I am the Most Spammed Person in the World

jefp writes "In November 2004, Microsoft's second-in-command Steve Ballmer made some headlines by mentioning that Chairman Bill Gates was getting four million spams per day. At the time, I was dealing with a little spam problem of my own - I was getting around a million spams per day. I found it a little comforting that my problem wasn't quite as bad as Bill's. However, a couple of weeks later Ballmer corrected himself, saying he mis-remembered the stat and Gates actually gets four million per year. This means I was getting one hundred times as much spam as Bill Gates. I've written a tutorial explaining why I get so much crapmail and how I deal with it."

This will help his spam problem for sure!!

[fizz]

he just went from 1 million a day to about 1.3 million a day.

Yech!

[RileyLewis]

I can't even stand a single can, how do you get on with that much?

Give him a Tony

[Anonymous Coward]

for Spamalot

And that's why....

[The Woodworker]

you don't post your email address to farmgirls.com!

Tip #1

[SpanishInquisition]

Stop subscribing at all those porn sites!

You can cope with 1M spam emails...

[ccozan]

...but not with one slashdotting.

What's happening here is:

[Njoyda Sauce]

He's really just using Slashdot to break his server farm so he won't have to get spam anymore.

Not so clever

[xtracto]

Keep my web service running too, since it's on the same machine.

You try to do this by submiting a story to /. front page?

Don't need to RTFA...

[raehl]

Stop signing up for all those free porn sites!

I know how to deal with spam.

[PopeAlien]

I dont get nearly as much spam as that, but even a few hundred a day is pretty irritating. My solution is to delete all email as soon as I get it.

I figure if its important I'll get a phone call.

I wonder..

[Mikey Rowan]

I wonder if Bill changes email addresses as much as I install security patches. Karma's a bitch.

Well duh!

[Lugor]

They are ACME Labs! They have everything I ever need. I order my gear to get that nasty Road Runner from them all the time! Its great stuff!

"mis-remembered"

[johansalk]

Does Ballmer "mis-remember" his others stats too; he's been showering us with them lately.

Re:Good test for thttpd.

[CyricZ]

This does not reflect well on thttpd. Not that I'm saying it is a poorly designed web server (indeed, I know it is not!), but it did not last long during this Slashdot barrage. I hope this doesn't become an incident people will refer to when attempting to denegrate thttpd.

in the world...

[Spy der Mann]

but now he's the most slashdotted person in the world

Hmmm...
* "World's biggest hacker" [slashdot.org]
* "World's Fastest Inkjet Printer" [slashdot.org]

And what we have here? The "most spammed person in the world" becomes "the most slashdotted person in the world" who used "the most over-used headline cliché in the world".
Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner! :D

Heh

[aftk2]

That is impressive, but I imagine that any catch-all email addresses at foo.com [foo.com] or test.com [test.com] might beat even that.

What I Use

[pastpolls]

For my fake email I have used [e-mail]. I just thought it was funny to use. Then I realized there was a holmes.com. I would surely hate to some guy named john if I work there. I can imagine his email box is going nuts from 10 years worth of stuff.

Re:in the world...

[fataugie]

Ha! I'm the World's Greatest Dad, and I have a mug to prove it!

The funny thing is, I don't have any kids....

Re:And that's why....

[gstoddart]

you don't post your email address to farmgirls.com!

Oh, sure, and I'm sitting behind a monitored corporate firewall wondering just what might be on the end of such an URL.

Bastards!

Re:nowhere

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, but the folks at asdf.com had it even worse.

Re:I know how to deal with spam.

[Everleet]

Funny, I delete all phone calls as soon as I get them. I figure if it's important I'll get an IM.

Re:I know how to deal with spam.

[DoomHaven]

Funny, I delete all IMs as soon as I get them. I figure if it's important, I'll get a visit.

Re:I know how to deal with spam.

[over_exposed]

Funny, I delete all of my visitors as soon as they show up. I figure if it's important, I'll get an e-mail.

I couldn't resist, I'm sorry. *hangs head in shame*

Re:Stop endorsing plagiarism, editors!!!

[Anonymous Brave Guy]

You don't suppose they could be the same person, hmm?

I think the line

"I've written a tutorial explaining why I get so much crapmail and how I deal with it."

kinda gave that away already.

slashdotted...

[ajrs]

so I sent him an email asking for the text

Re:I know how to deal with spam.

[Poltras]

Funny, I delete all of my visitors as soon as they show up. I figure if it's important, the police will come and circle the house.

Re:I know how to deal with spam.

[AndersOSU]

Funny, in Soviet Russia the police delete you.

Re:And that's why....

[spood]

Oh, sure, and I'm sitting behind a monitored corporate firewall wondering just what might be on the end of such an URL.

Well, apparently they don't have a problem with your slashdot habit!

Re:I know how to deal with spam.

[Anonymous Coward]

Funny, I delete all the police as soon as they show up. I figure if it's important, the feds will show up.

Re:I know how to deal with spam.

[Cobralisk]

I don't know, as I delete all slashdot threads as soon as I get them. I figure if its important I'll get a crapflood of spam.

Close second.

[Grendel Drago]

My money's on this one [slashdot.org].

Yeah, back in my day, if we needed directions we had to slaughter a goat and wiggle the intestines!

You sick fucker. How can you joke about abusing a beautiful animal like a goat? If I ever catch you i'll crack your skull open.

You sick fucker. How can you joke about cracking someone's skull open? If I ever catch you i'll slaughter you and wiggle the intestines.

You sick fucker. How can you joke about slaughtering someone? If I ever catch you I'll sit down and eat Ice Cream.

I am Ice Cream, you insensitive clod!

Re:I know how to deal with spam.

[MarkGriz]

I also delete all slashdot threads as soon as I get them. I figure if its important, Taco will dupe it.

Re:Heh

[Anne_Nonymous]

I use my Senator's email address. I suspect he needs a bigger penis anyhow.

Re:MOD PARENT UP!

[TuringTest]

Someone deletes all your thoughts as soon as you get them?

Re:Close second.

[lpangelrob2]

I'm not sure how you managed to managed to repost a thread with a combined score of -1 to get a +4 Funny... but can you teach me that trick?

Re:I know how to deal with spam.

[The-Bus]

Sorry, readers. The posters and the posts above are on the queue to be sacked. We had asked someone in the department to sack them earlier, but they didn't do it. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.

As a result, since no one receives email, calls, visitors, IMs, telegrams, or Soviet secret police, we are sending messenger (African) pigeons to deliver these messages to you, in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute.

Re:I know how to deal with spam.

[Anonymous Coward]

Funny, I deleted God and then there was nothing but silence and void until I got a Viagra spam. I wonder what would be the best way to deal with it?

Re:Author is a liar.

[fishbowl]

>He wasn't getting a million fucking spam a day.

I want to see the MTA that can even handle this. His MTA can move a million messages just in spam, but his web server can't stand up to a mild slashdotting?

Re:Full text - it's Slashdoted (minus img and tabl

[avgjoe62]

OK...

The guy that gets 1000000 items of spam per day is slashdotted?

Beware geeks bearing .GIFs

Re:I know how to deal with spam.

[Anonymous Coward]

Funny, I delete all of my deletes as soon as they are deleted. I figure if it's important, I'll get deleted.

Re:I know how to deal with spam.

[Aerion]

Exactly how fast do these pigeons travel?

I need to know so that I can anticipate their arrival and delete them as soon as they get here.

I figure if it's important, they'll send a messenger swallow.

Re:DNS-RBLs

[cpeterso]

Maybe someone should create a blacklist blacklist?

Re:Heh

[mattsucks]

I use my Senator's email address. I suspect he needs a bigger penis anyhow.

Nah, he's probably a big enough dick as it is.

It is testicular enhancement that is called for in the case of most Senators.