HP CEO Carly Fiorina to Step Down 839
ewwhite was the first of a tidal wave of readers to submit links telling us that HP Chairwoman and Chief Executive Officer Carly Fiorina will step down, effective immediately.
Chief Financial Officer Robert Wayman will be interim CEO, Hewlett-Packard said in a Business Wire statement today. Patricia Dunn will be chairwoman. Not much else in the story.
Feel invigorating! (Score:5, Funny)
Oh, sorry about your job.
Meanwhile... (Score:5, Funny)
Ding Dong! (Score:2, Funny)
Ding-dong the witch is dead
Which old witch? The wicked witch
Ding-dong the wicked witch is dead
Wake up you sleepyhead
Rub your eyes, get out of bed
Wake up the wicked witch is dead
She's gone where the goblins go
Below - below - below
Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out
Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low
Let them know the Wicked Witch is dead
Amen!
Not much to say, but .. (Score:5, Funny)
'Congratulations and welcome to Heaven,' finally says the angel. 'Go down the corridor, first door on your right.'
Carly walks to the door, pushes it open... and staggers back. Through the flames and behind the door, all you can see are countless devils inflicting the most horrible tortures to screaming souls. She rushes back to the Officer and waves her admission pass, breathless. 'Must be an error, this thing here says Heaven!'
'Oh yeah,' says the angel, barely looking up from his/her screen. 'Forgot to tell you... we merged.'
Hmmmm chairwoman.... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:That's too bad (Score:4, Funny)
Re:The knives have been out for a long time (Score:5, Funny)
There's a difference between a woman and a bitch who fills cartridges only a quarter full.
Re:I know people who work at HP... (Score:2, Funny)
That would be poetic justice.
You insensitive clods! (Score:4, Funny)
Oh wait, I actually don't care.
Woo hoo!!! Ding Dong! The witch is dead!
Re:I know people who work at HP... (Score:3, Funny)
That's not the least bit nice - you are giving snakes a bad name
Damn, that sucks... (Score:5, Funny)
I work for IBM*, and we quite liked what Carly was doing to HP.
[*As a geek, not a flack, so don't get any silly ideas that IBM agrees with anything I say.]
Re:You insensitive clods! (Score:5, Funny)
I will paypal anybody $25 if they can show me a picture of her smeared make-up.
Re:more info (Score:5, Funny)
Re:more info (Score:2, Funny)
Whats John Scully doing these days? (*evil cackle*)
what HP? (Score:5, Funny)
What HP?
The _real_ "HP" is now called "Agilent"!
Keep that pimp hand strong! (Score:2, Funny)
Carly Fiorina's Husband: "Honey, what are you doing home so early?"
Carly Fiorina: "I got fired"
Carly Fiorina's Husband: SLAP!
And how was your day?
Re:Meanwhile... (Score:3, Funny)
Instead of a glider and flying suit, I imagine she will hold the corporate world hostage by catapulting diseased cows into the offices of HP and demanding One Trillion dollars for the insanity to stop.
Re:more info (Score:2, Funny)
Re:You insensitive clods! (Score:3, Funny)
Oh, all right. I can help. Now that she's out of work, the next rent payment must be looking scary. I wonder how much she'd charge an hour for escort services. I'll have to check The Erotic Review for any past entries on her. I'll pay her $250, and I'll go as high as $300 if she allows anal.
Yes, yes... I'm going to the hot place. :-P
Re:more info (Score:5, Funny)
And I'm sorry, what does a person with a BA in Medieval history have to do with being the CEO of a tech company?
It prepared her well for raping and pillaging the peasants (e.g. employees).
Re:more info (Score:0, Funny)
2. Run it into the ground.
3. Get fired
4. Profit!
Re:Gee, whats the golden parachute? (Score:1, Funny)
What a great major to run a fortune 500 company.
Hmmm. Rape, pillage and black plague. Maybe that is appropriate, because thats what SHE infliced on HP.
Re:I am actually surprised... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Good riddance to bad rubbish. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:I am actually surprised... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Meanwhile... (Score:4, Funny)
Surely you meant her GliderJet and FlightPaq?
Re:more info (Score:3, Funny)
Is Nortel hiring? =D
I Guess She Was Right (Score:3, Funny)
Re:And don't forget the HP iPod (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Damn, that sucks... (Score:3, Funny)
-aiabx
No job that is Fiorina's right anymore... (Score:2, Funny)
http://www.codecomments.com/Computer_Consultant
cheers
front
Re:more info (Score:3, Funny)
Re:And don't forget the HP iPod (Score:2, Funny)
Re:more info (Score:3, Funny)
Buy our laptop, and we will throw in a free posey of frankensence and muir, no additional charge.
Who else would be better suited for being DM at the HP gaming club?
Innovated just-in-time delivery of test equipment via catapult.
Dammit, The jokes just write themselves on this one...
Re:more info (Score:2, Funny)