White Lies Help Stressed Computer Users 333
An anonymous reader writes "Simple tricks allow one to appear to be hard at work in the office while actually forwarding calls, e-mails and instant messages to your mobile phone. One can backdate e-mails through rolling back a computer's built-in clock or use background phone noises to concoct convincing excuses not to go to work."
WHA?! (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah... (Score:5, Funny)
Like any of you losers works anyways.
Back in my day, we had to walk 10 miles uphill in the snow wearing a sun dress, just to submit our punchcards to the mainframe guy! And you complain about a little typing.
-- Lost the password to my two-digit uid.
Counter productive (Score:3, Funny)
High technology? Doubtful. (Score:4, Funny)
Such as actually using the features included in your e-mail client and changing your time settings? Amazing high technology hacker tricks. *rolls eyes*
Re:Why?!!! (Score:5, Funny)
Yes, that's ridiculous! Imagine it would also accept a fake sender address...
Re:Yeah... (Score:5, Funny)
my commute was uphill BOTH WAYS!
Message from the past (Score:5, Funny)
This message was sent from planetary node Alpha-7 at 15:27 on March 17, 1908.
Obligatory Quote (Score:5, Funny)
Marx predicted this (Score:4, Funny)
It should be pointed out that this high-tech slackery and the widespread phenomenon of downloading music and other media are two aspects of a single process.
What is happening is workers, reduced in today's "service economy" (subservience economy would be a better term) to little more that soulless drones, are rejecting the labor and property regimes imposed upon them by the ruling classes.
Another instance of this historical turn is the acts of so-called "terrorism" taking place more and more often at present.
While these acts are clearly atrocities, and those who perpetrate them must be stopped, it is only a matter of time before the masses wake up to the fact that religious extremism is a mere superstructural stand-in for a more direct oppostion to the capitalist-imperialist system, their true downpressor.
Thus the global proletariat will eventually unite in opposition to the dehumanizing system of oligarchichal imperalist capital that today crushes so many spirits.
Resistance is taking many forms these days. These are times for those who desire true human liberty to be optimistic.
Kids these days... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Why?!!! (Score:3, Funny)
why does the SMTP server accept e-mails from the past?
Cause it's so much simpler than accepting e-mails from the future.
Re:people have been lazy long before tech (Score:1, Funny)
No thanks (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Yeah... (Score:1, Funny)
Misread that for a moment (Score:5, Funny)
I suppose you could (Score:5, Funny)
But that's work. A true slacker wouldn't. Nor would a true slacker write a book about it, or read one.
A REAL slacker wouldn't even bother to fini
When you're already there, it's too late! (Score:5, Funny)
Far better to avoid going to work in the first place. If I'm going to slack on company time, I'd rather do it at home, or at the beach, or pretty much anywhere but work, thank you very much. And low-tech solutions are usually the best - the ones where you know some 1337 sysadmin isn't going to be able to dig up evidence against you.
My favourite low-tech solution, like so many good ideas, was invented in desperation. Beautiful sunny day, and I was supposed to go and cook hamburgers in a sweltering kitchen which was in an airport terminal - and the terminal was essentially a massive greenhouse. No way. There's really only one way to guarantee getting out of work when your work involves food, and that's to have food poisoning or diarrhoea. But everyone gets the shits when the sun comes out. No problemo.
I prepared a squeezy bottle, filling it about two-thirds full of water, cleared the route to the toilet, and put the lid down. Then I went back into my room and called in sick.
"Hello, is that Gav? ... Sorry, Gav, I'm not going to make it in... diarrhoea, I think it was the fish I had last night... Gav, I know every other bastard has called in sick already, but I'm - hold on!" With that, I ran, phone in one hand and squeezy bottle in the other, along the hallway, burst into the bathroom, flung the seat up with a clatter, sat down, pointed the squeezy bottle between my legs and down into the pan, squeezed it and groaned like hell. Squeezing and releasing the bottle would result in a wonderful mix between high-pressure-liquid sounds and farting sounds, which echoed around the pan and in turn the bathroom. Acoustically, it was perfect.
Finally, gasping, I said, "Gav, you still there? ...Sorry man... yeah, you're right, I'd better have tomorrow off too."
I had to buy some factor 50 sunblock so I didn't have an awkward tan to explain, but by God it was worth it.
George Costanza's First Law (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Yeah... (Score:2, Funny)
Unfortunately the book's pages are blank because the author was applying the tactics when he was supposedly writing the book (and the editor the same, otherwise he would have noticed).
Funerals! (Score:5, Funny)
Talk about putting the "fun" in funeral.
Re:Message from the past (Score:3, Funny)
Hang on... in 1908, shouldn't _you_ be defending the Earth from the Martian aggressors? Haven't you heard about the recent observations of green flares on the surface of Mars? If I were you, I'd set up some serious defences around Woking, especially on Horsell common. Just a hint, mind.
Re:Yeah... (Score:5, Funny)
Buddy, I was the mainframe guy. I had to get to work the same route, and trust me-- you were NOT as pretty in the sun dress as you thought. You can complain about typing up the punch cards all you want. I'll complain about looking at you in your dress.
Re:When you're already there, it's too late! (Score:5, Funny)
"I'm sick"
"What's wrong"
"Something is wrong with my eyes"
"What's wrong with your eyes"
"I can't see my ass coming in to work today"
It's like that demotivation poster says: (Score:2, Funny)
How to appear busy (Score:5, Funny)
But at one point in time we ran into cash flow problems, big surprise right.
So after about a month of not getting paid I decided to take some time off until the paycheck arrived in order to do some side jobs. I did not tell anyone else, I basically just locked up my office, and did not show up for a little more than a month. (Hey I needed to get food on the table, and I was pissed as all hell by that point)
I come back just to check on the server, which was still running ok, and I find out that everyone thought I was extremely busy and running errands or doing something around the office. (Since my office door was locked)
So I get my back pay, pay for the full month, a raise, AND a bonus.
For some reason I could not be bothered to correct their mistake....
Re:WHA?! (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Funerals! (Score:3, Funny)
As a quote I like says, you have to be inteligent to be able to be lazy!