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Microsoft Asks Fed For Bailout
Posted by
samzenpus
on Wed Apr 01, 2009 07:41 PM
from the too-big-to-fail dept.
from the too-big-to-fail dept.
snydeq writes "Microsoft requested on Tuesday some $20 billion in bailout funds from the federal government, claiming that as the company controls an overwhelming share of the OS market, it is too big to fail. Low adoption rates for Vista, the ensuing ad campaign trying to convince people that they really do like Vista, and the increased need for development resources to rush Windows 7 to market to make people forget about Vista have necessitated the bailout, the company said. 'We want to make it absolutely clear that this is not a crisis of mismanagement,' said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer in a prepared statement. 'This is simply a crisis of dollars — a crisis of not having enough dollars coming our way.'"
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They are, ghowever (Score:5, Informative)
trying to use bailout money to build a bridge between their campuses.
Yeah, that sounds like an AF joke, but I read it a day or two ago.
Re:They are, ghowever (Score:5, Informative)
It's a bridge that connects two public roads and will reportedly do a great job lessening congestion on the other nearby bridge.
Despite people billing it as a "Microsoft bridge" it's not. It's a public bridge on a public road. I think Microsoft is being kinda generous by offering to pay for a huge chunk of it.
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Re:They are, ghowever (Score:5, Informative)
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/03/31/bridge.microsoft/index.html [cnn.com]
"We're not a one-company town," [Mayor] Marchione says. "Our traffic studies show that Microsoft traffic would be about 42 percent of the bridge, yet Microsoft is paying for about 50 percent of the bridge, so we think we are getting fair value."
Microsoft general counsel Brad Smith wrote: "As the largest employer in Redmond, Microsoft takes its responsibility to the surrounding community seriously. We have spent over $50 million to assist the City of Redmond and other local governments with street construction, transit facilities, water and sewer facilities and fire equipment."
"Any time you can include the private sector in funding transportation projects, it's a win-win situation," Ennis explains. "The state has a monopoly on our roads system. Even if Microsoft wanted to pay for this project on their own, legally they are required to work with the public sector."
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Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Talk about killing the goose that lays the golden eggs...
Or at least chasing it away.
Re:They are, ghowever (Score:5, Informative)
The bridge in question connects one publicly accessible area to another publicly accessible area where there are limited ways to get across the freeway in question. While Microsoft accounts for about 40% of the expected traffic on the new bridge, they [i.e. Microsoft] are actually footing the bill for approximately half the cost of the bridge. Those bastards! Fleecing the public by paying half of something that is a publicly owned structure that will provide a few hundred jobs for 2 years, that they won't own but will be able to benefit from, and will encourage people to WALK rather than drive everywhere. How dare they. And it's a shovel ready project. Yah.. horrible idea.
Oh sorry. Slashdot. My bad. Go on with your uninformed hating.
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Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
The bridge in question connects one publicly accessible area to another publicly accessible area where there are limited ways to get across the freeway in question.
Would the bridge make the list of projects if Microsoft weren't involved? No? Then the public shouldn't pay a dime for it.
While Microsoft accounts for about 40% of the expected traffic on the new bridge, they [i.e. Microsoft] are actually footing the bill for approximately half the cost of the bridge.
All the non-Microsoft traffic might simply b
Re:They are, ghowever (Score:4, Informative)
The city of Redmond recognizes it and wants it, probably 50% of the tax revenue for that city derives from Microsoft and it's employees. Microsoft recognizes the value and wants it, hence footing half the bill. It eases up congestion on the TWO other overpasses across the freeway in the area (there's a third well away from the campus, apartments and tons of housing throughout that area that rarely gets used). So yes.. there are literally thousands of homes, people at businesses (not just Microsoft, though they are the ONLY business directly contributing), and public and private transit that can use, as well as the numerous bike and foot commuters in the area. As I said. Uninformed. You just want a reason to hate them. The fact that you've got your underwear in a bind about obfuscation code done in a beta build of an OS over 25 years ago is possibly the saddest justification for MS hate I've seen on Slashdot in a long time. So no, I don't need an explanation. You need a Xanax.
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Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Please Stop! (Score:4, Insightful)
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Re: (Score:3, Funny)
You left out blow and hookers...
Re:They are, ghowever (Score:5, Funny)
You forgot blackjack. Actually, forget blackjack.
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Re:They are, ghowever (Score:5, Funny)
True, but the blow would only be in the MVP rail car and the hookers would stop to ask you if you want to pay extra to upgrade your experience, and when you're done she would ask you to fill out a survey about your experience.
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100% Real! (Score:4, Funny)
Weird. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Weird. (Score:5, Funny)
Dont put windows on your desktop. Trust me, its just a distaster. It may seem like a cool idea, but all the crashes and breaking and the cleanup, its just not worth it.
Oh, where you talking about the OS?
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The best April Fool's (Score:5, Funny)
This is by far the best april fools story posted today. I almost fell for it!
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
That's because it's not an April's fool joke but a prophecy.
Slashdot was useless today (Score:5, Funny)
Today it's just useless.
Today?
haha (Score:5, Insightful)
Too silly to be real; Too real to be fake; Too fake to be silly. So really, where does that leave the story?
wait a minute here... (Score:5, Interesting)
But then I remembered this is an April Fools joke. Since it's not true, and Microsoft is doing just fine, I thought about why it isn't true: either A) Microsoft really is making products that people want or B) Capitalism isn't working here. Regarding A, I suppose MS does make more decent products than bad ones, but I can't help but think of Microsoft as the GM of the auto-world 20 years ago in that they have a much larger market share than the quality of their products warrants (suggesting B). So I wonder when the Toyota of the operating system world is going to come along and eat MS' lunch? It must be nice to be a monopoly.
P.S. Please MS fanboys, try to remember that the troll or flamebait mods are not a substitute for an "I disagree that Vista was a failure" mod.
Re:wait a minute here... (Score:5, Interesting)
I joke, I joke!
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Re:wait a minute here... (Score:4, Funny)
Well, continuing with my auto analogy, if Microsoft is the GM of the operating systems, that makes FOSS the VW microbus.
but I thought FOSS was sort of like M1 tanks, made of space-age materials, and packed full of sophisticated technology, modified to never break down.
are you mixing up your analogies?
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Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Linux = M1, Hurd = Microbus. HTH, HAND. P.S. The original microbus is a fucking paragon of engineering, and anyone who says different doesn't understand time cube.
NEWS: Slashdot gets Federal Content Bailout (Score:5, Funny)
In a twitter based inquiry to take place tomorrow. congressmen are expected to ask Mr. Taco if he drove his own Internets to Washington DC.
An anonymous source within the White House quoted President Obama as saying that "Things are tough. They may have to make do with LOLcats for a while."
Re:NEWS: Slashdot gets Federal Content Bailout (Score:4, Funny)
How could slashdot possibly run out of stories? They've got over ten years' worth of them to keep posting!
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The US Government asks Microsoft for a Bailout (Score:5, Funny)
Face with an ever increasing mountain of debt, the US Government today has asked Microsoft for a bailout. Under the terms of the bailout, Microsoft Windows licenses will be exchanged with holders of Treasury Bonds to help the USA reduce its debt.
The Chinese Government expressed great interest in the deal. "We were thinking about using Linux, but knowing that we now have the rights to sell 5 billion copies of Microsoft products allows us to settle the debt the Americans have with us, and helps us become a software super power." Under the terms of the new arrangement, every house in China will receive their choice of Visual Studio Team System, Windows Server, or a lot of games.
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
I know this is supposed to be a joke, and I'm sick today so maybe my brain isn't working quite right... but something actually seems rather insightful about this suggestion.
Software is something of genuine market value (in any country that has effective copyright laws to create artificial scarcity, at least) that can be reproduced virtually for free. Seems like the perfect thing to get someone out of debt. Invest in it once and then rake in the dough.
Perhaps the US Gov't could arrange licences with certain
The really sad thing about New Zealand... (Score:3, Insightful)
Windows Live Bailout (Score:3, Funny)
Nobody is going to get all excited and upset about this bailout. All you need to know is that it's Microsoft's idea, and suddenly you're unable to care.
What if it really happens in April 1, 2015? (Score:3, Insightful)
This is a April 1 joke but spare some time to think what if it really happens in the future, especially if you are a Developer who has put all eggs on Microsoft/Windows basket. Can't happen? Trust me, it happens. If someone came and told Amiga will be dead while we use that Amiga 500 miracle, we would laugh at his face.
Look to what happened to General Motors giant, especially them since they never thought about future may change, people may really pay more money to smaller cars made by companies they joked about just 5 years before.
Re:It's April 2 now (Score:5, Informative)
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Re:It's April 2 now (Score:5, Informative)
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Re:It's April 2 now (Score:5, Funny)
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Re:It's April 2 now (Score:4, Funny)
Noon?
Even I think that's a bit harsh. Many days, I'm still sleeping at such an early hour.
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Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
It's 4+ more hours in Redmond WA before April 1 is over
Re:It's April 2 now (Score:5, Informative)
I've never heard that in my life. But the One True Source of All Knowledge [wikipedia.org] enlightens us:
'Traditionally, in some countries, the jokes only last until noon: like UK, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and South Africa, someone who plays a trick after noon is called an "April Fool".[1] Elsewhere, such as in Ireland, France, and the USA, the jokes last all day.'
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Re:It's April 2 now (Score:5, Insightful)
Nope, in France since we have Sarkozy, it's all year long...
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Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
I agree entirely. Its why April Fools day was known years ago as "All Fools Day"
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Re:It's April 2 now (Score:5, Funny)
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Re:It's April 2 now (Score:5, Funny)
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Because it's not (Score:3, Insightful)
Maybe because /. is a US based site, and it's not April 2nd anywhere in the US yet?
Re:It's April 2 now (Score:5, Funny)
Funny, that. Just yesterday you were claiming it's April 1st when it was really March 31st. Stop living in the future, man!
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Re:It's April 2 now (Score:5, Funny)
It's always April 1st in the United States.
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Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Slashdot was useless today (Score:4, Insightful)
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Re:Slashdot was useless today (Score:5, Funny)
Today it's just useless.
You must be new here.
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Re:But it is true (Score:5, Informative)
Redmond is getting a new bridge and Microsoft is paying half.
Redmond has a population of around 46,000.
Microsoft employs about 30,000 full time workers and owns or leases around 8,000,000 square feet of - presumably taxable - office space in or near the city.
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Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Did you catch it?
Re:Dammit! (Score:4, Funny)
Yeah, I know it's right in front of me, but how am I supposed to know what 13NF stands for?
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