Microsoft's New Mantra - It Just Works 985
bonch writes "Fortune has a story about Microsoft's new philosophy--'It just works.' Jim Allchin details various planned Longhorn features to meet this goal, such as auto-defragmenting in the background, the ability to have files in more than one folder simultaneously, and the new ad campaign Microsoft is running to get people excited about Windows. Mentions are also made of the competition from Linux, OS X Tiger, and Google."
It just won't work (Score:3, Funny)
sorta (Score:5, Funny)
or
"Eventually, when Longhorn ships, it may actually work."
So yeah, don't buy anything else until then, cuz that wouldn't make sense!
Well I gotta say (Score:5, Funny)
Typos (Score:4, Funny)
wtf?? (Score:4, Funny)
Finally, a windows eq to ln -sf!
Alternative slogans... (Score:3, Funny)
files in more than one dir at once (Score:1, Funny)
wha~? (Score:2, Funny)
It just works... (Score:3, Funny)
--LWM
It Just Barely Works. (Score:4, Funny)
I Just Works.
Barely.
time to update my list (Score:5, Funny)
Free as in costs money
Advantage as in same later
and open as in closed
We have a new entry
It just works as in windows.
Quite inkeeping with the rest of the publicity statments i belive
or... (Score:5, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:1, Funny)
Re:It just won't work (Score:5, Funny)
Seriously, is it THAT hard to get people to understand symlinks?
The actual motto (Score:1, Funny)
File in more than one folder at once? (Score:5, Funny)
New feature? (Score:5, Funny)
Is it just me.. or do all OSes do this? I have thousands of files, all in different places, all at the same time... right now.
-m
Re:Unbelievable (Score:4, Funny)
Microsoft: proudly stealing from Apple since 1983.
spyware (Score:4, Funny)
Gates: "Yes. You there with your hand up."
Me: "Mr. Ballmer? Mr. Gates? What about spyware and virii on the Longhorn platform?"
Bill: "As our slogan says, 'It just works!'"
Me: "Oh."
It just works, if... (Score:3, Funny)
But noo....
But sometime you need to scroll down a list, no... the other list. Yeah, that one. Select 'properties'-- what? No, right click on the icon, and select 'properties'. And then... no wait it's not here. Click 'cancel'. Ok, now click 'cancel' again. Now, hit the 'x' in the upper right hand corner of the screen.
Now go to "start: settings: Control Panel", click on "Users Accounts", click on "change account", click on your username. What? No, I don't know why they have a
Sometimes it just works.
Re:Well I gotta say (Score:2, Funny)
Re:It Just Barely Works. (Score:5, Funny)
Welcome to Microsoft, where nothing can possiblaye go wrong.
Why? (Score:5, Funny)
better slogan (Score:4, Funny)
you'll never even notice it... (Score:2, Funny)
So you mean Longhorn is going to make the incessant ticking and whirring of my hard drive less annoying? I seriously doubt it.
Compatibility (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Too much to hope for (Score:3, Funny)
-David
Re:Well I gotta say (Score:2, Funny)
Typo (Score:5, Funny)
Remember? MS Works? Nothing new, here. Move along...
They copied the features, why not copy the slogan (Score:1, Funny)
Well... (Score:5, Funny)
Because, as we know "It Just Works" was invented by Apple.
You have to admit, it's better than the old one:
Like IE (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Just works.... they way they tell you it should (Score:5, Funny)
<zoom in on fine print...>
The "It just works" slogan is representative that Microsoft products will work for something. Microsoft guarantees that all hardware running Microsoft software will always "Just work" as:
Boat anchors
Target practice
Paper weights
Furniture, including bookends, footstools, and coffee tables
"It just works" may or may not apply to:
File storage
Application development
Application platform
Gaming
Multimedia
Use of the Internet
depending on the availability of service packs, updates, and copious bandwidth, as well as other factors (not exclusively including) ambient temperature, the phase of the moon, the average body mass index of Microsoft programmers, and the parity of your score when you reach the flagpole.
Believable (Score:5, Funny)
Apple: proudly failing to capitalize on good ideas since 1976
Re:Unbelievable (Score:4, Funny)
Nah, MS just made that up and it happened to be just like their slogan. This is comparing Apples and oranges.
(Bitter, evil, digusting, thieving oranges)
Nice move Microsoft... (Score:2, Funny)
... because you have to know that this slogan is going to be ridiculed. It probably took all of a few microseconds before the first parody of ``It Just Works'' was thought up. Here's mine:
Longhorn: It Barely Works
Longhorn: It Just Works In the Lab
Longhorn: It Almost Works
Longhorn: It Worked Just a Minute Ago!
I'll be referring to Longhorn using the first one I listed above. Seems like it'll be a useful slogan until about SP3 or SP4. (That's if it ever makes it to market.)
Re:Well... (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft: It's not a bug...it's a feature!
A short haiku on the matter (Score:4, Funny)
I sit with skepticism.
Microsoft go home.
Re:Believable (Score:5, Funny)
You mean like Windows ME? (Score:4, Funny)
I remember this because at the time, one of my colleagues kept mocking Ballmer by deliberately misquoting it as "It just broke." To which I usually responded, "...again."
Re:Unbelievable (Score:4, Funny)
wrong one (Score:5, Funny)
It just works. Sometimes.
Re:Unbelievable (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Well... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Unbelievable (Score:5, Funny)
So Microsoft's innovation was inventing a time machine?
Unbelievable indeed...
Re:Unbelievable (Score:3, Funny)
It's not like the phrase returns 150,000 hits on Google or anything. And Linux distros like Ubuntu certainly haven't used that phrase to describe their OS.
Come on; you know that we're supposed to be against Microsoft on this one. Didn't you get the memo?
Re:Unbelievable (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Unbelievable (Score:1, Funny)
Microsoft Word Thesaurus (Score:1, Funny)
Revised EULA section (Score:5, Funny)
16. DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES. The Limited Warranty that appears above is the only express warranty made to you and is provided in lieu of any other express warranties or similar obligations (if any) created by any advertising, documentation, packaging, or other communications. Specifically, marketing materials containing the phrase "It Just Works" specifically define "works" as the standard operation of the software, information and related content AS AND WITH ALL FAULTS, and does not warrant that the behavior of the software will meet expectations of function or operation. Except for the Limited Warranty and to the maximum extent permitted by applicable law, Microsoft and its suppliers provide the Software and support services (if any) AS IS AND WITH ALL FAULTS, and hereby disclaim all other warranties and conditions, whether express, implied or statutory, including, but not limited to, any (if any) implied warranties, duties or conditions of merchantability, of fitness for a particular purpose, of reliability or availability, of accuracy or completeness of responses, of results, of workmanlike effort, of lack of viruses, and of lack of negligence, all with regard to the Software, and the provision of or failure to provide support or other services, information, software, and related content through the Software or otherwise arising out of the use of the Software. ALSO, THERE IS NO WARRANTY OR CONDITION OF TITLE, QUIET ENJOYMENT, QUIET POSSESSION, CORRESPONDENCE TO DESCRIPTION OR NON-INFRINGEMENT WITH REGARD TO THE SOFTWARE.
but... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Unbelievable (Score:2, Funny)
So that's how they coded Longhorn?
What's next? (Score:5, Funny)
Zonk posted it wrong (Score:2, Funny)
the choices are:
Microsoft - It Just Barely Works
Microsoft - It Almost Never Works
Microsoft - At Least We Aren't SCO
Allchin is always such an entertaining read. (Score:5, Funny)
Our British cousins are fond of saying "all mouth and no trousers."
Of Microsoft's group vice president for platforms, I'm fond of saying "Allchin and no dick."
Smug, annoying and delusional - he's the archetypal marketmonkey.
Correction (Score:3, Funny)
Typical of MS, they can't even spell right... (Score:3, Funny)
Money Quote (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Unbelievable (Score:3, Funny)
For heaven's sake, man. It's 'THREW' - you didn't turn down the position at Microsoft: they bonged you for misusage of the English language!
"It just works" .. it's not microsoft's mantra... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Unbelievable (Score:4, Funny)
Another reading of "It just works" is the take that it is barely adequate, just about to fail. Which is considerable truth in advertising from MS.
The software analogue of this is, "It compiles, ship it!"
Re:Typo (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Unbelievable (Score:3, Funny)