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Spam King Escapes From Federal Prison
Posted by
CmdrTaco
on Thu Jul 24, 2008 09:06 AM
from the must-have-hurt dept.
from the must-have-hurt dept.
Bobfrankly1 writes "The FBI, IRS, and the Rocky Mountain Safe Streets Task Force are helping the US Marshals search for escaped 'Spam King' Edward 'Eddie' Davidson. He apparently jumped in a car with his wife, changed clothes at home, and hasn't been seen since." Update: 07/24 22:20 GMT by T : It seems that Davidson has been found, victim of a murder-suicide which also left two others dead.
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Spam King and Family Dead In Murder-Suicide 1081 comments
Lt.Hawkins was one of many readers sending in word that the escaped spam king discussed yesterday was found dead in Colorado, after apparently killing his wife and 3-year-old daughter. A teenager was injured, and an infant was found alive in the car.
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If only (Score:5, Funny)
;-)
Re:Editors (Score:5, Funny)
Here on Slashdot, a Wife is at the very least a mythical creature like a Gorgon or a Chimera, if not an actual Deity. Capitalization is required.
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Re:Editors (Score:5, Funny)
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Re:Editors (Score:5, Funny)
Expect him to talk tough to you too since Internet should be capitalized. (douchebag)
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He is innocent! (Score:5, Funny)
The one-armed man did it!
His "inbox"... (Score:5, Funny)
Soon to be crammed full of unsolicited MALE. Once they catch him and send him off to REAL prison!
What a maroon! He get's sent to the country club you aren't allowed to leave for a less than 2 year vacation and he ESCAPES? He's gonna get EXACTLY what he deserves now.
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The FBI press release (Score:5, Informative)
Re:The FBI press release (Score:5, Insightful)
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On the next Prison Break... (Score:5, Funny)
Clothes? (Score:5, Funny)
I thought that changing clothes only worked if your wanted level was 2 stars.
Re:Clothes? (Score:5, Funny)
I thought that changing clothes only worked if your wanted level was 2 stars.
And the FBI doesn't start chasing you til 5 stars! WTF!
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What to do next? (Score:5, Interesting)
Really, really bad move. Now, instead of two years at summer camp, he will go to many more years of Federal Pound-me-in-the-a$$ Prison. It is really, really hard in today's day and age to avoid being captured, even with a lot of money if you want to live at some decent level. His best bet I think is to go to a foreign country where he could blend in, and live inconspicuously.
Even in some place like Mexico he would be quite a stand out if he flashed cash, and in the US you'd ultimately fall temptation to going to the local drugstore and risk being nabbed on camera. Any lawyers know if there are any countries which would absolutely refuse extradition? If so, he would still need to 1) get there and 2) transfer enough money to survive, and much more if he couldn't work.
Interestingly enough, I think the next play depends on how many resources the US government will put into capturing him and raising awareness among people. A stint on "Dateline" or widely watched / read program would help any possible acquaintances turn him in.
Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Funny)
Nah, Arrested Development taught me that you can escape as many times as you want, and they'll eventually let you go home with an ankle bracelet.
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Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Funny)
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Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Interesting)
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Wrong direction of cash flow (Score:5, Funny)
I heard that he is about to recieve eleventy jillion dollars from a Nigerian prince.
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Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Funny)
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Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Funny)
If we're assuming archetypal prison behavior, wouldn't it be his outbox that gets stuffed?
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Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Funny)
He'll probably also have plenty of male in his outbox.
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yeah (Score:5, Insightful)
Nothing quite as funny as gay prison rape.
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Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Insightful)
Really, really bad move. Now, instead of two years at summer camp, he will go to many more years of Federal Pound-me-in-the-a$$ Prison.
Spammers are not known for taking the long view and doing the right thing.
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Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Funny)
Dearest,
I greet you in the name of God.I also want to sincerely apologies for and discomfort or embarrassment may cause you.As I am quite sure that you will be surprise to receive this message from me, i got your email address contact after a critical search for someone reliable with a good heart with whom i will be able to transact business with. I am spiritually assured that you will be capable of assisting me,this is why i have taken this step to contact you and hopefully get your attention to assist me in a certain business transaction that will be of benefit to you and I.
My name is Edward Davidson and I have substantial funds and assets to a value of US$ 1 billion within the United States of America that I need to have transferred out of the country in the form of cash or other high-value items. Please send an email to eddie@spamk1ng.org if you are interested in helping me. You will get a share of 30 percent if you are successful in helping me with this!
Please keep this confidential!
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Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Interesting)
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Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Insightful)
Prison rape is a serious problem in the United States, where over 2.1 million people are incarcerated. Depending on the statistics you believe [wikipedia.org], there are more men raped in prison then women are raped outside of prison. And it is not the "real" criminals who are the victims. For example, a 17-year-old boy was gang-raped in prison [nytimes.com] after he robbed a guy with a toy gun. Sure, the robbery was a stupid thing to do, but our society punished him by putting him in jail, not to have him gang-raped. Victims of gang-rape risk getting STDs including HIV, which effectively renders a prison sentence for forging a check into a death sentence. Our nation's drug laws have placed many in jail for relatively small crimes. These people are in danger of being raped.
Only people in the United States think it is funny that prisoners are being raped. Prison guards and administrators do not care about this problem, and it is unconstitutionally cruel to allow this to happen. I am not a softie liberal; on the contrary, I believe in the strict letter of the law. We sentence people to jail, or to die. We do not sentence them to get gang-raped for the rest of their lives. (Believe me, I'd be all in favor of getting the real criminals who rape and murder others to be raped themselves for the rest of their lives, but quite expectedly, it is those people who are doing the raping in prison.)
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Re:What to do next? (Score:5, Insightful)
he will go to many more years of Federal Pound-me-in-the-a$$ Prison
First, a minor bit of pedantry: only prostitutes have a$$es. Everyone in the US has asses, and everyone not in the US has arses.
Second, isn't "I hereby sentence you to five years of being assraped" unconstitutional? It violates the injunction against cruel and unusual punishment, and only men get assraped in prison. I'm surprised that freed felons aren't suing the government left and right; it's the warden and jailers' responsibilities to ensure that prisoners aren't committing crimes in prison.
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Federal prison camp? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Federal prison camp? (Score:5, Insightful)
Because there is a difference between sending spam and committing a violent crime?
There are countries where jail is jail, whether you're a mass murderer or a serial jaywalker. I kinda like living in a country where they're not going to throw me in with the violent offenders if I scam the IRS.
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Re:Federal prison camp? (Score:5, Insightful)
I kinda like living in a country where they're not going to throw me in with the violent offenders if I scam the IRS.
Probably the laws are that way because the law makers are more likely to scam the IRS than to be murderers.
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Re:Federal prison camp? (Score:5, Funny)
One possible benefit is that on coming out of jail he might be a little less keen to help people enlarge their penises.
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Silver linings (Score:5, Funny)
On the upside, I'm pretty sure it's legal to shoot escaped convicts.
Re:Silver linings (Score:5, Funny)
Spam King season!!
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21 months? (Score:5, Interesting)
Who the hell runs from a 2 year bid at a club fed?
Re:21 months? (Score:5, Insightful)
A moron? I guess we all suspected the kind of people who make their living spamming, but now we have proof.
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Oops (Score:5, Funny)
That Bastard (Score:5, Funny)
He's going to totally ruin the honor system for everyone else.
Heh (Score:5, Interesting)
From the comments from the article (because I know most of you won't read it, and I'm not going to take credit for it). "One can only hope his punishment will be unsolicited male."
Re:Heh (Score:5, Insightful)
It's not how much you steal, it's how you steal it. If you pull a gun to steal a twinkie, you get more time and higher security than if you steal millions in some white collar scheme.
In the end, just being caught is often the end of your white collar crime spree, because it's really difficult to get yourself back in that position when you've got a record. But if you're a violent offender, you're equally a danger to society before and after jail.
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Re:Heh (Score:5, Insightful)
Prison is for violent people.
You forgot our incredibly successful war on drugs.
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Obligatory... (Score:5, Funny)
My inbox is full. (Score:5, Funny)
In real jail, your inbox is crammed full of unsolicited male.
Re:My inbox is full. (Score:5, Funny)
Wouldn't that technically be your "sent" folder being crammed full of unsolicited male? I mean, in my case that particular ummmm..."folder" is reserved for "outbound correspondence."
Maybe *you* receive inbound messages via that folder. Not that there's anything wrong with that...I'm not going to judge how another man handles his mail. Well, unless he's willfully running an open relay. That's just immoral.
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What an idiot (Score:5, Insightful)
He had a 21 month sentence in a minimum security work camp a.k.a "Club Fed". Now he gets an automatic 10 years added on for escaping and he'll be doing it in maximum security "Pound me in the ass" prison with the real bad dudes. This guy really isn't very bright.
A Letter (Score:5, Funny)
Dear Batman,
You protected Gotham from the personification of fear, the Scarecrow.
You protected Gotham from the personification of chaos, the Joker.
Now a new threat has arisen.
Your people need you now, more than ever for the personification of annoyance, irritation and aggravation has escaped his just imprisonment, the Spam King!
While I know how adverse you are to taking a life even in the most dire circumstances, in this instance I believe I speak for everyone and say that this man is a threat to sanity itself. So, should he threaten innocents with p3n1s en1argm3n7 or heirs to Zimbabwean fortunes, we'll understand if you have no choice but to drop him off of a building or something. Pummeling him to death would be acceptable too.
Here Is His Description (Score:5, Funny)
Be on the lookout for a man with a large penis and breasts, lots of mortgages, sexy naked teens, and a bottle of v1@grA. He was last seen with the ex-Minister of Finance for Nigeria, Dr Mugotumbe.
I am very pleased to hear of this escape! (Score:5, Insightful)
And I'm sure when he's there, locked up late at night with 'tiny', that he's going to regret sending those herbal Viagra and penis enlargement emails.
A proposal of mutual interest (Score:5, Funny)
Didn't know what it was, so I looked it up... (Score:5, Informative)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federal_Prison_Camp [wikipedia.org]
This describes the one in Nevada. (I couldn't find the one in CO)
Inmates, who dress in tan shirts and pants, may participate in a work program on Nellis AFB. The inmates typically perform janitorial services, cleaning floors, restrooms, and emptying trash from office buildings around the base. They also perform groundskeeping, and clean the base bowling alley. Each workcenter that uses inmate labor must assign an NCO or officer to monitor and direct the work throughout the day. These monitors receive a card after training (a video and lecture given by the correctional officers). The card authorizes monitors to transport the prisoners with them each morning (most weekdays) to their workcenters. Inmates are not allowed to leave the base to perform work. Inmates often say the work relieves the boredom they would otherwise face at the prison camp. The program saves taxpayers money that would otherwise be spent on contracted services or longer/less productive work hours by military personnel.
And this is about the Women's one in WV:
The camp comprises 105 acres (425,000 mÂ) of rolling hills. While there are no metal fences surrounding the camp, prisoners have schedules and must work. Free time is spent playing volleyball, softball or tennis.
Most of the inmates at FPC Alderson have been convicted of non-violent or white-collar crime. They sleep in bunk beds in dormitories or in cottages.
2nd amendment FTW (Score:5, Informative)
You're allowed to shoot escaped convicts on sight, right?
Re:Regrets? (Score:5, Funny)
Of course there are. He should email everybody to apologise!
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Re:Since when? (Score:5, Insightful)
He was spamming for pump-n-dump stock schemes. The SEC doesn't like that and had the resources to go after him. If he stuck to replica watches and bogus diplomas he'd still be living like a Spam King.
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