US Planning Response To a Cyber Attack

US Planning Response To a Cyber Attack 359

Posted by kdawson on Sunday February 11, 2007 @04:07PM from the one-less-cyber-cafe-in-Karachi dept.

We've all heard of Google bombing; the US Government may be taking the expression rather literally. Planning is now underway across the government for the proper way to respond to a cyber attack, and options on the table include launching a cyber counterattack or even bombing the attack's source. The article makes clear that no settled plan is in place, and quotes one spokesman as saying "the preferred route would be warning the source to shut down the attack before a military response." That's assuming the source could be found. From the article: "If the United States found itself under a major cyberattack aimed at undermining the nations critical information infrastructure, the Department of Defense is prepared, based on the authority of the president, to launch a cyber counterattack or an actual bombing of an attack source."

US Planning Response To a Cyber Attack

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botnet (Score:5, Funny)

by TheSHAD0W ( 258774 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @04:10PM (#17974934) Homepage

I wonder what their response would be to the attack of a botnet. Carpet bombing, maybe?

An option... (Score:5, Funny)

by yourexhalekiss ( 833943 ) writes: <herp.derpstep@com> on Sunday February 11, 2007 @04:11PM (#17974942) Homepage

That's an option that the Feds have that the average whitehat doesn't: calling in airstrikes against the DOSer.

Re:botnet (Score:5, Funny)

by Cyberax ( 705495 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @04:12PM (#17974948)

Nuclear arms, of course :) The ultimate solution for spam and cyberattacks.

Re: botnet (Score:5, Funny)

by Black Parrot ( 19622 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @04:13PM (#17974968)

> I wonder what their response would be to the attack of a botnet.

Good thing the story isn't on a DoD site, or Slashdot might get some retaliatory cruise missiles.

yes... (Score:1, Funny)

by macadamia_harold ( 947445 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @04:14PM (#17974986) Homepage

We've all heard of Google bombing; the US Government may be taking the expression rather literally.

And it has as much to do with an actual bomb as an Aqua Teen Hunger Force advertisement.

Re:Bombs? That's ok... (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @04:17PM (#17975008)

A few bombings ought to move people off Windows.

Uhh... woudln't just be easier... (Score:5, Funny)

by thestudio_bob ( 894258 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @04:23PM (#17975082)

Uhh... woudln't just be easier to bomb the source. It's not like we don't know where Micro$ofts head quarters are.

Slashdotted:No more submissions to .gov/mil sites (Score:5, Funny)

by NZheretic ( 23872 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @04:28PM (#17975112) Homepage Journal

To Commander "Taco"
Please cease and desist linking to site xxx.mil ( reacted ) or whitehouse.gov or else we will bomb you.
Signed G.W. Bush.

Re:spoof (Score:5, Funny)

by ghstomahawks ( 847102 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @04:29PM (#17975128)

What about a certain ranch in Texas ....?

Scene from the War Room (Score:5, Funny)

by mbstone ( 457308 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @04:32PM (#17975160)

General, the bombers are ready to go and the cruise missiles are fully fueled. And our intel group has pinpointed the source of the attack. It's coming from 127.0.0.1 .

problem solved (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @04:34PM (#17975178)

Spoof the attack from an ip block that originates at the pentagon; government bombs the 'source' of the attack. Buh-bye pentagon. The people rejoice.

Re:denial of service (Score:5, Funny)

by TubeSteak ( 669689 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @04:35PM (#17975192) Journal

Well, this has some great potential for denial of service attacks by forging the source of a cyber attack.
The practical joker in me can't wait until someone forges an attack using the WhiteHouse.gov IP.

OTOH, I suspect that the NSA & DoD aren't that stupid

Attack the source? (Score:4, Funny)

by bizitch ( 546406 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @04:37PM (#17975214) Homepage

.... well you can kiss Redmond, WA goodbye ;)

But what if... (Score:4, Funny)

by OriginalArlen ( 726444 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @04:42PM (#17975250)

...the network fights back? Huh? D'ye ever think of that? And then it'll launch all the old ICBMs, oh yes, and then androids will stalk the smoking ruins hunting down and shooting the last holdout remnants of the Republican Party.

Redefines... (Score:5, Funny)

by DimGeo ( 694000 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @04:58PM (#17975402) Homepage

... Internet Exploder... Click that link and you and your entire fraking town are history.

oh really - this is just hilarious (Score:5, Funny)

by toby ( 759 ) * writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @05:03PM (#17975454) Homepage Journal

When you're a country with a hammer, everything looks like a snowglobe, eh?

Re:botnet (Score:2, Funny)

by mrbluze ( 1034940 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @05:04PM (#17975458) Journal

Depending on the location of the computers, it might be a carpet bomb, or a bunker buster if it's a teenager's PC in a basement somewhere, or if they run on expensive computers running *nix, a cluster bomb, or if it's a server farm, they might use napalm with agent orange...

Re:botnet (Score:3, Funny)

by mrbluze ( 1034940 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @05:08PM (#17975500) Journal

.. or a nude bomb if the attacker is spreading porn, or a great big armoured bulldozer to dig up a worm attack, or a bunch of soldiers with spears and shiny metal shields and stuff if it's a Trojan, or a firetruck if the enemy runs a firewall...

Re:Bombs? That's ok... (Score:5, Funny)

by StikyPad ( 445176 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @05:51PM (#17975786) Homepage

True, but if 100% of your products cause widespread damage, you get a seat at the UN Security Council.

US Planning Response To a Cyber Attack (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @05:52PM (#17975796)

Yeah, I know, I saw it on television tonight...
This is called 'Skynet', and only a hacker called 'John Connor' can stop it

Standard hacker defences won't work (Score:3, Funny)

by flyingfsck ( 986395 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @05:52PM (#17975798)

If the Feds launch a B52, then I think a tin foil hat ain't gonna help. Even an asbestos suit won't help much.

Re:spoof (Score:4, Funny)

by flyingfsck ( 986395 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @05:56PM (#17975820)

The ultimate Shashdot effect - route the next article link through a Washington DC address...

How about this? (Score:3, Funny)

by Spy der Mann ( 805235 ) writes: <`moc.liamg' `ta' `todhsals.nnamredyps'> on Sunday February 11, 2007 @05:58PM (#17975836) Homepage Journal

Instead of dropping nukes, drop free, registered copies of Windows Vista. The problem will take care of itself.

Re:botnet (Score:5, Funny)

by Hoi Polloi ( 522990 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @08:02PM (#17976734) Journal

This is why I make sure all of my zombie systems are physically located in US government facilities.

Re:botnet (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @09:43PM (#17977474)

I can see it now...
call to UK ISP call center

call center: "tech support how my I help you today"
caller: "my internet will not work"
Call center: "okay what is your operating system"
caller: "windows XP"
Call center: "what is the problem"
caller: "everything is just really slow and the internet will not open"
Call center: "okay let me check a few things"
Caller: "okay"
Call center: "you need to unplug your computer now it has been compromised"
Caller: "what?"
Call center: "UNPLUG THE COMPUTER"
caller: "okay hang on"
caller: *massive crashing and then dead air*
Call center: NOOOOOOOOOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IT WAS IN A BOTNET THE POOR WOMAN HAD NOT IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON

they really need to stop this bombing

Re:Bombs? That's ok... (Score:2, Funny)

by JonathanR ( 852748 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @09:53PM (#17977534)

People with Aero Glass Windows shouldn't throw...

Imagine a beowulf cluster of these... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @09:55PM (#17977540)

Cluster bombs?

Re:Bombs? That's ok... (Score:5, Funny)

by tsm_sf ( 545316 ) writes: on Sunday February 11, 2007 @10:10PM (#17977692) Journal

Your scenario is a little off, since your oven can't walk out of the house and burn someone else's house down. Let's try a more realistic scenario.

You buy a new drive-by-wire car.

You can tell right there it's going to be a good analogy.

Re:denial of service (Score:3, Funny)

by r_jensen11 ( 598210 ) writes: on Monday February 12, 2007 @01:32AM (#17979258)

Odds are they'd fuck up and use whitehouse.com instead....

Re:What a way to dispel a myth... (Score:2, Funny)

by Andrewkov ( 140579 ) writes: on Monday February 12, 2007 @07:02AM (#17980938)

This sounds like a war machine trying to make another war, since the last ones not going so well.
Oh crap, it sounds like they are planning to attack Canada!

Re:Bombs? That's ok... (Score:5, Funny)

by CmdrGravy ( 645153 ) writes: on Monday February 12, 2007 @07:57AM (#17981198) Homepage

throttle by wire is common
Indeed, I believe it's know as garrotting.

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US Planning Response To a Cyber Attack 359

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US Planning Response To a Cyber Attack

botnet (Score:5, Funny)

An option... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:botnet (Score:5, Funny)

Re: botnet (Score:5, Funny)

yes... (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Bombs? That's ok... (Score:5, Funny)

Uhh... woudln't just be easier... (Score:5, Funny)

Slashdotted:No more submissions to .gov/mil sites (Score:5, Funny)

Re:spoof (Score:5, Funny)

Scene from the War Room (Score:5, Funny)

problem solved (Score:1, Funny)

Re:denial of service (Score:5, Funny)

Attack the source? (Score:4, Funny)

But what if... (Score:4, Funny)

Redefines... (Score:5, Funny)

oh really - this is just hilarious (Score:5, Funny)

Re:botnet (Score:2, Funny)

Re:botnet (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Bombs? That's ok... (Score:5, Funny)

US Planning Response To a Cyber Attack (Score:1, Funny)

Standard hacker defences won't work (Score:3, Funny)

Re:spoof (Score:4, Funny)

How about this? (Score:3, Funny)

Re:botnet (Score:5, Funny)

Re:botnet (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Bombs? That's ok... (Score:2, Funny)

Imagine a beowulf cluster of these... (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Bombs? That's ok... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:denial of service (Score:3, Funny)

Re:What a way to dispel a myth... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Bombs? That's ok... (Score:5, Funny)

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