would you need to? i know people who have worked for MS and they all say it's a brillant place to work. highly paid as well. i don't by that MS security is a bad place to work, in fact a lot of these are crap examples of a bad job. ones i will pay are hazmat diving for the danger factor and 0g tester for sounding like some kind of middle eastern torture method.
  • by misanthrope101 ( 253915 ) on Wednesday June 27, 2007 @04:32AM (#19660437)
    I work in a hospital, and ER docs like to swap stories. The worst I've heard is of a woman who was kidnapped, beaten, repeatedly raped, and thrown into a ditch to die. She didn't die, but she did land on a fire ant mound, where she stayed until someone found her, which was not enough time for her to die. Tragedy happens, crime happens, but sometimes you just have to think "that's not fair." I always think of that story when I hear someone say "well, everything happens for a reason."
  • Re:I call whaleshit (Score:5, Interesting)

    by DrMrLordX ( 559371 ) on Wednesday June 27, 2007 @04:45AM (#19660483)
    Oceanographers are dedicated to the study and, ideally, salvation of numerous aquatic ecosystems that are in a rapid state of collapse. It's one thing to deal with "bad news" on a regular basis. It's quite another to watch the sea dying right before your eyes. Most of us have become comfortable with our oceans' plight by ignoring it; that is a comfort not easily afforded to oceanographers.
  • Re:Misnomer (Score:3, Interesting)

    by pimpimpim ( 811140 ) on Wednesday June 27, 2007 @05:17AM (#19660607)
    I was also wondering since when solving your self-created problems had become science... Oh, wait, maybe they have a point ;) In any case, I would call it engineering. Or just support. It's not easy work, I wouldn't say that, but science it is not. I think the difference lies in the point that science pursues the mostly detailed understanding of something with not so much a time pressure (just think about it: can you plan scientific progress in advance? On week 4 we will discover this-and-this?), whereas the work at MS security has to be to try to find a least-effort solution, in the shortest time possible.
  • by misanthrope101 ( 253915 ) on Wednesday June 27, 2007 @05:34AM (#19660677)
    About 70% of the people who are released from death row after being exonerated by DNA evidence were convicted on eyewitness testimony. The death penalty is bad because witnesses lie or are mistaken, cops lie or are mistaken, cops torture/beat confessions out of people, jailhouse snitches are allowed to testify to reduce their own sentence, evidence is planted (or hidden, if exculpatory), and so on.

    We think we have a god's-eye view and we just know that someone is guilty, but the case is stacked to look that way, and we don't really know, not definitively. Very seldom is there videotape of a crime like this--usually we have to rely on people whose careers are built on getting an arrest and a conviction. People will send you to death row just to help their own careers, even if they have to intimidate witnesses, supress contradictory testimony, or reduce someone else's sentence for their "testimony" about the night you confessed to them.

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