Auerbach on Internet Cruft 327
Captain Beefheart writes "Karl Auerbach has a story on CircleID in which he declares '...Between spam, anti-spam blacklists, rogue packets, never-forgetting search engines, viruses, old machines, bad regulatory bodies, and bad implementations, I fear that the open Internet is going to die sooner than I would have expected.' The Balkanization of the 'Net appears to be upon us."
Summary (Score:5, Funny)
Right after Usenet, *BSD, Stephen King, etc.
Recipe for success: (Score:-1, Funny)
1. I, for one, welcome our new [Insert Subject Here] overlords.
2. Post sentence constructed from 1. to Slashdot.
3. Profit!!!
I, for one, welcome our new Internet cruft creating overlords.
Re:The scariest part about Balkanization. (Score:1, Funny)
See Slashdot for an example.
Re:The scariest part about Balkanization. (Score:5, Funny)
"I feel that the Internet is our last source of un-censored and un-biased information."
I think you're forgetting about Fox News...
The sky is falling? Why didnt anyone email me? (Score:1, Funny)
Hooray the internets ending. I for one welcome our new outernet overlords.
Bang, they're gone (Score:5, Funny)
Google cached copy of article [216.239.37.104].
Waaah (Score:5, Funny)
Geesh, get over it pal, nothing is static.
Balkanization? (Score:2, Funny)
Lets see:
>Between spam,: Yeah, that came from Balkan
>anti-spam blacklists,: Definetly more Balkan
>rogue packets,: Ok, maybe some Balkan here
>never-forgetting search engines,: Balkans fault
>viruses, Balkan is evil
>old machines,: Ok, some Balkan
>bad regulatory bodies,: Everything is Balkan's fault
>and bad implementations: Blame Balkan
So please give the peaceful people at Balkan a break!
Blame the those who tries to regulate Internet instead. And blame those that makes tools that makes it posible to do all above. Hey, accidentaly that would mean some of all those Open Source tools..
Uhh, but that can't be right, blame the evil corporations
Newsflash - there are lots of idiots in life (Score:5, Funny)
Frankly I dont see the spams and ddos attacks and blah blah that you all get so worked up over as much of a big deal. I get little spam, on the order of a couple dozen a year. Big ddos attacks on commercial sites have never really bothered me. Whoopty do.
There are jerks at the mall, but its still the best place in town to buy a new pair of pants.
"Elitist jackass thinks we need to abandon internet because he's offended by penis-enlarging spam". Big boo-hoo deal. You run off and start your own internet then. Those of us with balls (or a reasonable equivalent) will stick around here, thanks. Because it really isnt that bad.
Re:The scariest part about Balkanization. (Score:5, Funny)
Sooner than expected (Score:5, Funny)
His server certainly died sooner that I expected.
Internet Cleaning Day (Score:1, Funny)
*** Attention ***
It's that time again!
As many of you know, each year the Internet must be shut down for 24 hours in order to allow us to clean it. The cleaning process, which eliminates dead email, inactive ftp and www sites, and empty USENET groups, allows for a better working and faster Internet.
This year, the cleaning process will take place from 12:01 a.m. GMT on April 1 until 12:01 a.m. GMT on April 2 (the time least likely to interfere with ongoing work). During that 24-hour period, five powerful Internet search engines situated around the world will search the Internet and delete any data that they find.
In order to protect your valuable data from deletion we ask that you do the following:
1. Disconnect all terminals and local area networks from their Internet connections.
2. Shut down all Internet servers, or disconnect them from the Internet.
3. Disconnect all disks and hard drives from any connections to the Internet.
4. Refrain from connecting any computer to the Internet in any way.
We understand the inconvenience that this may cause some Internet users, and we apologize. However, we are certain that any inconveniences will be more than made up for by the increased speed and efficiency of the Internet, once it has been cleared of electronic flotsam and jetsam.
We thank you for your cooperation.
Kim Dereksen
Interconnected Network Maintenance staff,
Main branch,
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Sysops and others: Since the last Internet cleaning, the number of Internet users has grown dramatically. Please assist us in alerting the public of the upcoming Internet cleaning by posting this message where your users will be able to read it. Please pass this message on to other sysops and Internet users as well.
Thank you.
Re:Text anyone (Score:4, Funny)
Read [slashdot.org] other [slashdot.org] comments [slashdot.org] much?
Let me guess ... (Score:2, Funny)
Oh, yes, those were the good old days... (Score:4, Funny)
BSD's fault? (Score:4, Funny)
2) The Internet was built on BSD.
3) The Internet is dying.
Re:Internet Cleaning Day (Score:3, Funny)
Only 24 hours to clean the net ?? Man you're fast, or you have a million monkeys at your disposal.
Balkan Idiots (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Full Text (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I don't see it. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Newsflash - there are lots of idiots in life (Score:2, Funny)
Heh (Score:2, Funny)
Re:The sky is falling? Why didnt anyone email me? (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Text anyone (Score:3, Funny)
In other news (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Eye of the Beholder (Score:1, Funny)
Before that all that really henious porn wasn't commercialized. Sure you had to find the FTP site carved, serrupticiously, out of a government server, but it was sometimes free, and would almost certainly make you flinch.
Re:The Internet is only as free as its users... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:The scariest part about Balkanization. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I don't see it. (Score:3, Funny)
If only that were possible. Pizza is dead. No more toppings, no more cheese... it's all gone, bye bye. I've already placed my boxes of unused stridex pads out on the street. Now, who wants to go out to a disco?