Beat Spam By Not Using Email

judgecorp writes "We had a press release - by post of course - about a scheme that eradicates spam and viruses. It's not email, oh no. It's digital mail or dmail, a private system that no one else can send messages to. Assuming it's genuine (and the PR person is called Mike Hardware) it uses XML and SQL to build a 1980s bulletin board, to sell to niche markets (such as very close-knit families). Our story is here, and if you don't hear from us again, it's because we are busy emailing ourselves with our two free dmail addresses. Peter Judge, Techworld"

And avoid viruses

[Anonymous Coward]

By not using computers.

Now where did I put that abacus?

Beat seasonal allergies too!

[JohnGrahamCumming]

I recently beat seasonal allergies without relying on any medicine at all. I simply decapitated myself with a steak knife. It was so easy, no more running nose, or red, watery eyes!

John.

PS And there's an added benefit: I can't see the hideous /. IT color scheme any more!

Waiting for dmail rev 2...

[DamienMcKenna]

I'm waiting for dmail rev 2 that adds on network-to-network communication, so you can dmail your friends without having to have an account on every single different network. Oh, wait..

Damien

multiple Emails...

[Moonlapse]

Just do what i do. One email address for pr0n. One for serious stuff. One for each girlfriend. Then another one for some more pr0n.

At least it's got a limit...

[Tony Hoyle]

On current trends there are only 25 possible names of mail services (given that E is already taken).

google got G, and these guys have claimed D.

That leaves only 23 more slashdot headlines before people have to start being original! Heck, maybe they'll actually invent someting new (or maybe that's too optimistic)...

Another idea

[blibloblu]

I use a system called sMail (for Snail Mail).

Its a new technology involving ink and paper.

To improve on this great idea

[Anonymous Coward]

...I propose smail, or slashdot mail, where people post comments on slashdot instead of e-mailing each other. We can then rely on the excellent moderation system to root out spam and viruses.

Mom, I'll be home around 6, how about some fish tacos for dinner.

reminds me of one of our clients

[theMerovingian]

Beat Spam By Not Using Email

To avoid viruses and hackers and such, they used to turn off their servers every night when no one was in the office to monitor them...

It wasn't too hard to get an offsite hosting contract though :)

And beat slashdotting by load-balancing you...

[5n3ak3rp1mp]

...oh, wait. Too late!

Re:And avoid viruses

[blibloblu]

Ink and paper: tried that also. Unfortunately, people wouldn't appreciate my sending HTML letters (which took so much time to write down).

Re:multiple Emails...

[Anonymous Coward]

so you have 2 emails then?

Re:At least it's got a limit...

[FooAtWFU]

Bah. I'm waiting for services like Èmail, Émail, Êmail, Ëmail, and Æmail myself.

Re:And avoid viruses

[Feanturi]

Now where did I put that abacus?

I'm sorry, I coughed on it, better make sure to scan it for infection first.

C'mon, is this a joke?

[teamhasnoi]

What self-respecting /. actually uses *email*?

I know I don't speak only for myself. Really, how could anyone ever forgo the art of a well-crafted letter, scribed with a feather quill, and sealed with wax warmed by a smoky taper?

I hardly think that email will ever catch on. In fact, the very idea fills me with mirth! RFLOL!

Your ally in words,
teamhasnoi

P.S. Did you see the series premiere of 'Joey'? A smashing success by any measure! : ) LOL!

Re:Another idea

[Anonymous Coward]

What about that nasty virus that went around not too long ago? Didn't that affect sMail? I think it was anthrax.32.d or something like that.

Re:At least it's got a limit...

[Mr Guy]

I for one welcome our new Oomlaut-mail Overlords.

Re:And avoid viruses

[JayJay.br]

Hey, it could have happened!!! [geekculture.com]

Re:What a stupid idea

[alexjohns]

Dammit, I finally had an insightful comment to something and you beat me to it. Hope you're happy.

You could have at least spelled equivalent right. I would have. :p

dSlashdot

[DarkRecluse]

I believe tomorrow they will come out with the service "digital slashdot" aka. dslashdot, where they take stupid premises and put them on a website that no one can access.

obChecklist

[spoonyfork]

Your post advocates a

(*) technical ( ) legislative ( ) market-based ( ) vigilante

approach to fighting spam. Your idea will not work. Here is why it won't work. (One or more of the following may apply to your particular idea, and it may have other flaws which used to vary from state to state before a bad federal law was passed.)

( ) Spammers can easily use it to harvest email addresses
( ) Mailing lists and other legitimate email uses would be affected
( ) No one will be able to find the guy or collect the money
( ) It is defenseless against brute force attacks
(*) It will stop spam for two weeks and then we'll be stuck with it
( ) Users of email will not put up with it
(*) Microsoft will not put up with it
( ) The police will not put up with it
( ) Requires too much cooperation from spammers
(*) Requires immediate total cooperation from everybody at once
( ) Many email users cannot afford to lose business or alienate potential employers
( ) Spammers don't care about invalid addresses in their lists
( ) Anyone could anonymously destroy anyone else's career or business

Specifically, your plan fails to account for

( ) Laws expressly prohibiting it
( ) Lack of centrally controlling authority for email
( ) Open relays in foreign countries
( ) Ease of searching tiny alphanumeric address space of all email addresses
( ) Asshats
( ) Jurisdictional problems
( ) Unpopularity of weird new taxes
( ) Public reluctance to accept weird new forms of money
(*) Huge existing software investment in SMTP
(*) Susceptibility of protocols other than SMTP to attack
( ) Willingness of users to install OS patches received by email
( ) Armies of worm riddled broadband-connected Windows boxes
( ) Eternal arms race involved in all filtering approaches
(*) Extreme profitability of spam
( ) Joe jobs and/or identity theft
( ) Technically illiterate politicians
( ) Extreme stupidity on the part of people who do business with spammers
( ) Dishonesty on the part of spammers themselves
( ) Bandwidth costs that are unaffected by client filtering
( ) Outlook

and the following philosophical objections may also apply:

(*) Ideas similar to yours are easy to come up with, yet none have ever
been shown practical
( ) Any scheme based on opt-out is unacceptable
( ) SMTP headers should not be the subject of legislation
( ) Blacklists suck
( ) Whitelists suck
( ) We should be able to talk about Viagra without being censored
( ) Countermeasures should not involve wire fraud or credit card fraud
( ) Countermeasures should not involve sabotage of public networks
( ) Countermeasures must work if phased in gradually
( ) Sending email should be free
( ) Why should we have to trust you and your servers?
(*) Incompatiblity with open source or open source licenses
( ) Feel-good measures do nothing to solve the problem
( ) Temporary/one-time email addresses are cumbersome
( ) I don't want the government reading my email
( ) Killing them that way is not slow and painful enough

Furthermore, this is what I think about you:

(*) Sorry dude, but I don't think it would work.
( ) This is a stupid idea, and you're a stupid person for suggesting it.
( ) Nice try, assh0le! I'm going to find out where you live and burn your
house down!

Re:What a stupid idea

[Anonymous Coward]

No worries, you'll get another chance in a couple of hours when the dupe is posted.

My nigerian friends

[narsiman]

Can I invite my nigerian friends into this private system. They have an excellent business opp...

Re:At least it's got a limit...

[Plutor]

Amail [linspire.com], Bmail [info-pack.com], Cmail [cmail.com.au], Dmail [pressrooms.net], Email [lemis.com], Fmail [eu.org], Gmail [gmail.com], Hmail [hawaii.edu], Imail [ipswitch.com], Jmail [sourceforge.net], Kmail [kde.org], Lmail [akh-wien.ac.at], Mmail [mmail.pl], Nmail [sharewareorder.com], Omail [omnis.ch], Pmail [pmail.com], Qmail [qmail.org], Rmail [rons.net.cn], Smail [gnu.org], Tmail [texan.net], Umail [umass.edu], Vmail [arborbits.com], Wmail [courierxpress.net], Xmail [xmailserver.org], Ymail [spacejock.com], and Zmail [zclipse.org]

Sorry.

Re:Dmail already taken... try again

[Anonymous Coward]

From Email to Dmail sounds like a step backwards. Where's Fmail(TM)?

Of course, Gmail has them all beat.