How Would You Handle a $1,000,000 Coding Error?

theodp writes "The Chicago Tribune's efforts to upgrade its computer system over the weekend turned into a fiasco when the system crashed, halting all printing operations and leaving about half of the Trib's subscribers without papers. The software contained 'a coding error,' according to a spokesman who estimated the cost to resolve the problem at 'under $1 million.' Any advice for the poor schmuck who's going to get the blame?"

Just one

[kalidasa]

Check out this link [state.il.us]. Sorry, dude. Any of us could have done it.

Dogbert Strategy

[mfh]

> How Would You Handle a $1,000,000 Coding Error?

I would have to follow Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook [amazon.com], and take full responsibility for the bungle. That way when the next job comes up two or three rungs above me, I'll be at the top of the list of people with actual experience with massive projects, and it won't matter that it was a colossal screw-up because I will have jumped two or three pay-grades. Corporate fall-guys, if they take it right, always end up better off than quiet behind the scenes types.

So my advice is that you should take full responsiblity and sharpen that resume, but be sure to make it known that you have learned from your mistakes and you worked hard to correct them. Nobody gets anywhere without making big blunders along the way. Be a good sport and you'll jump at least two pay grades for this blunder.

The scoop

[SIGALRM]

Any advice for the poor schmuck who's going to get the blame?

Yeah... you shouldn't have written:

char buf[8];
printf ( "Hey, what's the scoop, newsboy? " );
gets ( buf );
printf ( "Good one my boy, now off to the presses to publish %s!!\n", buf );

(It pays to use Splint [splint.org])

Do as any knee-jerk slashdotter would...

[Jad LaFields]

... and blame it on Microsoft.

My advice.

[Anonymous Coward]

Time for plan B [sdmcdonalds.com]

Well, if they're outsourced to India...

[Gldm]

Just have each of their coders chip in a dollar, problem solved.

*ducks*

umm...

[maxdamage]

Blame it on the company not supplying enough caffine?

Who Was It REALLY?

[Anonymous Coward]

Anyone else think it was poor 'theodp' ??!

I would get drunk.

[Mmm coffee]

I would go out, and get so absofreakinlutely drunk that I wouldn't be able to remember my middle name, let alone that I made a $1M error. And then when the lawsuits are about to go to court and I started showing signs of severe alcoholism, I would put my head inbetween my legs and kiss my ass goodbye. 'Cause man, that would really suck.

Well, you asked.

Advice?

[quantaman]

Any advice for the poor schmuck who's going to get the blame?

Well my first advice is to come clean, yes I mean you theodp, I think we all know who this poor schmuck is ;)

Simple Advice

[gnugie]

He should blame the requirements.

There's always a mistake in the requirements.

Re-engineer

[OmegaGeek]

That isn't a bug - its a feature!

Uptime

[FiberOpPraise]

23:44:03 up 48545 days, 6:15, 1 user, load average: 0.00, 0.00, 0.00 Blink. up 0 days, 1:00, 1 user, load average: 0.00, 0.00, 0.00 I hope they got a SS of that massive uptime.

Point to EULA

[ejaw5]

LIMITED LIABILITY
Software provided as-is. Softare developer/company is not liable for any physical, financial, or any other loss or damage arising from use of software.

Doesn't all software come with things like this? (nevertheless, thank-goodness I'm not a software developer)

from Office Space

[v1x]

" .. I must have missed a zero somewhere ... damn I always do that!"

My advice

[baywulf]

"Any advice for the poor schmuck who's going to get the blame?"

My advice: Prepare three envelopes

Only one thing to do now...

[C60]

Change your name, and switch to a "skills" based resume rather than an experience based one...

And this is why...

[WarMonkey]

And this is why you don't use an Access database for a job like this.

advice to hapless code monkey

[Jayfar]

Any advice for the poor schmuck who's going to get the blame?

Down, not across. (motto of alt.sysadmin.recovery referring to best method of slashing one's wrists).

Blame the users...

[herrvinny]

Blame the users, of course. [aroundcny.com]

Or South Florida

[LoztInSpace]

Or The journalists that work at the outfit the link went to. Did you notice it took 3 of them to write that article? Talk about overstaffed.

How to handle $1,000,000 coding error?

[multipartmixed]

Well, if I was in management.. I would find the programmer responsible, and have him snipped!

I've seen this problem before

[Orion Blastar]

I've had coworkers who made major bugs that crashed servers and workstations and caused a lot of downtime. This is because they wrote sloppy code in a hurry and never bothered to check it. Management usually wants faster turnaround time on projects.

So your choices:

Plan A: Blame managers for forcing you to work under stressful conditions that lead to a workplace hazard (stress) that caused you to make the error. Cite that you had to work a lot of overtime and the lack of breaks and sleep caused you to miss a major bug.

Plan B: find someone like me who takes their time coding and have them look over the code and fix the problem for you. Sometimes another pair of eyes helps to find things you've missed.

Plan C:
Go to work in flip-flops, a Hawaiian shirt, sunlasses and tell everyone you are on vacation. Make Pacman noises, and talk to your invisible friends. Claim insanity and see if that works.

Plan D:
Start looking for another job ASAP.

My advice

[GISGEOLOGYGEEK]

Send the coder to the Open Source world because no one is going to pay him to code anymore.

And send his supervisor too for not testing the system properly before trying to roll it out.

Very carefully!

[YouHaveSnail]

How Would You Handle a $1,000,000 Coding Error?

Frankly, I can't believe anyone would pay $1M for a coding error. Hell, the guys I work with make coding errors all the time, and practically for free!

(That's free, as in beer.)

Re:How to handle $1,000,000 coding error?

[gkuz]

I would find the programmer responsible, and have him snipped!

Poor schmuck probably already got that e-mail, and this "coding error" was a last-ditch attempt to generate the FOURTHY-THOUSAND DOLLARS he needed.

Re:Just one

[RTPMatt]

Any advice for the poor schmuck who's going to get the blame?

Dod\/ge
|_______________________________________>schmuc k

McDonald's

[drwtsn32]

They're always hiring. And if you screw up a burger, it only costs the company about $0.17.

Re:Just one

[FatAlb3rt]

maybe it was bernie shifman - isn't he [spamnews.com] from chicago?

You Slashdotted Illinois

[0x0d0a]

You insufferable ass -- you just slashdotted Illinois.

I don't worry about it

[pyrrhonist]

How Would You Handle a $1,000,000 Coding Error?

As long as I keep checking in my code as someone else, I won't have to.

Re:I would get drunk.

[konmaskisin]

and then swear that next time you'll just use perl

Re:It's my first week!

[accidental_1]

Or, just tell them Service Pack 1 is comming soon...

Re:1 Million? That's nothing!

[ebob9]

Answer Key:

X = Will accept any date 1975-Present.
Z = *.*
Y = Will accept any product made in the history of Microsoft. The Fabric of Space-Time is also an acceptable answer.

Re:My advice.

[sTavvy]

Anyone else notice that there is a little footer with teh "recycled" symbol and the phrase "printed on recycled paper" ? it's a PDF. what happens if i print it out on non recycled paper?

slashing one's own wrists

[ProfessionalCookie]

That gives new meaning to /.

There is a story that relates the advice you seek

[Sycraft-fu]

Unfortunately, I can't find the orignal source, so here's my versions:

A high level minister of the USSR is on his way out and comes to his replacement to offer advice. He hands him two letters and tells the man "If you ever get in a situation that you cannot figure out how to get out of, open the first letter. If you ever get in another, open the second letter."

Well time passes and the new minister discoveres himself in a position from which there is no escape, so he opens the first letter. It says: "Blame everything on me." He does as it says and blames everything on his predicessor, and all is well. Some time later, he is again stuck with no means out so he opens the second letter. It says: "Get a pen, sit down, and write two letters."

So I guess it just depends on which letter applies to you :)

In all seriousness I'm not sure what to do in a situation like that. My level of responsibility doesn't afford me the ability to make mistakes of that magnitude.

Re:Dogbert Strategy

[MrDelSarto]

Reminds me of that often quoted story about Thomas Watson, head of IBM, when some executive made a bad decision that ended up costing $10 million. The guy comes in and says "I suppose you'll want my resignation now" and Watson replies something like "Are you crazy! I just spent $10 million educating you!"

Trusty problem solving flowchart

[2mod5]

Works everytime:
http://www.sanecomputers.com/articles/humor4.htm [sanecomputers.com]

Poor Schmuck's Guide

[Sensible Clod]

1. Make a dopey "error" that costs a million. Get mentioned on Slashdot. 2. Make heroic effort to get them back up and running. Get recognized for brilliant skills. 3. Write book about the whole affair. Get book mentioned on Slashdot. 4. Profit!

Bad News, Good News.....

[raehl]

Bad news: We missed printing half of our papers.

Good news: Rainforest saved.

Re:You Slashdotted Illinois

[Bradee-oh!]

You insufferable ass -- you just slashdotted Illinois.

Yeah, like anyone will care? Or even notice? *psssh*

need excuses? :-)

[FUF]

Do as the BOFh would do! :-p [phuph.org]

Answer:

[IshanCaspian]

With a shotgun.

Re:"angry or confused"

[lpontiac]

Mind you, here in Perth we only have one daily newspaper and it sucks, so I can't imagine getting worked up about a failed delivery.

You might not get worked up, but can you imagine the front page come Sunday?

W.A. RETIREES LEFT WITHOUT NEWSPAPER
Had nothing to do at 5 a.m.

Re:Just one

[kegwell]

Ehh..hopefully he lives on the side of town that the paper will get delivered on because he will definitely need the classifieds to look for a new job.

There'll be an opening...

[ewe2]

...as Communications Minister in the Australian government any day now [news.com.au]

Microsoft Windows.

[Anonymous Coward]

$1,000,000 coding error? Pshaw. Windows is a multi-billion dollar coding error.

Re:McDonald's

[yiantsbro]

Sure, but what happens when you screw up placing the lid on a cup of coffee?

Re:My advice.

[Anonymous Coward]

Try it. You'll stand there staring at "PC LOAD LETTER" for hours until you give in and feed the printer some paper that meets the document's specifications.

Watched 100000 records deleted from commercial db

[bugninja]

I worked for an Internet company that had over 100000 products for sale in a database for over 24000 customers. One day, someone accidentally through in a DELETE FROM products WHERE nID > 00000 instead of 100000.

Noone fessed up, but the guy who was red as a damn chili with sweat beading down his face *might* have been the guy.

P.S.
Backup was 1.5 months old.

It's a solution...

[empaler]

... as many places, you're not allowed to fire someone for alcoholism or mistakes made as a result thereof, without first offering a rehab program...

"Why the hell didn't you see this bug?!"
"You smell funny!" *puke*

Dude, I would

[Anonymous Coward]

start looking in the help-wanted ads right away. Go get a newspaper and... Oh wait.

Re: Dogbert Strategy

[Black Parrot]

> In my experience being honest about your mistakes and having the willingness to learn from them always pays off.

Yes, they'll just pull the lever that instantly drops your seat into the pool of piranhas, skipping those inconvenient steps where they would have to torture a confession out of you first.

Re:McDonald's

[FireFury03]

god forbid - die by it

Isn't that what McDonald's food does anyway? :)

Re:Do as any knee-jerk slashdotter would...

[telstar]

"Frantic hours went by as deadline after deadline slipped while crews struggled to find a fix. Malone said he went so far as to start setting up the newspaper's pages on the art department's Macintosh desktops, hoping to get at least something printed."

• I'm guessing he gave up when he got to the second ream of paper on his dot matrix printer?

Re:McDonald's

[mcpkaaos]

Now I've seen someone get killed by a bunch of loganberries before, but I've never seen anyone die by a burger.

If he was a programmer by today's standards...

[Walkiry]

He'd have included an EULA with a "I'm not responsible for anything yadda yadda" at the end. Yes, even for inhouse software. It's not like anyone has to read it, you only have to include in it "by installing the software you agree with this".

Only one option:

[mati]

seppuku

Re:More common than you think...

[builderbob_nz]

/dev/null missing??? OK, I know I spend more time on Windows than Linux and this is probably a simple question, but how the F&*K do you lose something that isn't there?

I can see it now.

[bigfleet]

I cost the Times $1,000,000 and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt

RE:How Would You Handle a $1,000,000 Coding Error?

[Anonymous Coward]

Tell them you got the code from SCO..

Re:You forgot...

[fataugie]

I'm sure I'm forgetting some.

I bet I know why....

Re:McDonald's

[parksie]

/me attacks mods with a poin-ted stick

I would...

[frosted74]

Blame Vinay.

Re:Do as any knee-jerk slashdotter would...

[TheRaven64]

Sounds simple to me. We don't like Sun this week, and we never like MS (well, we liked them briefly when they released the X-Box. And maybe some other times. But mostly we don't like them.*), so we can blame both MS and Sun (although MS more, because we like them less). We still like Apple, so we don't blame them at all. Except last week when we were mad at them for the whole Dashboard thing. But we like them again now (I think). Anyway, from your second quote, it sounds like the Macs were the only thing still working, so we can probably justify not blaming Apple.

This post has been approved by the Slashdot Ministry of Truth.

Re:McDonald's

[RLW]

How fast were those loganberries traveling ?!?

Under no circumstances...

[justins]

take the blame for the mistake. If you are the programmer and it was a programming error, the fault clearly lies with the QA people who didn't catch it. If you are the sysadmin or the QA guy, whatever happened was clearly a problem with management settting unrealistic timelines or expectations. If you are a middle manager the problem is definitely your inadequate budget.

Re:Fortunately, the Chicago Tribune has insurance

[Nonesuch]

Fortunately, the Tribune Company has insurance.

Unfortunately, the insurance has a deductible of $1,000,000.00.

Re:You Slashdotted Illinois

[Ride-My-Rocket]

>> >> You insufferable ass -- you just slashdotted Illinois.

>> Yeah, like anyone will care? Or even notice? *psssh*

What is an "Illinois"?