Daring to Dream: Apple & IBM

Anonymous writes "The Register has a comment piece of the marriage (speculative) between IBM and Apple. Although wildly speculative, it is not improbable. With IBM already supplying PowerPCs to Apple and Apple having not signed up to IBM's PowerPC consortia, there are hints in this get-together. Apple would also supply IBM with the "lifestyle" side of things. If it does happen, it would be most interesting."

Can you imagine?

[wcitechnologies]

Can you imagine? The instabilities you've always wanted (on a Mac) but never thought you could afford?

Whoof

[daeley]

I just had a weird waking dream. Charlie Chaplain, on roller skates, was brandishing his cane at the Big Brother screen in the 1984 commercial.

I need more coffee...

Big Brother

[phloydde1]

I think the first thing that would happen if such a merger took place would be that all the copies and references to the "big brother" superbowl commercial would somehow mysteriously disappear.

IB-Apple

[Anonymous Coward]

IB-Apple
i(B)Apple
Apple'BM
iAppleBeMe
BeMiApp le
?

Re:Whoof

[Anonymous Coward]

Who is this Charlie Chaplain you speak of? Some sort of priest on roller skates? You know what would be funny? If he dressed like Charlie Chaplin.

In other news...

[The-Bus]

Vegas chance odds for Snowball vs. Hell have gone from 1:17500 to 1:225 on news regarding this merger. Business analyst Geoff Meitzer said, "This is the snowball's best chance since Sega announced they would be making games for Nintendo."

...

Seriously, how implausible would this have sounded 15 years ago?

Microsoft hater's wet-dream..

[d_jedi]

That's about all this is.
Mark my word, it ain't gonna happen.

you lose it

[liquidsin]

Mesh? Feasible? Synergy?! Higher than 10% buzzword-to-intelligence ratio. Post ignored.

Re:Except...

[mordors9]

Here's another: They knew that the Slashdotters were getting tired of the normal "Apple is going bankrupt" rumor and we needed to spice things up with a " is going to buy Apple" story.

Very, very old, obligatory joke

[nsayer]

Q. What to you get when you combine Apple and IBM?

A. IBM.

Shamelessly stolen from Apple Confidential [nostarch.com].

Re:Good for IBM, not so good for Apple?

[Anonymous Coward]

Apple could lose it's "cool" image that has helped it dominate the digital music market. IBM isn't known to be hip.

Fashion designers wear suits too, only they look good doing it, instead of like broken-down salarymen. Picture the Board at IBM showing up wearing bespoke mauve mohair suits, silk carnation through the lapel, and razor-sharp mod cuts draped across their faces, and you'll understand the effect this merger could have in IBMs corporate "culture".

Re:Very, very old, obligatory joke

[savagedome]

I am thinking iBM ;)

Re:Except...

[pete-classic]

Hey, frogs could grow claws and live in toilets too!

I have just overcome my fear of sharks in the toilet. I hope you realize you've just ruined my life.

-Peter

Re:IBM + Apple = good news for Linux

[stratjakt]

IBM doesn't care, they stole the SysV code for linux, why not steal ATi and nVidias?

New logo

[nizo]

Probably be the Apple logo with horizontal lines through it, kinda like a sliced up apple. Wait that doesn't sound good.

Or is this just Apple's way of taking over everything that start with the letter I? Ipod, Imac, IBM.....

Re:Taligent

[Speare]

That link does not have the wag's backstory for the name "Taligent":

• Talent without NT, and
• Intelligent without Intel.

Re:buy

[Anonymous Coward]

Noone ever got fired for buying IBM.

Re:buy

[Anonymous Coward]

...well, Steve Jobs might be, if this deal goes ahead. ;-)

Re:Would never happen...

[Mattintosh]

Uhhh, do you use a hair sharpener, or is it just naturally pointy?

By the way, both companies have a heavy-duty nerd culture in the depths, hidden away where no one sees it much. Apple glosses it over with hippie chic. IBM uses yuppie chic instead. Underneath that *ppie chic, they're more alike than anyone wants to admit.

Basically, the only groups that would have to be kept separate would be the marketing departments. And even then, the marketers wouldn't be stepping on each others' shoes, since Apple sells end-user gadgetry and IBM is now a server-room iron and polish vendor.

Even armchair PHB's miss the clue boat. Jeez...

Re:you lose it

[Slime-dogg]

Not to mention that it ignores the buzzword that rules them all: Diversify!

Re:New logo

[Enrico Pulatzo]

You're close: it'd be the Apple logo with Aqua stripes in it, which are close enough to the IBM stripes. Alternatively, a snowball surrounded by the fiery depths of hell is being considered.

Mmmmm Pot & Beer

[CrazyWingman]

How has no one yet brought up the old adage:

IBM was created by guys who drank beer.

Apple was created by guys who smoked pot.

Careful when mixing substances!!! ;)

Re:IB-Apple

[Deinhard]

IB-Apple - Too "ebonic"
i(B)Apple - Too mathematic
Apple'BM - Too scatalogical
iAppleBeMe - Too narcissitic
BeMiApple - Too valentine-y

Re:ridiculous

[retinaburn]

Does IBM have the will and/or stupidity to pursue such a deal? NO.

As an IBMer I can say that we often have enough of both to get much done :)

Re:Except...

[yardbird]

1. Find a slashdot-reading friend who hasn't read slashdot yet today.
2. Show him the text of the parent post
3. Ask him to guess in which front-page slashdot story this bizarre comment was actually relevant

Hilarity ensues.

Re:Except...

[wayne606]

> What if they ported AIX to the PowerMac?

That's like buying a new Ferrari and replacing the seats with milk cartons and repainting it with spray paint.

Re:Except...

[Optic7]

ABM? I Be Apple?

IBM would become iBM

[unsinged int]

That would be amusing to say the least.

Re:Except...

[Geoff-with-a-G]

Mummified?
Do you also have a tiny Egyptian tribe living in your toilet?

Re:Enterprise/business sales

[superpulpsicle]

IBM's not stupid. They are going to sell their version of the iPod.

1.) IBM's iPod will be Black and blue.

2.) It's going to have a baby-tie around it. And you can never take it off!

3.) It'll come with a case that looks like a business suit.

4.) It won't be called iPod anymore. I'll just have a serial number.

5.) iPod will be resized to fit in a T-shirt chest pocket only.

6.) It'll play some monotone corporate tune everything it turns on.

iMac in Black!

[Johnny Mozzarella]

Basically IBM would change the plastics to black and focus on selling to corporations.

I will be first in line for a iBM 17" PowerBook(black anodized aluminum).

Re:Can you imagine?

[Hope Thelps]

designed for the sole porpoise

When you put it like that, it does sound a bit fishy.

Re:Mmmmm Pot & Beer

[b1t r0t]

IBM was created by guys who drank beer.
Apple was created by guys who smoked pot.

I think you may be slightly off...

IBM was created by guys who drank martinis.

Apple was created by guys who dropped acid.

/whoa, look at all the pretty colors...

Re:ridiculous

[Amiga Trombone]

Still, until Steve Jobs starts knocking on doors looking to sell Apple, it's just silly to talk about stuff like this- it's just not going to happen unless it's Steve's idea... rrright. That's what he's been building the company up for, a sale! Ha!

Considering Steve has his iTunes and iPod business going great guns, perhaps the Mac business isn't as important to Apple as it once was.

Maybe Steve is looking to sell his PC division, too!

Re:Can you imagine?

[deaddrunk]

Yeh that mainframe hardware really sucks, that's why large organisations are always suffering catastrophic losses of vital data. Oh wait.....

Q: What do you get when you cross Apple and IBM?

[SimHacker]

A: IBM.

That joke was more ironic in the 90's, when I was working at Kaleida (a joint venture of IBM and Apple).

-Don

Re:Can you imagine?

[wcitechnologies]

I wish I had a dollar!

elsewhere in the news...

[b3s]

scott mcneally, bill gates and steve jobs all become best friends and go golfing together every thursday; osama bin laden admits that george bush is really a nice guy; and aliens really did abduct elvis, now he's back, and he's going on tour... when did /. become the national enquirer?

What do you get when you cross IBM and Apple?

[Nefarious Wheel]

...IBM.