Longhorn Beta is Disappointing

bonch writes "Well, Longhorn beta 5048 was released a day before the start of WinHEC 2005, suggestive of the fact that it is not terribly impressive. Paul Thurrott (a Windows writer whose previously reported review of Mac OS X Tiger was updated after user feedback) confirmed this today in day two of his blog from WinHEC. Microsoft needed something big to kill the hype of competitors, but screenshots show minor visual updates from the last beta, and to quote Thurrot: 'This has the makings of a train wreck.'"

Train wreck indeed

[Anonymous Coward]

It's even uglier than XP, which is no small feat.

Shut Do!

[American AC in Paris]

"Shut Do..."? [winsupersite.com] What the heck is that? Have they decided to bring Microsoft Bob back as a plucky caveman named "Shut" or something?

(On a serious note, it'd probably be a good idea to fix that--otherwise, grandma's gonna have a hard time figuring out what the "Shu..." button does on her large-text setup...)

Why am I not surprised?

[CrackedButter]

The first screen shot is in monochrome, the original Macintosh had more shades of grey than this! :)

sarcasm

[DarkHelmet]

What is he talking about?

No more Super Mario Land default theme! I'd say that's a step forward.

ME?

[shamowfski]

Train Wreck nothing. If we are going to refer to unreleased software as a trainwreck, then what the hell are we going to call Windows ME?

Re:Redmond

[JUSTONEMORELATTE]

"Redmond speed-up the copies."

We get signal!

(sorry, I couldn't resist)

--
get a free laptop [coingo.net]

Beta 5048?

[commodoresloat]

Is 5048 the expected release date?

Re:Screenshots?

[American AC in Paris]

I could pop a Ferrari engine into a Pinto, and this guy would complain about the air freshener hanging from the mirror.

...see, I'd be complaining about how the Pinto suddenly started flipping itself with its own torque...

Black boxes...

[MisterLawyer]

"This has the makings of a train wreck."

Shouldn't that say plane wreck now that Microsoft is using black boxes [slashdot.org]?

Fester...

[Stanistani]

>to quote Thurrot: 'This has the makings of a train wreck.'

*Dons engineer cap and lights cigar*

Just call me Gomez Addams!

Re:Jack of All Trades, Master of None

[Loki_1929]

"I'm sure many of you would strongly disagree with the idea that XP can run acceptably with 128MB of RAM."

Windows XP runs fine on 128MB of RAM. The problem comes when you try to install or run applications which require any memory whatsoever.

But Windows XP runs fine on 128MB of RAM.

*cough* BULLSHIT *cough*

[DroopyStonx]

NOTHING from Microsoft is disappointing.

I call shenanigans.

Wow

[Pike]

The commenters on Paul's site are even more juvenile than we are.

Re:Shut Do!

[fizban]

That's the Homer mode you see there. "Shut.. Doh!"

Re:Screenshots?

[mrchaotica]

No, it wouldn't flip itself -- as soon as the rear bumper touched the ground it would blow up!

Re:Opinions on GUI.

[mrchaotica]

I think it's actually a slight improvement from XP. But yeah, "ghastly" describes it well.

Re:Pre beta review

[BandwidthHog]

I've never used a virus scanner/firewall with Windows XP/Windows 2000.

And that's why I just sent those pictures you took after school last Tuesday to your parents. I thought sending them from your Gmail account was a nice touch, didn't you, Bob? Only time will tell if your sister ever forgives you for stealing her panties.

Re:Train wreck?

[chemistry]

Naw. win98 was the train wreck...ME was the aftermath.

Re:Jack of All Trades, Master of None

[macslut]

I would expect the system requirements of Longhaul to be significantly *less* than XP. Microsoft has already cut so many promised features, it will actually be a downgrade by the time it launches. Of course you'll still need like 1GB of video RAM if you want that spectacular icon preview feature that is all that is Longhaul.

Re:Train wreck indeed

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow, they've started showing folders turned 90 degrees. Now that's innovation.

Wait until you see the flying papers when you do a file copy - they're now wearing aviator goggles and flying scarves. And they're brining back Clippie, but for audio this time and calling him DJ Clipmaster. "Yo! Looks like ya gonna spin some trax!" (2 years in R&D for that one).

Re:Train wreck indeed

[Phillup]

God..Why can't - after 2000, XP and 3 years in development - the HORRID ancient bitmap artwork for "Control Panel" icon, etc. go away!

Because Apple doesn't have a control panel icon for them to use?

(yeah, yeah... I know. System Preferences. It was a JOKE!)

It's because...

[jd]

...the Recycle Bin is in an alternate universe, where light operates in the reverse direction and files magically cease to exist (unless you need to restore them).

Re:Pre beta review

[Phillup]

How will MS tear themselves out of this cycle?

They'll buy the remnants of Amiga and fsck it up so badly that not even the most rabid fan would ever touch it again.

Then when they've had a good laugh, they'll get back to work and add another 128MB to the memory requirements.

Re:Train wreck indeed

[avalys]

"For example, XP had the desert dunes wallpaper as default in the beta but switched to the grassy hills wallpaper for the release."

Uh huh. Quite the paradigm shift, there.

Re:Shadows in the shadow world

[pragone]

Steve... is that you???!!!

Re:Scroll bar in menu

[clem]

I believe the scroll bar is temporary until the "menu slide show" functionality is completed. Once that's implemented, the menu will show you one animated icon at a time with marquee-style text prompting you with, "Is this the application you wish to run?" After a two second delay the next menu-item is displayed.

Don't worry though if this sounds tedious. A set of slide show controls nested within the menu will allow you to skip forward, backward, and set the delay time between slides. Who would of thought such a rich user interface could be imbedded into a menu?

Am I the only one

[Kargan]

Who immediately gets the Beck song "Novacane" stuck in their heads whenever they read anything about Longhorn?

"Got so numb, longhorn drum
Detonate with the suicide gate
Test tube, stillborn days
Telescope rays in the rabies haze
Got the momentum, radioactive
Meltdown!"

Yeah, I guess I probably am.

Apropos!

[Corpus_Callosum]

I could pop a Ferrari engine into a Pinto, and this guy would complain about the air freshener hanging from the mirror.

...see, I'd be complaining about how the Pinto suddenly started flipping itself with its own torque...

No, it wouldn't flip itself -- as soon as the rear bumper touched the ground it would blow up!

I know we are talking about windows, so it is no coincidence, but this exchange is so incredibly apropos!

I challenge others to so colorfully draw metaphors of Microsoft's Longhorn adventure!

Re:Shut Do!

[Anonymous Coward]

Ah! So clicking the yellow button turns off the monitor!

Must be one of those energy saving features.

Re:Screenshots

[FriedTurkey]

Seriously - how do you get a number like twenty? Would twice as good be enough?

I counted the times I wanted to kill Bill Gates while looking at the interface. I found I had 20 times less homicidal thoughts.

Re:Train wreck indeed

[loconet]

Because the Control Panel is tightly integrated into the OS and thus the icon cannot and MUST NOT be changed. You cannot change the icon colours without changing the way the calc.exe does addition, if you change calc.exe, Windows Explorer will change to a maroon colour which then will result in kernel32.dll not being found which is needed by notepad.exe and thus it will not start-up and if notepad doesn't start, Internet Explorer will need to work "Offline" and we know what happens when Internet Explorer is "Offline", you cannot login to MSN Messenger!

Re:Jack of All Trades, Master of None

[vacuum_tuber]

This has the makings of a train wreck.

An unfortunate choice of words, considering what happened in Japan...

You're right. Let's begin using more sensitive terms for such things and then we won't have to check the news every day for disasters before we open our thoughtless mouths.

"Train wreck" could be "rail transport guidance mishap (RTGM)"

"Plane crash" could be "aeronautic ground avoidance exception (AGAE)"

"Tsunami" could be "exceptional aquatic waveform event (EAWE)"

"Earthquake" could be "sudden geological tension release event (SGTRE)"

"Flood" could be "unexpected hydrological intrusion (UHI)"

"Fire" could be "unwanted thermological surge cause by excessively rapid oxdidation of ambient combustibles (UTSCBEROOAC or UTSCEROAC)"

"Atomic attack" coule be "aggressive chain reaction event unfortunately proximate to valuable life or property (ACREUPTVLOP or ACREUPVLP)"

"Heart attack" could be "biogenic oxidant supply chain problem resulting in catastrophic system pump failure (BOSCPRICSPF)"

"Vomit" could be "retrograde migration of partially processed biological fuel mixture (RMOPPBFM or RMPPBFM)"

By using the abbreviations we could all pretend that nothing ugly happens or exists. "Hey, be careful with that! You could have a BOSCPRICSPF!" "What the fuck did you call me, pissbrain?"

The Teletubbies hijacked XP and now it looks like.

[Jerry]

..they are hold LongHorn for ransom.

LongHorn looks like just another XP skin, just a bit uglier.

Re:Jack of All Trades, Master of None

[Anonymous Coward]

Luxury. I was run over by a 200 car freight train after which I put in a 12 hour day at the foundry tending a coke furnace.

Re:Train wreck indeed

[fbg111]

I'd love to see Windows come loaded with OpenOffice and Mozilla, and a ton of Open Source software. It would be a great sign of stregnth, to give away those products and then tell people "You have Open Office which is good, but for something really great come and buy Office".

BWAAAHAHAHAHA!!! Good one! ROTFLMFAO!

Oh, you were serious... Ahem, sorry.

I doubt Windows will do any of those things.

Yeah, me too...

Re:Jack of All Trades, Master of None

[Dwonis]

You're running Debian stable? As in woody? On a desktop machine? Wow. I don't know what to say. Wow.

What's it like? Any tips on maintaining your sanity?

Re:Shadows in the shadow world

[As Seen On TV]

In March of 2004, we got together in Tahoe for a three-day weekend retreat, the whole staff. We had day-long sessions where we divided up into functional teams and discussed all the various ways in which we could piss off some random and utterly inconsequential Slashdotter. This was what we came up with.

Are you fucking kidding me? Like anybody in his right mind would believe for a second that you're sitting there weighing the options. "Hmm. On the one hand, system-wide search that will fundamentally change the way I work forever. On the other, a different-looking toolbar control. Decisions, decisions."

Whatever, dude.

I like that screenshot.

[rice_burners_suck]

I especially like the screenshot that says, "Your computer might be at risk... No firewall is turned on... blah blah blah"

What it should say is, "Your computer might be at risk. Currently downloading: 18,432 viruses, 94% complete. These downloads will automatically install upon completion. For your convenience, you cannot cancel or stop this operation. If you disconnect the network during this time or attempt to reboot, you will be arrested under the DMCA clause that prohibits anti-circumvention with regards to the intellectual property rights of the virus authors. Microsoft. Where do you want to go today?"

Screenshot here. [winsupersite.com]

OS X on Celeron

[jdfox]

Yeah, I've got a 333 Celeron with 128 MB too, and you wouldn't believe the trouble I had trying to get OS X to run on it!
I gave up in the end.

Re:Shadows in the shadow world

[Anonymous Coward]

*munches popcorn*
*anxiously awaits another response*
*munches popcorn*

Re:Shadows in the shadow world

[Anonymous Coward]

ASOTV: Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.
Lauwenmark: Yes, I have.
ASOTV: Look!
Lauwenmark: Just a flesh wound.
[...]
Lauwenmark: I'm invincible!
ASOTV: You're a looney.